AIBU to think we NEED to repair society however we can

[Puffalicious]

I occasionally see posts from the local FB page- good to keep up with things happening etc. Recently there have been many posts with people helping each other for Christmas- signposting people looking to donate toys/ food etc, the odd person asking (very mixed area, big city, so wealthy folk mixed with people struggling & everything in between).

Yesterday a post grabbed me, an anonymous post looking for food to tide them over until 29th when paid. Seemed very genuine. They asked for a PM, which I did, along with a few others it seems. It was a young girl, pregnant who had no-one & no food. I usually give to the local food bank- had just Yesterday done a larger, Christmas donation whilst doing my shop- but she seemed outside the system, working with unexpected costs.

We exchanged a few messages & she said she wasn't fussy, eats most things & whatever I thought would be great. She wasn't askimg for anything else. I did a week's shop including items for breakfast, lunch & dinner & some treats, including plenty fresh fruit & veg, milk, bread, washing powder & shampoo. She said she had no plans for Xmas day, so I offered to plate up & drop off.

When I went to drop the food she met me at the door with a joint in her hand. She's 6 months pregnant. Unfortunately her hallway was full of filthy stuff & the stench that hit me was unbearable. We chatted a bit: she had lived there 4 years & had 5 other children- the eldest lives with the father, the other 4 with her mum. She would be at her mum's for Xmas, she 'never misses one', so did have someone cooking for Xmas. The father of her child is in a city hours away- she's just back from visiting & wants to distance herself.

I wished her a Merry Christmas & asked if she needed things for the baby- I gave her details of local places to contact if needed. She says she cannot work - another thing she was untruthful about, but she may have her reasons.

I know I can't save the world, & I'm pleased she has food, but I feel that I won't do this again? I'm not sure why I feel like this, but I think I'll stick to giving to the local food bank. I feel like I'm not judging, maybe I am in my own way?

Where has society got to where a 25 year old will have 6 children, 5 of which are not in her care & the 6th probably under social work watch? How can we fix this? I work in education & see ACES & trauma in the young people who come from such situations. Where are we going wrong? What can we do? She seemed pleasant & perhaps with half a chance she may have had a different path.

I'm wittering now.

YABU- Society is how it is, we can't change people.

YANBU- We need to try to change society for the sake of that unborn baby & many like it.

It was just so very sad. I'm really sad tonight. I'm looking at my own DC sleeping in his bed & so sad that this little baby not yet born won't have the security & safety he has as a given.

If only she'd been born royal. Then she'd be fully entitled to state support, a mansion or 10, servants on hand to cater to every whim and indeed the right to never actually working an actual day in her life. Oh if only she had earned the right and prestigiousness of being born with blue blood. Oh well, she can only but try.

Prince William recently did another photo op with his go-to homeless friend who was still homeless last year. Tis such a pity that man is still homeless but thems the breaks - can't be relying on the hard earned cash and work ethic of Prince Will to tide him over!

It speaks volumes that she could afford a joint but not food. You’ve been had op.

thats the thing at times you can offer as muchb help and guideance for them, but if they want sex, drugs etc then how can you help those that have those preferences to create a better and improved society.

What do you mean not work a day?
kate and William are out working today. Saturday 23rd Dec. Most people, unless they work in retail/shifts are off work today. But not those royals - they are working.

Thatcher always said the state shouldn't be responsible for people. People should be responsible for themselves. I'm massively paraphrasing but that was the gist. Perhaps by removing benefits except for those most desperate would be a good place to start

@uclpp Apologies, you're right. Goodness knows how they managed to wrangle the kids this morning and get to work. Hope they don't have a horrid time of it trying to get home later what with all the travel chaos. If it's not too late they might manage to grab a frozen pizza to stick on for when they get in! Tis cold out!

Are you the joint smoker?

Very hardworking royals, Having to go to a Christmas mass in a pretty church while shaking hands with a few people, smiling to the camera then being driven back to their palace in a limousine. It’s a tough life ye know?

They aren’t with their kids because they are working.

They receive death threats FGS.

they have problems - they are just different to normal people’s problems. It’s ignorant to think all is rosy for them.

Bring back the workhouses obviously.
Bah...humbug!

The “joint smoker” doesn’t get to mangle the kids before she goes to work, do an hour commute in a traffic jam. Between the royals and the pot smoker there’s a grey scale

And let’s not forget William’s mother got killed as a result of being royal when he was just a child. How fuckwitted to think that his life is easy and great.

For people in really grim situations esp drug addition-related honestly, I’d offer voluntary sterilization as an option with some sort of inducement in exchange. I suspect many would take it up if the incentive was good enough.

I know a lot of people would be horrified at the idea, though.

100%
Public services should be well funded (Sure Start etc), it would save loads of money in the long run. Unfortunatly most voters are too stupid to see that (or hate the poor so much they think it's worth it). And as for the much trumpeted idea that people should work harder at school to get a well paying job, all jobs should be well paid. A bin man or care worker or shop worker should be able to live on their wages and afford a decent life. Low status jobs should be better paid better and have more respect, that would be a good start insted of blaming people for their own poverty and telling them to do better.

Why have so many children? Society pays out benefits to people and children and yet they keep having more and more children they cannot afford. Not just the women. The water men are just as responsible.

I feel their pain, getting threats while sorrounded by the police and an army of bodyguards is scary, I agree. My neighbour too gets threats from her ex and the police are not taking her seriously, I guess she’s not royal 👸

Public services should be well funded and available in all areas and communities but individuals need to be personally responsible for the choices they make.

Hang on. Just saw the bit about joint in her hand. OP, you think you’re being all virtuous. In reality, you’ve been mugged off.

Signalling virtues about society’s ills is a new Statius symbol. But you’ve got to know when to stop without making yourself look dim.

Public services are VERY available for this girl, they have paid for her pregnancies, her health care and for placing those babies with their dads. Those same public services are probably paying for her council flat, universal credit and maybe for her joint too, obvs they’re not that amazing as she’s asking for food (which the OP) has very generously provided, but those public services are being very very available.

But they are not actually paying for mental health care, which is a broken link in the chain.

You’re right and I think we lose sight of just how much people get out of this country even when contributing nothing. But many posters would have us give far far more. There has to be an incentive to working, but I think we’re losing it to be honest, at least for low or middling paid jobs.

based on some stories in the main stream media, etc the other factor is some individuals only prefer to do what they want to do reguardless of others in society, and that does not help bring society together too