To pull her up in "public" about this?

[Auntieobem]

Last night DD was in a Christmas show - big event, looking forward to it for months. Night was ruined by 3 drunk women behind us who shouted at each other the whole way through, swearing and generally being arses. After a while I realised that I knew one of them vaguely through work, so turned around and said hello to her (hoping that seeing me would embarrass her into shutting up) - I just got abuse from the women she was with.

Will be due to attend a meeting with her in the New Year. Would I be unreasonable to mention in front of people how she'd been???

You'll end up getting sacked glowing down this route

Which I suspect you know and this is just being provocative

Do you have a HR dept? Because if you spoke about that in front of people, could that be cause for her to speak to hr about you?

Is this a reverse? It would obviously be out of order

YANBU, you tell her hun, show your colleagues what kind of a trashy cow they're working with xx

Well she sounds horrible but any conversation with her is likely to go over her head or lead to abuse. . The time to say something was at the show. They should have been thrown out. Just avoid her and keep any work conversations to essentials only.

Please don't do that! She was letting her hair down before Christmas, perhaps most of us wouldn't do that, but what right do you have to fuck up her career just because of a bit of raucous behaviour. Step away and be the bigger person, she probably felt foolish in the morning anyway

Of course. But you are a professional surely?

Keep schtum you’re only going to make yourself look like a gossip.

Her actions are nothing to do with work but it shows what sort of person she is. Alcohol turns some people nasty although why they would get drunk at a kids Christmas show beats me. I would certainly be looking at her differently.

When you said Hello, did she acknowledge you?

Even though drunk, there is a good chance she will have a memory of it. It will be interesting to see if she says anything to you! UPDATE IF SHE DOES!

Getting drunk and swearing during a child’s Christmas performance isn’t ’letting your hair down’. It’s hideous behaviour. That said, I wouldn’t waste my time saying anything. I would be any non work interaction with her from
now on though.

YABU to bring her private life into her professional life. You should have dealt with it at the time by getting staff at the venue to deal with it.

When we were at the theatre and the women behind us were shouting and spilling drinks over us, my friend complained to management and they removed the women and gave us different seats as ours were now wet.

Indeed. It was surprising to hear shouts of "motherfucker!" when jingle bells came on...

What kind of event was it, why didn't you ask an usher to deal with it at the time?

It isn't work related so of course shouldn't be raised at work. Whst do you gain anyway you have now missed the event and watching your child. Pointless.

Exactly. In the case of real disruption management can pause a show while it's dealt with. The. Everyone can enjoy the rest.
If it was loud as you say I'm surprised staff didn't deal with if anyway.

Of course not!

Why didn't you complain to the ushers at the time?

Do you even need to ask this? Of course it would.

This behaviour happens a lot unfortunately and I think it's got worse. I now get staff to deal with these people.
I was at a concert last year, had complained to staff about behaviour of people behind, constantly talking,shouting and swearing, nothing was done. Eventually other people complained and one was thrown out but not not all of them, this was near the end of the show.
I sent an email to management after to complain that it had should have been dealt with earlier. Some people just go to these things and sit and drink like they are at a festival or somewhere.
I have been to other shows where people were removed, one group was older women, one so drunk she could hardly stand. I'm paying a lot of money to enjoy a show, not have it ruined by these idiots.

Sorry but this made me laugh. Obviously I wouldn’t have if I was there but ‘jingle bells mother fucker’ sounds like a line from Die Hard

YABU, you should have just told her to shut up there and then. It’s not appropriate to bring it up during a work meeting, it will just make you look stupid.

If she recalls her (and her friend) behaving like utter arses, the mere sight of you is likely to make her squirm with embarrassment. On the other hand, if she can't remember the event or remembers it as just a bit of a laugh, then she's unlikely to feel shamed by anything you say or do. And given the possible professional repercussions mentioned by previous posters, bringing up the event is not going to be the cathartic experience you seem to be looking for. I can see why you would want one! But I would let venting here be enough.

It’s one thing being an arse when you’re drunk, it’s quite another thing being an arse when you’re stone cold sober….cringing for you OP!

You’re as bad as her in many ways.

You will look v unprofessional. I would message the organisers of the show and request that they be denied entry in the future. They all sound rank.

I can see why this might be tempting but you should’ve said something to her at the time or afterwards. Bringing it up at a meeting or even alluding to her behaviour makes you look silly and pathetic. Your colleagues want to work not to hear about what one of them got up to outside work.