To pull her up in "public" about this?

[Auntieobem]

Last night DD was in a Christmas show - big event, looking forward to it for months. Night was ruined by 3 drunk women behind us who shouted at each other the whole way through, swearing and generally being arses. After a while I realised that I knew one of them vaguely through work, so turned around and said hello to her (hoping that seeing me would embarrass her into shutting up) - I just got abuse from the women she was with.

Will be due to attend a meeting with her in the New Year. Would I be unreasonable to mention in front of people how she'd been???

I would contact the commissioning manager if you happen to know them or the team. Yes it was not an incident that happened on work time but she and friends or even worse work colleagues etc spoiled the performance for others and then you received abuse. I wonder how she treats her clients - the services you pay for?

I would wait and see if the penny drops when you see her, I would probably make a comment about it, even in a jokey way but that's me!

You could give her a chance to explain or apologise. If she was with her mates drunk and swearing maybe they all egged each other on.

It’d be different if this woman had been unpleasant to you in the past but this doesn’t seem like the case here.

That's so cringey - just call her out on it in private or met it go. Piss (pissed) poor behaviour

Sorry your night was spoiled OP. I hope you got to enjoy the parts when your DD was on stage.
You’d be well within your right to raise in private with this lady the impact their behaviour had on your night, but not in public. Plus you don’t know how she is going to react to your comments - she sounds pretty rude. I also wouldn’t mention to your colleagues- unfortunately her behaviour was in her personal time, not whilst at work so it’s of little relevance to work. If it was a work function or she was rude in work time that’s another matter..

In OP’s OP it says (unless I got it wrong) she got abuse from the women her work colleague was with not the colleague herself. Which is what I thought happened.

So you can’t police what friends say or do can you?!

i meant piss(ed) poor behaviour by woman, not OP

I wouldn't be able to not mention it at work because that's the sort of place I work. It's the same as we talk about the guy from the same industrial park who cannot drive and talk about what dangerous thing he did this week, or the time Kevin just lost his shit and threw his laptop at June. I think your idea of asking her if she enjoyed the Christmas performance and also mentioning it to the colleague that manages her contractual services are completely reasonable.

Most works have a clause about not publicly bringing the company into disrepute which she certainly did as you were there and presumably think less of her now (as I would). I'd be tempted to email her manager about it TBH, disgraceful behaviour.

Am not responding to people on this thread who will pile on this post because they just want the world to accommodate their shit drunken behaviour.

They sound vile but if you wanted to pull them up in public, then you should have done it there and then.

If her friend told you to fuck off and she didn’t stick up for you then I would pull her up in private or just avoid her/be very guarded around her.

Pulling her up in public at a later date, around people who weren’t there wouldn’t do any good and they don’t understand the issue and how bad her behaviour was.

If it was as bad as you describe, YABVVU to not insist the management remove them at the time.
Having allowed it to continue, it would be very unprofessional to bring it up at work.

It always dismays me when I read threads like this, people who hold such a grudge they want to humiliate the person, impact their job. For something like being a bit drunk and loud at a Xmas party. Just shows, you never know what’s going on behind someone’s eyes.

I get why you’re annoyed but you can’t confront or pull her up after the event. Tempting as it is
In work you can’t reenact a personal gripe, it’s unprofessional and you’ll potentially face a repercussion
work is work, personal is personal. Don't mix the two

Too late to address it! You should’ve complained at the venue at the time
and asked for them to be told to STFU or evicted!

I don't think op would get in trouble as the woman is not her colleague. She represents a company op contracts from. So she is the one who should be worried about losing the ops business for her company.

Well, you either say what you want to, clearly and directly, which given its a work meeting would be highly unprofessional and inappropriate of you; or you indulge in some passive aggressive vague hinting to try to shame her. Which is highly unlikely to bother her in the least. If she is the type to behave like that, I very much doubt she would be embarrassed by you hinting at her with a fake smile on your face. Her behavior was awful, but the window for challenging it is now closed. I dare say you've already told every mutual professional acquaintance, so that'll have to do.

That is ridiculous carry on for grown women. Why didn't whoever was organising the show throw them out. I see no problem with you saying something to her but she obviously doesn't embarrass easy if she thinks it's okay to be pissed and shouting at a childrens' show so I'd say you're wasting your time.

Are you the pissed woman or one of her friends. Why should she let it go? A grown adult pissed and shouting expletives at a childs concert is not a mistake - what kind of a disgusting person does that.
Op, ignore all the BS about how you would embarrass yourself by saying anything. I mostly wouldn't bother as it would clearly be a waste of time, anyone who would carry on like that wouldn't care what they say.

Do NOT do this. Really poor advice @socialdilemmawhattodo

I am not condoning her behaviour but it was not illegal or in work.

People are capable of doing a good job in work and being dicks in their own time

If it was that bad the theatre would have ejected them. Chill out

People are saying absolutely not. But I've seen people, via their business lose reputation and income because who they've been associated with. It's been because of similar behaviour, which has hit the news, even just local or put on FB. If it was care contracts for vulnerable people then yes, mention what's gone on in a "how's Christmas going/the kids, type of way. Likewise if professional registration is needed. If the women that she was with really spoiling for a fight, then she's potentially going to get dragged into at least a caution. They were drunk and disorderly. It might not have been a one off.

It might not have been a one off.

And equally it might. It has absolutely nothing to do with her work.

They weren’t just being a bit loud, they were being abusive and aggressive telling people to fuck off when asked to keep it down.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to pull her up in public after the event, because the colleagues weren’t there and aren’t involved.

But being an absolute push over and pretending like it never happened isn’t a good idea either.

If she’s forgotten about it, or doesn’t think she did anything wrong, then you bringing it up is not going to make the slightest bit of difference to her future behaviour and is only going to make you look extremely unprofessional, whether you bring it up privately or in front of others.

If she does remember and is mortified, then just seeing you will be enough to make her feel awful. You don’t need to say or do anything.

Realistically, the sort of people who shout ‘Motherfucker’ at a place where children are singing Jingle Bells, are not the sort of people who would react in an appropriate way at someone calling them out on it. Any response from you would only have the potential to backfire on you. It’s enough to know that she is not the sort of person you would want to form any sort of connections with beyond a professional relationship.

If she's going to do something about it she should raise it with the woman now, because bringing it up next year is really just going to come across as get over it/you must not have much going on in your life. The other woman has probably already forgotten it happened.

I went to The Lion King west end musical recently and it amazed me how many mothers were sitting there getting pissed. I guess it was the only way they could cope with their kids' endless questions. Concerning though, especially at 2pm.

You want to do this several weeks later, in a passive aggressive manner that will probably go right over her head anyway.

Why did you not speak to the venue about their behaviour and have the venue deal with it or ask them to leave? That would have been the timely and appropriate response. Any issues would have been the venues to deal with.