Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pull her up in "public" about this?

140 replies

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:22

Last night DD was in a Christmas show - big event, looking forward to it for months. Night was ruined by 3 drunk women behind us who shouted at each other the whole way through, swearing and generally being arses. After a while I realised that I knew one of them vaguely through work, so turned around and said hello to her (hoping that seeing me would embarrass her into shutting up) - I just got abuse from the women she was with.

Will be due to attend a meeting with her in the New Year. Would I be unreasonable to mention in front of people how she'd been???

OP posts:
PostmansKnock · 23/12/2023 08:49

But it's happened now, it's over. Asking her if she enjoyed it because she certainly seems to be or whatever it was isn't going to make any difference to that. And if she is a person who behaves like that what makes you think she's going to feel embarrassed or sorry?

She might just say 'no, I thought it was shit'.

Namechange4234 · 23/12/2023 08:49

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:47

Nope, just pissed off that a Christmas show was ruined by her and her friends screaming and swearing all through it. Other people asked them to be quiet, they just got told to fuck off. Getting someone to ask them to leave would have escalated it even more - one of the women was obviously up for a fight. This was more than just being Christmas drunk and enjoying selves.

Show quote history

Let
It
Go

🙄

Shouldershoulder · 23/12/2023 08:49

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:39

Would mentioning it in private to my colleague who manages the contract be out of order? As part of the general "how did your Christmas go?" conversation?

Christ , you seem determined to show this woman up at work. You should have said something at the time. Let it go fgs.

ClottedCreamScone · 23/12/2023 08:49

YABU. This would make you look insane to other people. It’s the kind of thing you have to address in the moment or not at all.

Vistada · 23/12/2023 08:50

Ah so you didn't speak to anyone in the theatre at the time then to get them to be asked to leave. Which would have been the grown up action to take (your reasoning is a cop out btw)

Instead you're preferring to be massively underhanded, sneaky and get her disciplined, again preferring not to take the adult, direct route of talking to her.

I'm really sorry, but you're coming across as hugely immature, spiteful and downright unkind

I hope if you do this which obviously you will, thar it backfires on you.

PostmansKnock · 23/12/2023 08:52

I'm really sorry, but you're coming across as hugely immature, spiteful and downright unkind

And unprofessional and mad.

Torganer · 23/12/2023 08:55

PostmansKnock · 23/12/2023 08:52

I'm really sorry, but you're coming across as hugely immature, spiteful and downright unkind

And unprofessional and mad.

Yes all of this.

What are you hoping for? You’re not going to get the concert back. You’re just being spiteful.

ElevenSeven · 23/12/2023 08:55

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 08:39

Would mentioning it in private to my colleague who manages the contract be out of order? As part of the general "how did your Christmas go?" conversation?

No, let it go! You’re just going to come across as batshit

Iouis · 23/12/2023 08:56

It's gossip. Some people like gossip some people don't. If you want to gossip about her and see how it goes crack on.

The person you should be mentioning it to is her, privately.

But it's happened now, kinda just let it go!

Namerequired · 23/12/2023 08:57

What is it you want to achieve by this? It has no relation to your work and yabu to bring it into it. Just speak to the woman one to one. You should have complained at the theatre. You are also blaming her for all of them.

Dotcheck · 23/12/2023 08:57

Why didn’t you just ask them to keep their voices down? Surely that would have been the ONLY option for dealing with this?

Why do you want to drag her work into it?
I’m not sure you are thinking this through. What, really do you suppose her colleague/ boss could do? THEY will just be uncomfortable. It would take very little for her to deny it. She would be believed because, after all, what kind of twat brings up something like this weeks later and at work?
Crazy

Rosenspants · 23/12/2023 08:59

A work setting isn’t the right place to address this so I don’t recommend that you try…..but I don’t blame you for being very upset. My DD works front of house. She says the escalation in drunken aggression in theatres is really awful and scary for the staff but it’s still expected that the FOH or even security will see it and deal with it. Not other audience members. So it’s partly a failure on behalf of the theatre.

WandaWonder · 23/12/2023 09:02

Are you hoping for a standing ovation? Them kneeling in front of you begging for your forgiveness?

What outcome do you want?

Viviennemary · 23/12/2023 09:02

The folk running it should have asked them to leave or behave themselves. You would be unwise to give this person a telling off.

Original poster
Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 09:04

Thanks all, will let it go. But, it has certainly shown me a different side to her which will be difficult to forget when dealing with her.

OP posts:
Tinkerbyebye · 23/12/2023 09:05

I would do it at the meeting but privately

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 23/12/2023 09:07

Getting someone to ask them to leave would have escalated it even more

So what? Better a few minutes of shouting while they were removed than ruining the whole show.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 23/12/2023 09:08

It sounds incredibly annoying and I can see it would be difficult to stop stewing over it.

But (as with so many things) the time to react was when it was happening. Someone should have called an usher, and she and her friends should have been booted out, but nobody did anything and so they continued to disrupt the show. You can't fix it now, and you will only make yourself look like a weirdo if you make cryptic comments at work or start a vendetta over it.

Brandyginger · 23/12/2023 09:10

I’m wondering what kind of services your company contracts from hers. If it is anything involving discretion or professionalism I would be struggling to get past her boorish behaviour in public. I know people are entitled to a private life but…swearing at people?!

AndThatWasNY · 23/12/2023 09:11

Namechange4234 · 23/12/2023 08:41

Oh
My
God

Let it go !

She made a mistake. Stop trying to get her into trouble. Are you 12?

Show quote history

She didn't make a mistake! She was an absolute dick.
However I still wouldn't raise it in a public meeting.

Brandyginger · 23/12/2023 09:12

And yes the behaviour should have been dealt with there and then by calling the usher and then the manager if necessary.

InSpainTheRain · 23/12/2023 09:14

I would not say anything - she will have a very different recollection and may not remember it. You will look unprofessional not her. If they were that bad you should have raised it to staff at the theatre.

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 23/12/2023 09:14

Auntieobem · 23/12/2023 09:04

Thanks all, will let it go. But, it has certainly shown me a different side to her which will be difficult to forget when dealing with her.

You are being very OTT. Let it go, sounds like a none issue considering that your first post states that you only knew one of them vaguely through work. Not sure what you are wanting to achieve to be honest….. show you have the upper hand? why not try and get her sacked. Ffs

EveryOtherNameTaken · 23/12/2023 09:15

You never know. She might approach you and apologise for her behaviour.

But don't raise it in a public meeting. You will look unprofessional. Just give a very direct look. She will get what you mean and hopefully be embarrassed without anyone else being bought into what was nothing to do with work.

ChristmasMerry · 23/12/2023 09:17

Namechange4234 · 23/12/2023 08:41

Oh
My
God

Let it go !

She made a mistake. Stop trying to get her into trouble. Are you 12?

Show quote history

@Auntieobem yoir colleague has found your thread and recognised herself and is panicking!

Swearing and telling others to fuck off is awful. I would absolutely smile at her and say so lovely to see you in the audience behind me last week, smile and stare for a second and walk off. I’d also add that I had filled the event accidentally on selfie mode, silly me.

Swipe left for the next trending thread