Do I have to do Christmas again nearly 70

[justasking111]

I'm just so tired, in pain from scoliosis and an arthritic hip. We're doing Christmas again so husband can womble off for a 💩 in his own home. He's obsessed with having a dump in his own home post a uber large lunch. My offspring think it's wonderful they don't have to cook. I'm so tired, in pain and so much still to do. I'd love to jet away to be honest. Should I just suck it up.

Am I understanding right that your DH does all the cooking? You just have to sit with your family? Just tell them they're welcome to get their own drinks and sit down.

You've made unnecessary work cleaning every room and decorating.

And you can't just dictate to your sons wife that she's doing Christmas becuase she doesn't work.

Outrageous that the younger generation haven’t stepped up. We’re hosting it’s expensive and knackering but like hell would I let my 70 something parents do it.

You will get those Christmas attendees who announce that their elderly mum “loves” hosting and waiting on strapping 40 somethings 🙄

But you've told your DIL she has to! Can't you see the double standard of you dictating to her like your DH dictates to you?

Hmm I can't believe this thread. If he only lives five minutes away why on earth doesn't he just go home and come back? Why do you have to go with him?

And why can't you all share Christmas catering with some doing lunch and others doing the evening, etc?

Ummm... I do it and am a similar age.

BUT, one DD has made (and is making) endless wonderful biscuits, cookies and puddings to bring home. One does all the packing away in dishwasher, washing up pots and pans, all clearing up. One faffs about making delicious canapes and does the gravy. We all muck in

I'm not on my own with it and I don't wait on them in any way!

OP, I am going to suggest you give serious consideration to leaving your husband and his revolting-sounding toilet obsessions in the new year.

Am aghast at your DH needing you to back with him to your house 5 minutes away for a poo! What!

Again I think you are being ageist. I am the same age as OP and yes WE are able to host anytime. However, we will be going to spend Christmas with our children and grandchildren. SIL will be cooking the whole meal.

It’s fine to just not be the hostess with the mostess, you know.

If DH complains, remind him he’s invited everyone, you’re in pain, and you can’t do whatever it is. Sit down.

The world won’t end. Christmas will happen. Other adults will have to do the grunt work.

If your DH can insist on his own way because of a toilet phobia, you are certainly more than entitled to insist on pacing yourself and not being in pain.

Anyone who moans at you is a selfish arse and you should tell them so.

Oh come on it's been 10 years she's an all singing dancing kitchen a cleaner

So if your daughters in law can say no why can't you?

Why do you do as you are told by your DH? If he will only poo in his own home and you are at another house 5 minutes away, let him go. I think you need to have a family meeting and say that you're in pain, you're older and you just can't do it anymore. Stop and imagine if this set of circumstances wasn't yours but a dear friend was telling you about them. What would you tell them to do? You really need to stand up for yourself, not give in to your husband. Also you're adult children won't realise you're struggling unless you tell them. I'm not that much younger than you and there are lots of things I can't do that I used to. Others need to step up now.

They come to your house and do the cleaning on, say 23 December. Then they come to your house and do all the cooking while you put your feet up.

Your husband is a selfish arse but I'm guessing you know that.

Bit to late for this year but book a few days away next year.

I agree.

I would put up with this once if suddenly my DH had an upset stomach and we had to go home because he was ill. Apart from that, no, not ever. I am not interested in anyone's toilet arrangements, they are private, and should not be affecting my day. I don't want to know

You have no idea of the spasms scoliosis cause. I seriously cannot move when the nerves are trapped. I do physiotherapist and consultant but there's a limit

Oh OP. You were doing SO well with this thread until this point. It was almost believable!

THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND AND SONS!!!

Your SON has all singing dancing kitchen and cleaner too then?

Well tell your husband and your sons!! Do they now know that? Or are they all so selfish that they don't care?

She's tried telling her husband as per a previous thread - he doesn't give a shit

So go out and leave him to it.

Well, he does, but it has to be in his own home.

But this is illness not age! I feel very sorry for you but you are putting up with too much from your husband. He doesn’t get to be the boss of you. When we are asked to look after our grandchildren we discuss with each other before replying and my husband always does his share.

Yep.