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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think they should have cancelled?

272 replies

Madwife123 · 24/12/2023 12:57

We invite DSIL and family for Christmas every year. They arrive Christmas Eve morning and stay until Boxing Day as they travel 3 hours to us.

We both have children, similar age and it works well for us as we have the bigger house to put them up and they enjoy not having the cooking etc.

Anyway, they arrived this morning as planned but nearly 2 hours late. Apologised for being late and explained they had to keep pulling over as nephew has a vomiting bug and was being sick.

Why on earth did they still come!!

I have expressed I’m not happy they still came and their response was, they have no Xmas food in as they had planned to come to us and they can’t just cancel Christmas.

I think it’s really selfish to come and infect all my household and am pretty pissed off. Partner thinks I’m overreacting and it will be fine.

OP posts:
IDontDrinkTea · 24/12/2023 17:02

Surely this isn’t real. No one is so stupid

If it is real, I’m very very sorry OP. And I hope you’ve got a good stock of washing powder / vomit bowls / loo roll 😬

Beautiful3 · 24/12/2023 17:08

Oh no its going to infect your kids, and they'll start throwing up in a couple of days. Why would they do that? I honestly wouldn't invite them next year.

betterangels · 24/12/2023 17:10

That's so selfish. Wow. I'd be pissed off.

Iwasafool · 24/12/2023 17:19

Dontsayanything · 24/12/2023 14:54

I was in my surgery on friday. Saw little ones with runny noses ,coughs ,flu ,diarrhoea and an adult with COVID !!
I hope the world doesnt crash !!😂

I hope you are ringing a bell everywhere you go and shouting "Unclean" just to let people know you are about to end civilisation as we know it.

betterangels · 24/12/2023 17:20

I fully expect we’ve already been exposed to it and will all be ill. There will be strong words had after this and I will NOT be inviting them next year! I literally can’t relax now, feel like I’m just waiting for the inevitable of us all coming down with it.

I'd be the same. I'm sorry, they're being really shitty.

Iwasafool · 24/12/2023 17:25

oakleaffy · 24/12/2023 15:07

Those aren’t as miserable as a severe vomiting bug.
There’s a reason people are asked to stay away from others with suspected Norovirus type illness.
Especially hospitals.
No one wants D&V , especially not over Christmas when they have to cook &c.

Show quote history

I caught norovirus, think it was a cafe where I had lunch. Amazingly no one else in the house got it, I had 4 GC staying for the weekend, DH and DD.

I used the loo downstairs, everyone washed their hands regularly, I didn't prepare food or wash dishes. Good hygiene is very useful.

ArcaneWireless · 24/12/2023 17:30

I hope your DP is well acquainted with marigold gloves, disinfectant and your oven.

He can cater and clean and tend to the sickly if it isn’t a big deal.

I’d be up in my bedroom, existing on chocolate, crisps and some lovely juice. I’d have the kettle up for coffee as well.

Selfish, inconsiderate guests would never get another invite.

elfintinsel · 24/12/2023 17:35

I nipped into M&S at 4:30pm to see if there were any bargains to get. You could get a full Christmas Dinner. They still had loads.
Your relatives are selfish and ridiculous. I hope you don't catch the bug.

thebestinterest · 24/12/2023 17:38

These posts make me wonder..: what did we do before Xmas? We really just went around infecting people, didn’t we? 😂

Midnightgrey · 24/12/2023 17:48

I would have asked them to leave - permanently.

category12 · 24/12/2023 17:51

thebestinterest · 24/12/2023 17:38

These posts make me wonder..: what did we do before Xmas? We really just went around infecting people, didn’t we? 😂

I'd not take a vomiting child to someone's house to stay because it'd be miserable for the child and horrible for the hosts. That's before you get to the potential transmission of norovirus which is also miserable.

Seriously, why would anyone think it's reasonable to take a puking kid to someone else's house?

Hoglet70 · 24/12/2023 18:32

TwoCoffeesPlease · 24/12/2023 14:58

I would be LIVID op, and as an emetophobe, I would be riddled with anxiety. This would definitely ruin my Christmas and probably theirs too because I am incapable of socialising normally in these situations.

I have come a long way with my emetophobia as I can now cope with people being sick e.g., through too much booze but a sickness bug in my house is my worst nightmare.

Do they honestly think you are going to be sitting around the table playing monopoly while they are actively shedding norovirus into the air? There is no way I would have allowed them to cross the threshold, especially not at Christmas!!

Me too. I would have had to leave home and abandon the lot of them.

JANEY205 · 24/12/2023 18:39

thebestinterest · 24/12/2023 17:38

These posts make me wonder..: what did we do before Xmas? We really just went around infecting people, didn’t we? 😂

I’d have stayed home with my ill child….common bloody sense! This isn’t a new thing ffs. I don’t know why people act like pre Covid or around Christmas it was EVER normal to take your poorly children out. Only asshole parents would do this.

Grapewrath · 24/12/2023 18:40

Total pricks.
They could have easily got some food today. I would have sent them back.

momsybear · 24/12/2023 19:21

ArcaneWireless · 24/12/2023 17:30

I hope your DP is well acquainted with marigold gloves, disinfectant and your oven.

He can cater and clean and tend to the sickly if it isn’t a big deal.

I’d be up in my bedroom, existing on chocolate, crisps and some lovely juice. I’d have the kettle up for coffee as well.

Selfish, inconsiderate guests would never get another invite.

Love this sentiment 😍 Just replace juice with wine and it'd win the internet

Mrsm010918 · 24/12/2023 19:50

I would've kicked them out as soon as I found out and sod what DP thought. He could go with them for all I care.

I'm currently suffering with a sickness bug and it's horrible, no way would I be selfish enough to inflict it on another household

BananaSplitsss · 24/12/2023 20:59

Topsyturvy78 · 24/12/2023 15:48

Selfish and to make their son travel when he's obviously not well. My DD ended up in hospital fighting for her life because a parent sent their child into school knowing he had been sick the night before. Said oh he seemed ok in the morning we thought it was something he ate. There's a 48 hour rule for a reason. Because my DD couldn't keep her meds down she ended up in hospital at first HDU then transferred to a children's hospital for intensive care.

We had a similar situation where DS was taken by ambulance to hospital. He ended up having three weeks off school and was incredibly sick and unwell.
The selfishness of some people is astounding. Mind blowing even. Utterly disgusting behaviour.

Missingmyusername · 24/12/2023 21:03

Archymum · 24/12/2023 13:16

It's probably COVID. A lot of kids are vomiting with the latest variant. I'd insist on them leaving.

Yes, I was thinking this. Why would you not just stay at home, I wouldn’t want to travel with a sick child.
The shops are open, but some food and stay at home.
I couldn’t refuse them when they arrived, that would a six hour journey, they’d have no doubt required the restroom, come in for a cup of tea.

oakleaffy · 24/12/2023 21:06

Iwasafool · 24/12/2023 17:25

I caught norovirus, think it was a cafe where I had lunch. Amazingly no one else in the house got it, I had 4 GC staying for the weekend, DH and DD.

I used the loo downstairs, everyone washed their hands regularly, I didn't prepare food or wash dishes. Good hygiene is very useful.

Show quote history

Definitely !
( Re good hygiene)

I have caught it before and people in the house haven’t because of strict self isolation, Bleaching, and not cooking for others for 48 hrs after last symptoms.

I can’t imagine dragging a very nauseated child for three hours in a car-
Poor kid.

When one is poorly like that , one wants own bed NOT to be ferried to another house.

oakleaffy · 24/12/2023 21:21

AcrossthePond55 · 24/12/2023 15:44

Since contagion happens before symptoms appear, chances are one or more of SiL's family is already spreading germs.

It may be too late, but I'd be insisting they wear masks (DH and I would probably wear masks also due to both of us having compromised immunity) and I'd insist on frequent hand washing and have anti-bac hand wipes or gel in every room. In short, I'd 'reinstitute' all the old Covid protocols. I'd also set up a card table for them away from the main diners since gathering around a table would be a huge 'spreader'. I'd also use separate serving dishes and utensils. If nothing else, the 'inconveniences' would remind them of what idiots they've been

I realize this may sound like overkill to some people, but to tell the truth DH and I have noticed that we've gotten fewer colds & sickness bugs since we've adopted the custom of masks in crowded settings. Where we live no on thinks twice about it.

I can't believe anyone could be so selfish.

Sadly Anti Bacterial hand gel is useless against Norovirus.

All it does is smear the still viable virus 🦠 around.
Hot running Soapy water and thoroughly washing hands is much more efficient.

Norovirus is a tough virus 🦠 unaffected by alcohol gels .

It only takes a few particles of virus to infect someone.
It’s “ Turd to tongue” virus where someone has infected you from their vomit or faeces-

Aerosol particles - I read about it when recovering once

PP says to remove tooth brushes from bathroom of infected person.
Good call.

Iwasafool · 24/12/2023 22:55

oakleaffy · 24/12/2023 21:06

Definitely !
( Re good hygiene)

I have caught it before and people in the house haven’t because of strict self isolation, Bleaching, and not cooking for others for 48 hrs after last symptoms.

I can’t imagine dragging a very nauseated child for three hours in a car-
Poor kid.

When one is poorly like that , one wants own bed NOT to be ferried to another house.

Show quote history

Oh I agree about not dragging a sick child on a 3 hour journey. I just think the OPs feeling that it inevitable that everyone is going to get it isn't necessarily true.

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 24/12/2023 23:00

Utterly selfish.
One of them could have stayed home with the sick child and the other could have popped to M&S this afternoon and easily got enough food for Christmas Day and a few days afterwards.

ChristmasMerry · 24/12/2023 23:02

oakleaffy · 24/12/2023 21:21

Sadly Anti Bacterial hand gel is useless against Norovirus.

All it does is smear the still viable virus 🦠 around.
Hot running Soapy water and thoroughly washing hands is much more efficient.

Norovirus is a tough virus 🦠 unaffected by alcohol gels .

It only takes a few particles of virus to infect someone.
It’s “ Turd to tongue” virus where someone has infected you from their vomit or faeces-

Aerosol particles - I read about it when recovering once

PP says to remove tooth brushes from bathroom of infected person.
Good call.

Show quote history

There are some companies that do make hand gels that work on norovirus, like the company Serenity. They’re used in private hospitals. Just too expensive for the NHS and alcohol gel is cheap and they’d rather it let room through hospitals than pay more

WorriedMum231 · 24/12/2023 23:04

I’m more concerned about how awful it must be to travel that far while vomiting. No adult would do it so to make a child do it is beyond cruel.

Asifiwouldnt · 24/12/2023 23:10

I would be incredibly upset with them

Do you have more than one bathroom? Seriously hope you do.

Not having food in is no excuse at all- shops were all open today. They should have cancelled and come next week.