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Original poster

Do I have to do Christmas again nearly 70

450 replies

justasking111 · 22/12/2023 12:44

I'm just so tired, in pain from scoliosis and an arthritic hip. We're doing Christmas again so husband can womble off for a 💩 in his own home. He's obsessed with having a dump in his own home post a uber large lunch. My offspring think it's wonderful they don't have to cook. I'm so tired, in pain and so much still to do. I'd love to jet away to be honest. Should I just suck it up.

OP posts:
trytopullyoursocksup · 23/12/2023 09:58

this might be the push I need to finally leave mn forever. Thanks, OP

Grimpo · 23/12/2023 10:01

justasking111 · 22/12/2023 13:57

We all live within five minutes walking distance
I did suggest that he could walk home 💩 in peace and come back. He flipped, expecting me to return with him.

At friends houses he insists we leave when his bowels start rumbling

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What would happen if you refused to go with him? You should ask him in front of everyone else why he needs company when he shits.

Grimpo · 23/12/2023 10:03

justasking111 · 22/12/2023 14:00

Sons phone can you have the kids if I say no for some reason he phones back says yes. Will collect them from school then abdicates responsibility. Infuriating

Show quote history

If he does this, you should take yourself out for a couple of hours and leave him completely in charge.

Grimpo · 23/12/2023 10:06

Sounds like you should think seriously about separating. Imagine the bliss of not being in thrall to your husband's weird toilet obsessions and having a peaceful Christmas next year!

diddl · 23/12/2023 11:48

I am imagining this joyless ensemble of adults sitting around a resentfully cooked dinner while all anyone can think is "Well, he'll be off for his shit soon"

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Therealjudgejudy · 23/12/2023 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OhGoOnThenIfYouInsist · 23/12/2023 13:00

🎵 Have yourself a Merry little Shitmas
May his bowels be light
From 1pm on his turds will be out of sight...
Have yourself a Merry little Shitmas
Make the toilet stain
From 1pm on his logs will be miles away....🎵

JoyeuxNarwhal · 23/12/2023 14:09

OhGoOnThenIfYouInsist · 23/12/2023 13:00

🎵 Have yourself a Merry little Shitmas
May his bowels be light
From 1pm on his turds will be out of sight...
Have yourself a Merry little Shitmas
Make the toilet stain
From 1pm on his logs will be miles away....🎵

Xmas Grin
BoredofBlonde · 23/12/2023 14:14

@InnerCityInnerCity posts like yours remind me so often why I am happily divorced

Mary46 · 23/12/2023 14:32

Too funny diddl! Op suggest they all pitch in and bring a dish. I do think if we keep doing it they keep taking! Its not nice your right its big workload

ilovesooty · 23/12/2023 14:37

I don't understand why people are accusing an established poster of trolling, or why people think this thread is funny.

PotatoAloo · 23/12/2023 14:42

In the nicest possible way, OP, literally nobody can help you if you won't help yourself.

AcrossthePond55 · 23/12/2023 14:52

ilovesooty · 23/12/2023 14:37

I don't understand why people are accusing an established poster of trolling, or why people think this thread is funny.

I'm afraid I must agree. I'm sure OP wrote it in moments of frustration, stress, and despair. Many of us 'in her age range' wish devoutly that one of our progeny would take on the Christmas entertaining 'burden'. I'm lucky in that DS2, who is living back at home for now, is shouldering a good 80% of the cooking and that DH cheerfully pitches in with 'non food' things. I don't know if I'd be up to the whole dinner on my own. Ours is not a 'simple roast dinner' and requires a great deal of prep.

Yes, we could say "I'm done" and throw up our hands. But that's not always so easy to do.

@justasking111 I hope you find peace and the strength to stand up for yourself to your frankly abusive husband. Because it's not just the work needed for Christmas dinner, is it? It's the decades you've spent catering to him and denying yourself. Make a resolution that 2024 won't be a repeat of past years. I don't know what that would mean to you, but it would be bound to be better than 2023 (and all the past years).

thinslicedham · 23/12/2023 14:53

No-one is forcing this. You'll have to stand up for what you want and refuse to back down and do things his way, or you'll never get your way in life, if you have someone who tends to boss you. There are alternatives, but you have to insist (and this year may be too late for some options). Option 1: Your husband has to learn to poo in someone else's house, or he can drive himself home and back again. Option 2: You invite family over to help clean and decorate, and everyone pitches in on the food prep or brings finished food from home. Option 3: Family bring food for a buffet meal, and you don't bother decorating any more than you feel like. If they don't like it, DH can clean/decorate or someone else can host.

You have to ask or insist that things change.

Hamsterinaball · 23/12/2023 15:07

Biggest male entitlement I've ever read and I have read some lol!!!

Nanny0gg · 23/12/2023 15:09

justasking111 · 22/12/2023 13:02

No OH does cook but the tada stuff, game pies, salmon terrines, he took the Christmas cake off me when he retired. But not the icing, decorating. He likes the applause. Cooks enough for three families and divies up the game terrine and game pie. Then cooks Christmas lunch while I'm just the kitchen porter .

I just want my 40 plus aged kids to step up and entertain. At 22 I had 14 around our table at Xmas I hadn't even had my first child. But God I had more energy then

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There's nothing to stop you delegating it to everyone else and you stay sat down.

Are there grandchildren you can entertain?

Berealstic · 23/12/2023 17:35

Not really. It's not that mandatory

angela1952 · 23/12/2023 17:47

I'm a bit older than you, four AC, four GC. We're never all together at Christmas now, everyone has their own lives. Two of the children plus two GC are coming and I'm cooking which is fine, but we've cut back a lot on the present deluge which reduces a lot of the work. It sounds as though standing for a long time is painful for you so it really isn't fair that you do all the work, husbands bowel movements should be discounted, he is a grown up after all.
Just say you won't do it next year.

jrc1071 · 23/12/2023 18:04

No, you do not need to do Christmas ever again. I’m 52, I have a relatively young child, and I stopped doing it. I cannot manage it between my other commitments including working full-time.

If your kids want a full blown Christmas, they’re welcome to do it themselves and invite you over so that you can just do nothing but rest.

ITryHarder · 23/12/2023 18:14

NO! Depending on how close it is to Christmas, you might just do it 'this one more time'. Your kids, as many do, might assume that you want to host Christmas. My mother did even when others would have gladly taken it on. But you have to tell them you're tired of it, and would look forward to others having you as a guest. And stick to it. If no one else volunteers, then Christmas as usual doesn't happen.

Bessy52 · 23/12/2023 18:16

When I reached 50 my children began hosting Xmas for me. I’m now 71 and look forward to the festive season. I simply don’t understand why adult children expect to be catered for.

ActDottie · 23/12/2023 18:19

Probably too late this year but can you not have it at your home but others help cook? Just because it’s your home doesn’t mean you have to cook particularly when it’s family.

Danielle9891 · 23/12/2023 18:25

Can you not split all the work between your family. I'm going to my mother in law's and I'm bringing pigs in blankets, roasties and braised beef and my partners aunty is doing the desserts. My mother in law is making her stuffing, pealing the carrots and parsnips and cooking the turkey the day before to help her on the day. We all chip in, it's too much for one person. My partner and father in law will be doing all the washing up.

starsparkle08 · 23/12/2023 19:12

Don’t do it . You should only offer if you want too not so your hubby can poop in his own toilet

Missmousie · 23/12/2023 19:12

Does your DH have some reason for this ( like IBS ) very strange an(nu)al ritual ?
If not, next year that loo is going to be mysteriously out of action over Christmas , you'll be away in a 5 star resort and the kids can cope with their dad . This will have to be put to them all forcefully this year of course.