To think this is madness and not safe?!

[chocolateaupain]

17 year old DD is saying she is going out this evening to meet an 18 year old lad who she's never met before and knows nothing about. We live in the middle of nowhere- apparently he's "getting dropped off" near our house and she's "going for a walk" with him. She's chatted to him over FaceTime and text and they have mutual friends apparently but essentially she knows nothing about him. She plans to just walk around in the dark and cold in a rural area with him (lots of unlit areas). I've told her this is madness and to meet him somewhere lit and safe like a pub / cafe / restaurant for a proper date. She won't listen.

Am I overreacting?!

How old are you OP? You sound quite immature tbh.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

39. Thanks for reminding me how close to 40 I am 😭

Who comes on a forum to ask advice instead of just dealing with the shitshow that's happening in front of them?!

Panicked, stressed people who don't have another adult at home to bounce something insanely stressful off. Hth.

Ahhhh I was waiting for this one. 👍🏻
Didn't disappoint 😂

parenting 101 right there... not sure the term 'selfish teen' has been used enough yet though

Well quite

This is all a bit hysterical. I mean, I'm not sure the solution is any safer - she could get raped by the taxi driver. If we're going to have a full on panic attack about her going on an arranged date with a boy her age who she's been talking to for ages, then why aren't we worried about her getting in a car with a strange older man?

Foll de rol

Merry Christmas one and all (including the warped and bitter ones, I do hope you find happiness in 2024)

I'm off to wrap my SELFISH teen's mountain of crimbo pressies 🥴😂😂😂

Cheers 🥂

It would be much much safer for your DD to invite the man into your home, where you can size him up, and call for help if need be, than for her to go for a walk in an unlit rural area with a stranger.

Op when I look back on horrible situations I got myself into at that age I wish I had a mum like you. Don't pay attention to the negative ones on here

Taxi drivers are usually vetted and licensed by the local authority.

Hardly the same thing.

It's not the same thing, no. She's far more likely to be in danger getting into a car with a strange man than going for a walk with her friend.

Would have made more sense to invite the boy to her home, or for OP to drop her off at the pub. But I guess then there wouldn't be a huge fun drama and slagging off of teenage girls to be done.

Op's daughter is 17, not 7. Dragging a toddler out and following a 17 year old....really? do you think that 17 year old will ever be honest again? No one is posting that if they have teenagers.

Stupid idea, it might buy you a night of peace, but god help you going forward.

Education, examples of real life and a conversation about being selfish to her family is needed. OP might have children from different dads, doesn't change anything.

She did come for advice. a handhold. it's a real shame that mumsnet has so many idiots.

Jesus Christ their are some nasty bitches on here tonight.Sorry op,I would feel exactly like you if this were my (now very grown up)daughter.I hope you have a lovely Christmas.💕

Nonsense.

There are some mad people on this thread, bringing all their own shit in. What the hell has this got to do with your older DD having a different dad (if indeed she does)? I totally understand why you would be pissed off at the prospect of dragging your toddler out in the dark in the pushchair to follow your older daughter, when you should all be at home.

Hope older DD has a nice night!

You did everything right (except you shouldn't have bothered replying to the lunatics on here accusing you of being a bad mother - you should have just ignored them as they are completely bonkers and it was a waste of your time).

Aren't there? Unbelievable.

I am very new to MN and thought it might be a distraction from the stresses of my day, and i've noticed one thing..

If you post your honest thoughts, then you are mean and nasty, but if you post 'there there' 'love hearts and kisses' stuff you are simply lovely.

I don't understand why being concerned for the safety of a vulnerable 17 year old and voicing those concerns is being 'bitchy'.

The OP has made a big fuss about being incrediably busy with more important things than her 17 year old, yet she's managed to reply to pretty much every comment thats been made. so clearly she's not been as busy as she made out.

I really do hope that this is all a storm in a tea-cup, and that said 17 year old comes home at a reasonable hour, happy, safe and well and that when she gets home mum is sat up waiting for her and they can have a chat and things will be all good for tomorrow.

As a 17 yr old, I would have not had a problem with this, apart from being cold. But then, in my day we'd have probably already met, underage, in a pub or club and had a shag on the way home. In the cold.

As someone who has a lot of contact with 18tr old boys, I can see how some would think this is a good idea. 18 yr olds vary wildly in terms of maturity.

As a mother, I'd be freaking out. Has anyone suggested they sit in your garden?

Why do people keep pretending that allowing a possible rapist and murderer direct access to two women AND a toddler instead of just one young woman is any kind of solution?

how do you not realise how ridiculous this sounds? 😂 poor kids are just doing what teenagers do and he’s been called a rapist and murderer.

I wouldnt be overly happy about my daughter doing this either but calm down ffs

So invite him to yours to meet her. If he’s legit he will and if he isn’t he will run a mile.

I would be inviting him in - my daughter used to try and do this going out for walks in the countryside (where we live)!! I just said your friend is welcome here and they came and chilled here instead!

Just to say my daughters friends all do this sort of thing too - doesn’t seem like it’s uncommon xx

OP what time does your husband get back? Can you get him to pop to the pub and not let her see him just to keep an eye on her?

Another reason I feel hurt and let down is that she lied to me too. When I was challenging her on the plan and saying it's not a good idea, please arrange a proper date with him in a public place etc, I asked her whether her Dad knew her plans. She replied that he did and he was fine with it! So I called him, fuming, thinking how can he possibly have said this is ok? He knew nothing about it and said it was craziness! She then called down the stairs " I was just about to call him and tell him". So why say he'd approved it then? She obviously wasn't counting on me calling him to check. That lie has upset me.

You're not a shit mother x