Feel sick at how much I've spent on Xmas

[MaryQueenofKnots]

Just feel like it's a ludicrous amount and I don't have the money. I feel like a sort of panic sets in every year and I just massively overbuy. Ridiculous. We have enough stuff, now I'm going to be skint for ages. Does anyone else just feel really uneasy with the Christmas excess? I'm a lone parent and worry that I overcompensate at times.

It is as though the nation turn into brainwashed zombies in the run up to Christmas. I was in Sainsbury’s last week. I stood back and watched just how comical (and quite sad really) how everyone looked. They were grabbing stuff off the shelves as though their lives depended on it. Buying crap for others they probably don’t even want and vice versa.
When you step back and observe, it really is crazy.

Nonsense. He's getting what he wants and will learn to budget with what he has. He's getting treated like someone who will be responsible with their money. Much better than mummy buying him gifts he doesn't want.

Not the money, because that’s all budgeted for, but I have low to medium level anxiety about where all the kids presents are going to fit.

It usually peaks on Christmas Day and I have to lock myself in the loo to cry for a bit, before ordering more storage boxes from Amazon.

Nope we only spend what we can afford. Why put everything in jeopardy the next few months by over spending. I'm sure our kids appreciate a warm house most of all.

Just return the latest unplanned buys! At that age you're going to be overloading them with options giving them all those things at once anyway. They're old enough to pick up on your stress and anxiety so it's really counterproductive to ruin months to come just for the sake of 5 minutes present opening excitement.

If you don't have the money can you return some things. Have a look at exactly what you have bought and think about whether they need it or not. Obviously it's not all about "needing" at Christmas because you want to treat them. But, for example, you could return the board games and switch games if you bought them new. If they came from the charity shop I'd put them away and give them to them for birthdays. If they don't need the new pyjamas right now either return them or put them away in the cupboard until they do need them - it will be a nice treat for them at any time of the year to get new pyjamas.

What you could also do for next year is set a budget of how much you can afford, divide it by 12, and move that amount into a savings account each month. Then next year in December the amount in the savings account is how much you have to spend and that's it.

I don't think children need piles of stuff at Christmas. They can have a wonderful time without loads of stuff. I like your idea of giving them the theme park and zoo experiences for Christmas.

Im a single parent too and panicking about paying the bills in January. I decided to take back some games consoles to Game this week and cried in the shop when the assistant said they don’t give refunds only exchange 😢

@horseyhorsey17 that's really interesting as I have ADHD and I have always had a problem with spending. I can't save unless I know I need to.
@Slitheringheights I hope you have an absolute belter of a Christmas! You deserve it xx

Could you sell anything locally for cost price? I bought a wearable blanket that wasn't quite right and I resold it for the price I paid. Easier for the buyer than trekking out to Costco to get it. Win win.
Especially so close to Christmas people might be able to pick up something locally than go to a shop, esp as too late for delivery now?

@user14699084786 in case you are looking for ways to give money transfers - my ds usually wants very practical presents like a year of nhs prescriptions (he's an adult) or money. Last year I used an online template to make bank notes with his face on and printed them out (and also did a transfer). It came out really well.

There are lots of highly educated, highly paid people working to convince us to buy things and the pressure ramps up at this time of year. They prey on our insecurities and sell a subtle message that family harmony, home, friendship, love, peace etc can be yours if you buy this thing. Try counting up the number of ads of be sort or another that you encounter every day - and then consider the cumulative effect of insidious peer pressure that comes from just chatting about Christmas in real life or online.

For many of us it is also a very busy and stressful time which makes it that much harder to be level headed and consistent in our judgement. even if you do nothing extra it still takes longer to get anywhere by road, to find a parking spot ,to get around the grocery store, and queue for shopping. . Our bills are higher when the house is cold and it’s dark outside. If our spending patterns were driven by common sense we’d take our annual holidays now instead of abandoning our own country at its best in the summer. But we’re locked into marketing patterns designed to keep us in a cycle of earning and spending .

It’s not just you op. I’m very glad for your sake that it will just mean a difference in discretionary spending in January. But it’s not ok that people get into serious financial difficulties. After the marketing parasites are done, the loan sharks come circling. It’s reprehensible.

Yes it's really expensive. I feel the same. I have 2 birthdays in the first week of Jan too so by then I'm just really fed up with spending money.

I always say that I should spread it out over the months, but I never do.

I don't think I've bought excessively but there is an awful lot of needless spend.

Lone parent here too. I understand that you don’t want them to go without but you and them are old enough to learn what are the priorities in life. Christmas is not one of them, priorities tend to be more like the rent, the grocery shop, clothes that keep them warm and the like.

There may not be much you can do about the amount you spent but I would say try to return some of the stuff, they don’t need an”experience” each and pijamas only if they don’t have any.

For next year, save £20 a month for Christmas so you can have something nice without paying for it in January.

And also, if kids are demanding much, make sure you introduce to them, with age appropriate language, that you have a single income and you need to make it last to the end of the month. They need to be aware of the situation so they can become your team. It is not about stressing them out though, just to make them aware what money goes to (Monopoly money is great to explain how you spend it, just don’t give them exact figures or tell them your salary because they will tell EVERYONE ).

I was feeling pretty good about our expenditure until yesterday when I did the big food shop. Nearly €400 on a single cart load of food for a week for seven people. That didn’t even include alcohol. 😱 We can afford it—wouldn’t buy it if we couldn’t—but the prices these days still knock the wind out of me.

I really feel for people struggling to make ends meet at this time of year, you just get so much less for your money these days.

It can be a crazy time of year money wise if you buy into it all.

I suspect, as you say, you've spent money to compensate on other things you feel your kids are missing out on. When actually, the best Christmas's are nothing to do with expensive things.

It's about family, relaxation, time for eachother, laughs and yummy food. One main present each with a stocking and a few extras is more than plenty for Christmas.

We really don't need Xmas eve boxes, multiple main presents, Xmas PJ's, Xmas outfits, multiple trips to Santa/pantos/ice skating etc. All that stuff is extra that really doesn't add to Christmas.

Look, you've spent the money now, enjoy it (if it's too late to take back) and have a deep think about what you want Xmas to be like next year. Scale it back. Let your kids know next Christmas is about games and fun.

Humbleness and smaller expectations lead to happier humans.

Merry Christmas, try to enjoy it :)

Sort out a budget for January, going forward, and stick to it. Start afresh. You'll feel better then.

If you need help with managing a budget, or renegotiate debts for you, try somewhere like Stepchange for advice.

Sending you a big massive hug 💐

Don't know how old you are but £200 now is the same as £85 in 1990 so not a crazy amount. I remember my Nan slipping £20 in a card - that would be about £50 now!!

I think it's hard with Christmas because it's stockings as well so it's hard to stick to a really tight budget. If you only get a few bots it doesn't look like much.

Next year its worth setting aside £40 each month rather than spending it all in December.

I usually save all year for Christmas but this year I had a couple of unexpected big things to pay for so had to use my Christmas savings. I have tried to be sensible and only buy the minimum but still feel I have over spent. My dc are older teens so I don’t know why I still worry and feel guilty that I haven’t bought them enough, they are old enough to understand and haven’t even asked for anything. I think many of us feel stressed over money at Christmas, this year seems even tougher with the cost of living.

If you really do feel sick about how much you’ve spent could you return a few presents?
I remember reading a Martin Lewis article about buying DC the thing they really want, a couple of small surprises and try and resist all the inbetween stuff.

In the past I have taken stuff back to the shop - I started early to be organised but I just bought too much. I don’t buy gifts anymore, waste of time and resources

Have got my kids quite a lot but none of it is hugely expensive and most of it was discounted or from Lidl etc At the end of the day they like opening presents but I'm not spending a fortune on things they might look at once. To be fair their advent calendars have been a huge hit and they have spend a lot of time playing with them. Rest of the family I don't spend a lot on, my parents I have bought things they will like but it's not like they need anything as they buy it themselves. Other half same he will buy what he wants so just got him a few bits and bobs.

Hi OP is your in the south east I can suggest some cheap days out if your low income. ZSL zoos, hampton Court etc all discounted tickets if you get universal credit.

Walks, bike rides, baking etc it doesn't have to be expensive after Xmas.

This post actually made me tear up! But yes agreed, Merry Christmas!