Feel sick at how much I've spent on Xmas

[MaryQueenofKnots]

Just feel like it's a ludicrous amount and I don't have the money. I feel like a sort of panic sets in every year and I just massively overbuy. Ridiculous. We have enough stuff, now I'm going to be skint for ages. Does anyone else just feel really uneasy with the Christmas excess? I'm a lone parent and worry that I overcompensate at times.

It soon snowballs. Next year perhaps you can try and get bits and bobs throughout the year. I often get a fair amount in the January sales, Black Friday etc to save money. I hope you have a lovely Christmas!

I agree that a cash gift is much more appropriate for a teenager/young adult who reallly doesn't want anything ... absolutely no point in just buying 'stuff' for the sake of it.
I've always stuck to modest gifts ... my DS has never even asked for an extravagant gift, the one year he was interested in a PlayStation (a few years ago ... are they even still in fashion?) .. we suggested he paid half towards it which he did. We could have afforded to buy it, yet so many DC get expensive 'tech' that they soon lose interest in. We preferred to put money aside for his future.
He has never indicated that he is 'disappointed' with the value of gifts he received, and we never go overdrawn or into the New Year with debt.
Christmas is only as commercial as you want it .. concentrate on what really matters.

I've been selling books and unwanted items, including electronic things, on local marketplace pages for the past couple of months which has made a big difference. And I'm planning to take my teens out to shop the sales after Christmas as their Christmas money will go farther.

I save all year for Xmas so this doesn't happen. I also try and pick bits up through the year and put aside. This has worked well for me this year. I used to be terrible for this and using credit cards etc. I can't do it anymore as lone parent with a large mortgage on a low income.

Just return the extra stuff you bought, the switch game/board games etc

Just don’t do it.

Im not a religious person but try to find the joy in other things at Christmas - being with friends / family, cosy nights in, nice food, carol singing.

A wee bit can go a long way.

Financial misery is not worth it for 1 day.

Why don’t you suggest secret Santa?

27 is crazy! For many years now in our family we’ve bought presents for the children only and do secret Santa for the adults - budget £20ish . We then decide on a charity to donate any extra money we would have spent on presents (only what people can afford). Much better than loads of presents people potentially don’t really want or need, better for the planet too and takes stress out of buying loads of presents. Why don’t you float the secret Santa idea - others may be grateful that you have.

This is a good idea

Yep totally the same.

every single year….

cheap dinners for all of January and a missed bill I’m sure but it is what it is what’s done is done and we can’t change it x

enjoy your Christmas x

@mn29 love this idea I’m going to suggest it to the adults in our family.

merry Christmas x

Personally I don’t agree with the term January blues and I think you should re think it.

It’s December and Christmas and society’s ludicrous depiction of what it should be (so you spend money) - that is the real “blues”

january signals the end of this ridiculous months long festival of shite. January is fantastic. December and Christmas is blues.

Op - I think that sounds like a lovely set of presents. You have said you are not getting into debt for them, and if you think they will love and appreciate every single one, then it is not too much.

Enjoy their reactions, and look forward to a cheap January at home playing their board games, and their switch game with them, and planning your trip to the theme park/zoo.

(I think some people take the "avoiding excess" to the extremes of tightness. There is nothing wrong with being generous. The people who are the first to turn up their nose at what they see as "over the top" presents often don't think twice at spending thousands on themselves on holidays etc. Who are they to say that kids getting a day at theme park is excessive?)

I know what you mean op but this is why I put money aside each week so I can spend with a clear conscience.

It's too late now. It's done. Next year decide what you are spending and do a list and stick to it. I wouldn't return anything. Just start afresh and try to reign in your spending.

I think this is a lovely way to go about it, especially communicating with them and letting them have their choice. Mine chose to choose their own as they need things when we discussed similar. Both ways are respectful and as you say, you'd be buying that stuff anyway.

quoet January for everyone . They have nee toys and game to play with just have popcorn and movie days in their new Jammies.

Everyine knuckles down in January but you also have tickets for fun stuff. .

Honestky though I nearly went away for Xmas this year and I think I willl next year rather ditch the presents and spend it on memories

I budget £100 each and aim to get ten presents . So ds has a new switch game £30, 4 books (second hand and new) £15 a new board game £20 bath bombs £20 and then about £20 on chocs, sweets a few smaller openers (slightly over £100 but some bits I got in food shop) but he also gets gifts from his aunties and grandparents. Btw he loves all the things he is getting.

Dds are older dd1 and ask for concealer, £20 a record for her record player, £30 heated slipper £15, Gin £12 , a mug £8. Then again around £20 on chocs, sweets etc.

Dd2 asked for £50 cash, bra£20, face cream £20 then £20 on bits to open. (She will have less due to the cash)

I keep a list and tick it all off as I go.

Can you return any of the gifts. Never overspend at Xmas because the stress you will feel will be far worse than having DC with fewer gifts.

I do this every year too. It is mainly because of my dc. I worry they won’t have as much as their friends, some of their friends are spoilt rotten.
Each year their (especially dd15’s) list becomes more and more expensive. She had added some really expensive hoodies/sweatshirts on her list but I refuse to spend £150 on some sweatshop hoodie which is marked up at that ridiculous price just because it happens to be trendy amongst her age group. She will probably get money from other family members so can purchase one herself.

Ds18 has had his present early this year (a socket set worth £200), he’s just asked me what else is he getting for Xmas ffs!

I save for their presents throughout the year and have around £150 each to spend but then each year the amount I’ve saved doesn’t seem enough, everything is so bloody expensive.

I have had this problem for years, one thing that helped me was writing the thoughts down in a note to self for next Christmas. Also write down thoughts on Christmas Day and after - e.g. food wastage, presents given that weren't needed, what peoples favourite moments were. You will find a lot of the magic isn't in what you spent - our favorite memories are looking at the street lights in our village, making gingerbread biscuits together, playing a family game.

My kids don't remember all the gifts they got but they talk about the chocolates and the one big or special gift. Everything in between is forgotten the year after.

Another thing I did last year was set the budget for this year back then when I worked out how much I really need to spend. And then I saved up each month towards it.

I'm still heading out for my third supermarket trip in two days in case I've missed something though 🤣

Just got back from Christmas food shop - supermarket rammed at 10.00am - town roads rammed on the way back - just got what we needed for the week - 3 of us adults for Christmas Dinner & boxing day no frills. People are piling their trolleys like we were facing the end of world - I wonder how much of the food they buy goes to waste and has to be thrown away ? Waste of money & food.
I have decided against Christmas crackers this year - a decent pack of 6 with decent prizes -£15-25 depending on where you buy.

Well in advance of next Christmas, decide to be modest, and explain to your children why, and the benefits they will get indirectly as a result. I think they are old enough to be aware of those who have less than others, however unreasonable it is.

The comment about things they would get anyway seems sensible too.

While I'll buy my DC presents if there's something they'd like/need there's never been a time I've overspent to the extent I'd worry about it...

Growing up I've always had the thought that Christmas is said to be a celebration of Christ's birthday so whilst I buy a few presents to celebrate the traditional way and enjoy the celebrations of decorations/family dinner/nibbles/tubs of chocolates and all that go with it going all out on a person's birthday that isn’t a family member seems a bit strange.

Banter and the fun of a day spent together makes for some wonderful memories.

If you want to treat your kids could you make up extra money after Christmas by doing something like offering babysitting or Amazon flex?