To think this is madness and not safe?!

[chocolateaupain]

17 year old DD is saying she is going out this evening to meet an 18 year old lad who she's never met before and knows nothing about. We live in the middle of nowhere- apparently he's "getting dropped off" near our house and she's "going for a walk" with him. She's chatted to him over FaceTime and text and they have mutual friends apparently but essentially she knows nothing about him. She plans to just walk around in the dark and cold in a rural area with him (lots of unlit areas). I've told her this is madness and to meet him somewhere lit and safe like a pub / cafe / restaurant for a proper date. She won't listen.

Am I overreacting?!

Blimey. That’s us told.

Yeah, it affected you so badly that you put a toddlers bath ahead of your eldest childs personal safety.
🙄

My partner is almost home, the plan is for him to take over bath/bedtime with toddler while this utterly shit mother who doesn't give a fuck about her eldest daughter, finishes off wrapping her mountain of gifts for tomorrow.

Merry christmas everyone 👍🏻

?

Did you imply I was a shit mother? Or otherwise through insults at me? No? Then not aimed at you is it.

Thanks x

This thread stressed me out and I don’t even know you or your daughter!

I’m so glad she saw sense and will be safe tonight!

you’re a great mum and when she matures one day she will thank you for protecting her xx

Thank you x

Well done OP. Some bored and bitter posters venting at you for god knows what reason!

OP, im glad you got it sorted.. and it IS as mad as you were making out.

I'm 42 and had been talking for 4 years to one person online, daily for about 2 months before i agreed to meet him, and i STILL insisted on it being in a public place (coffee shop) the first time we met in person.

I'm so sorry you've had such an earbashing on a night that was already incredibly stressful!! You've done the right thing and I hope people will think a bit more before being so shitty to a mother already going out of her mind with worry.

What??? Why can’t they go to a bar or something! I agree with you it’s madness. Can you give her some money to pay for some drinks/food with him? Will that convince her to go somewhere with more people?

I would worry too, but probably the biggest danger is that she'll be bored to tears! Try to relax and have a good Christmas OP, but when she has children of her own don't forget to say "I told you so!"

But her DP is due home any minute so there would have been a man in the house.

Time to ignore this thread OP and get on with your evening. I expect you're still a bit worried, but having had a couple of teenagers I know what that's like.

Happy Christmas anyway.

Thank you x

Thank you, same to you x

OP you did the right thing, you tried to talk her into meeting this guy in a safer way, you called someone who you thought your daughter would listen to, you compromised in a safe way, you have plans for her step dad to pick her up later.

You did fine, I can see you are panicking and stressed, I would be too.

just for context... i work for the emergency services, i'm not off this holiday, i'll be there taking the calls from all the parents who let their kids wander about in the dark with strangers ring me in the morning in a panic cos their kids did not come home.. i have two yes two adult daughters now, and there is no way in hell i would have let this situation play out! babies bath, christmas presents, anything.. i would have been right there sat next to my daughter trying to work out what really was going on!

don't confuse some peoples comments as cruel and harsh.. maybe, just maybe they have been there, done that and got the t-shirt

merry christmas

Your post reminded me of the insane risks I took like this in my late teens. Looking back now, it was so dangerous and I just didn't think about my personal safety at all. The difference here is your DD told you her plans, whereas I went behind my mum's back and she had no idea. You absolutely did the right thing to step in - I think of what could have happened to me on those risky situations and shudder.

why couldn't you have said that rather than being horrible to the OP?

Holly guard.
Get her to install that.

Thank you x

Exactly! 18 years old (if he is really that young) and works in a gym - he is likely to be physically more powerful than OP’s daughter OR the OP. I wouldn’t allow a total stranger in my home under those circumstances.

not one of my comments were horrible... the OP just chose to read them as such.