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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want to have words that I find offensive in thread titles?

172 replies

seeker · 16/03/2008 08:23

Well,am I?

I object very strongly to people using the word "cunt" as a perjorative term - I think it's offensive and degrading to women. I challenge people who use it in RL. Do I have a point? Or not?

OP posts:
elesbells · 16/03/2008 08:24

Horrible word.

NotDoingTheHousework · 16/03/2008 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

squigglywig · 16/03/2008 08:27

I find it offensive too and would rather not see it, but don't agree with censoring swearwords and accept I can't pick and choose.

It IS a vile term when used perjoratively though.

franke · 16/03/2008 08:27

Just use the 'Hide this thread' facility, then you don't have to look at it every time you click on active convos.

WanderingTrolley · 16/03/2008 08:29

I'm not offended by it, but I appreciate not everyone feels that way.

Hiding the thread best option, I think.

AbbeyA · 16/03/2008 08:29

YANBU - I agree entirely, it is totally unnecessary. It puts me off reading the thread, because if the poster has to start with offensive language it is generally not worth reading anyway.

AbbeyA · 16/03/2008 08:30

I didn't realise that you could hide a thread-I will do this in future.

luckylady74 · 16/03/2008 08:33

I think it's got to be like the tv - just change the channel/hide the thread. Personally I don't find it offensive - particularly when a women uses it - reclaiming words makes them lose theirpower to degrade.
So yes I think you're being a liyyle unreasonable.

BBBee · 16/03/2008 08:34

agree WT

Freckle · 16/03/2008 08:34

I agree. I often leave my computer on with active convos on screen. I would be mortified if my children read some of the titles.

I accept that there is often swearing within threads and I don't have a particular problem with that, but then I don't often leave a thread open on screen.

Perhaps MN could agree that thread titles should not contain offensive words without censoring the thread content.

I find the "c" word horrendously offensive. A girl attacked DS2 right outside our house the other day. She was oblivious to the fact that I was standing on our path, so when she called DS2 (for getting away) a "fcking gay c**", and I shouted at her to watch her language, she was startled beyond belief. She looked at me as if to say "What???". Not sure she even realised what foul language she had been using. But I won't have language like that used around me or my children - so I don't really want to see it in thread titles.

BBBee · 16/03/2008 08:35

agree LL

3NAB · 16/03/2008 08:36

I really wanted to swear the other day but was conscious about children who may see it so I did a BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP thread title and then swore my head off in the post.

harleyd · 16/03/2008 08:38

i like it
its a great word
hide the thread and stop moaning
i dont agree with censorship

AbbeyA · 16/03/2008 08:39

I agree, Freckle, I wouldn't talk to people with such limited vocabularies in RL so I hate seeing them on here.

cheesesarnie · 16/03/2008 08:41

i dont mind it but agree about it being in thread titles.
same on facebook etc when i keep getting posts about dying children etc with graphic pics-my children might be sat next to me and dont need to see it

mrbojangles · 16/03/2008 08:43

Yanbu if thats how you feel.
Doesnt bother me in the slightest though

luckylady74 · 16/03/2008 08:48

Swearing children is different(imho) so I'm going to back track - my children can't read yet so I hadn't thought about children seeing it. Yes it seems reasonable to not swear in thread titles!

beaniesteve · 16/03/2008 09:22

Depends on the context. People use it affectionately sometimes. I don't object to it mostly, but nor do I think using a word often is liberating it.

fortyplus · 16/03/2008 09:26

I do think that the people who use it don't stop to consider that some of us have children reading the screen over our shoulders!

So fine if you can't think of anything more eloquent to express yourself in a thread, but I'd certainly rather not see it in the title.

cornsilk · 16/03/2008 09:34

Abbey A -
'I wouldn't talk to people with such limited vocabularies in RL so I hate seeing them on here.'
Who or what do you mean by 'them.'

donna123 · 16/03/2008 09:48

"I agree, Freckle, I wouldn't talk to people with such limited vocabularies in RL so I hate seeing them on here."

It's not big and it's not clever but it is offensive, whether it is in the thread or the title.
Another vote for YANBU here.

Original poster
seeker · 16/03/2008 10:01

I agree about reclaiming words - but I really really don't think this particular one has been. And I agree that I can hide the thread - I don't actually, my children are 7 and 12 and sadly both know this word. If they didn't I would want to talk about it to them rather than hide it from them.

I don't have a massive problem with swearing - I just think this particular word is unique - it's symbolic of a mysogenist society and utterly degrading to women.

And I don't think that I was moaning - I thought I was starting a discussion!

Rant over!

OP posts:
pointedegg · 16/03/2008 10:02

It's only a word. And interestingly the people who use it on mn often have very large vocabularies.

Original poster
seeker · 16/03/2008 10:07

Words are very powerful things. Whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones, but hard words never hurt anybody" was very wrong in my opinion.

I really hate the fact that my daughter is growing up knowing that the worst swearword going is the word for her genitals.

OP posts:
edam · 16/03/2008 10:10

I've heard people argue that we should reclaim the word and use it with pride. Not sure about it myself.