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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pull her up in "public" about this?

140 replies

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:22

Last night DD was in a Christmas show - big event, looking forward to it for months. Night was ruined by 3 drunk women behind us who shouted at each other the whole way through, swearing and generally being arses. After a while I realised that I knew one of them vaguely through work, so turned around and said hello to her (hoping that seeing me would embarrass her into shutting up) - I just got abuse from the women she was with.

Will be due to attend a meeting with her in the New Year. Would I be unreasonable to mention in front of people how she'd been???

OP posts:
Vistada · 23/12/2023 08:23

YABU

pull her up in private by all means but in public? Petty and immature.

Shouldershoulder · 23/12/2023 08:25

You'd look very unprofessional.

WhatNoRaisins · 23/12/2023 08:27

I don't think a work meeting is the right time or place but I'd struggle not to say anything.

theduchessofspork · 23/12/2023 08:27

Of course it would be unreasonable

You would be the one who looked unprofessional, not her

Raise it with her in private if you want to

ArchetypalBusyMum · 23/12/2023 08:29

Tempting. But likely to massively backfire. Conversation in private world be better, but someone like that likely won't give a flying f sadly.
How horrible to spoil a show.

Glenthebattleostrich · 23/12/2023 08:29

I would say it was nice to see you at my daughter's performance just before Christmas, you certainly seemed yo be enjoying it, with a big smile and watch her squirm!

SandandSky · 23/12/2023 08:29

OMG don’t do it you would look so petty and unprofessional

ElevenSeven · 23/12/2023 08:29

If you did this in my firm, it would be you that would be pulled aside, not her.

Annoying as it is, work is not the place for this.

SandandSky · 23/12/2023 08:30

Conversation in private though? Absolutely! Let her squirm

Original poster
Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:32

Glenthebattleostrich · 23/12/2023 08:29

I would say it was nice to see you at my daughter's performance just before Christmas, you certainly seemed yo be enjoying it, with a big smile and watch her squirm!

This is the sort of thing I was considering - not a dressing down in front of folk, which it's not my place to do anyway (she works for a different organisation, one which we contract services from)

OP posts:
Iouis · 23/12/2023 08:33

Why would you pick a work meeting in front of people, extremely unprofessional I'd be mortified if someone done that to someone else in a meeting.

Octonaut4Life · 23/12/2023 08:33

Chances are she would have a very different recollection of the event to you and refuse to accept her behavior was out of line anyway. I once went to a work event, some colleagues got so drunk and rowdy the hotel manager had to threaten to kick them out - years later they still think he was totally unreasonable and their behavior was fine despite those of us who were more sober telling them they were making a complete nuisance of themselves and the manager was totally right!

Vistada · 23/12/2023 08:34

Out of 9 replies the only one you've engaged with is the only one that vaguely aligns with you

Baffles me why people use aibu when they've clearly already made up their mind

Namechange4234 · 23/12/2023 08:35

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:32

This is the sort of thing I was considering - not a dressing down in front of folk, which it's not my place to do anyway (she works for a different organisation, one which we contract services from)

Show quote history

Fgs do NOT do this

Let it go and avoid her

Don't make yourself into an idiot

Original poster
Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:36

Vistada · 23/12/2023 08:34

Out of 9 replies the only one you've engaged with is the only one that vaguely aligns with you

Baffles me why people use aibu when they've clearly already made up their mind

Nope, am definitely considering all responses. Just responded to that one to clarify what I meant by "pulling up" - which was maybe a bit strong.

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 23/12/2023 08:38

Also what if she was so pissed she doesn't even remember it?

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 23/12/2023 08:39

Do not say anything to her in a work setting, you would be unprofessional not to mention petty. The right time to have acted was in the show itself, either asking them to pipe down or getting an organiser / usher to deal with them.

Original poster
Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:39

Would mentioning it in private to my colleague who manages the contract be out of order? As part of the general "how did your Christmas go?" conversation?

OP posts:
Original poster
Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:39

WhatNoRaisins · 23/12/2023 08:38

Also what if she was so pissed she doesn't even remember it?

You could be right!

OP posts:
ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 23/12/2023 08:41

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:39

Would mentioning it in private to my colleague who manages the contract be out of order? As part of the general "how did your Christmas go?" conversation?

Totally. This is not work related. You should have acted at the time.

Namechange4234 · 23/12/2023 08:41

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:39

Would mentioning it in private to my colleague who manages the contract be out of order? As part of the general "how did your Christmas go?" conversation?

Oh
My
God

Let it go !

She made a mistake. Stop trying to get her into trouble. Are you 12?

Basilthymerosemary · 23/12/2023 08:42

YABU let it go. Bring it up with her by all means but don't involve others. It's embarrassing on your part ...like primary school behaviour ...so and so did this.... waaa waaa waaa.

It doesn't excuse her behaviour but come on, your an adult.

Vistada · 23/12/2023 08:44

Fgs let it go!

I was initially sympathetic but now I'm thinking you might have a mean streak

Here is a list of people you should mention it to:

Her.
Theatre usher (I'm presuming you did this at the time?)

AdrianaLaCerva · 23/12/2023 08:44

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:39

Would mentioning it in private to my colleague who manages the contract be out of order? As part of the general "how did your Christmas go?" conversation?

Stop trying to get colleague disciplined, which is clearly your objective.

Original poster
Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:47

Namechange4234 · 23/12/2023 08:41

Oh
My
God

Let it go !

She made a mistake. Stop trying to get her into trouble. Are you 12?

Show quote history

Nope, just pissed off that a Christmas show was ruined by her and her friends screaming and swearing all through it. Other people asked them to be quiet, they just got told to fuck off. Getting someone to ask them to leave would have escalated it even more - one of the women was obviously up for a fight. This was more than just being Christmas drunk and enjoying selves.

OP posts: