Hello Seeker!
v briefly, and not having had chance to read whole thread, sorry.. felt like you till about 10 yrs ago.
This was my post on the last thread about the word:
"fwiw (which, at this late stage, is truly bugger all)
don't partic like the word used as an aggressive insult (though I use it like this myself) only because it's commonly perceived to be the worst insult. The implication is (as many have said) that the very, very worst thing in the world is vulval/vaginal/female.
Simultaneously loathe the idea that it should never be used, for the same reasons.
Snort, with long snot trails, at the person who said it was the worst insult 'especially from a woman'.
Hire helicopter and lower Large Sign for Harpsi. (Sign says 'Let's reclaim the word cunt as a not-particularly-aggressive, often-jokey insult. Like prick, arse, tit")
Look forward to the day we hear "my precious, you really are a cunt, but I do love you"
Update:
I think my turning point was meeting non -self-censoring-in-front-of-the-ladies, Northern, working-class DP and discovering that lots of men don't, in fact, use it as the very worst word, but as a medium-grade, often jokey insult, often affectionately to friends. DH, btw, reserves 'tosspot' for the lowest of the low. I say 'fucking prick'..
HTH!