Feel sick at how much I've spent on Xmas

[MaryQueenofKnots]

Just feel like it's a ludicrous amount and I don't have the money. I feel like a sort of panic sets in every year and I just massively overbuy. Ridiculous. We have enough stuff, now I'm going to be skint for ages. Does anyone else just feel really uneasy with the Christmas excess? I'm a lone parent and worry that I overcompensate at times.

So you’ll just have to have a quiet January but you can pay your bills? That’s not really too bad. Remember for next year.

It must be difficult if struggling with finances to push back against the commercialism of Christmas and not spend as much as the advertisers try and persuade you to.

We don't overspend at Christmas. Never have. I think a lot of this is down to not living very near a major shopping centre and also not enjoying shopping.

With online becoming more of a thing I do think I spend more now, but I'm no where near overspending.

Do you enjoy shopping OP?

I feel this OP. We regularly feel like we’ve done within our means and everyone had one or two lovely, usually specific or personal gifts and they when we wrap and sort it all out doesn’t look enough, so then we go and panic buy more things do it looks like everyone has more.
it’s stupid but I also know his family are very materialistic so I let him get on with with, and I only have my mum to worry about so not really an issue for me!

i daren’t even look at my bank list or I’ll cry.

Don't beat yourself up OP. Save some for birthdays, maybe return some of it, or not.
Your children will remember the moments, the atmosphere, the fun and how present and happy you all are, not necessarily the presents. Enjoy Christmas and giving them what money can't buy.

Does anyone else just feel really uneasy with the Christmas excess

Yes, so I don't take part in it.

I'm a high earner, but every year spend about £150 on my husband, and £30 on each of my parents.
I don't have kids, so I guess get to remove myself from the 'keeping up with the Joneses' mentality.

How old are your kids OP? Surely you can buy acres of tat for them for about £50 in B&M Homestores? What have you bought?

Just read the update on what you bought.
I guess an experience each at those ages is a bit over the top. Surely one nice day out for the 3 of you would have been enough.
You've not got into debt for it at least.

I felt like that last year. This year I really kept that in mind and made myself a proper budget. If you can return any of the "extras" you got after payday, it might be worth doing that. Otherwise, hold onto the memory for next year. It's easy to get caught up in Christmas.

It is a bit isn’t it!

He really can’t name anything he’d like. He hates shopping with a passion, but just seems utterly pointless buying “stuff” for the sake of buying a Christmas present!
But as i say, we just buy things as and when, so don't feel too sorry for him! 😀

£400 doesn't sound unreasonable, as long as you aren't going into debt to do it. I mean, zoo tickets alone could take up half a quarter of that budget, the theme park another quarter.

I would suggest that from January you start a savings acct. I save £60 a month and so I usually have a decent amount to spend. I have teens and almost teens so they tend to want more expensive stuff. The downshot of that is their gift pile will look dinky but they get what they asked for so I'm sure they will be happy.

I often do this! I tend to panic but at Christmas, then realise I’ve overdone it once I start trying to wrap it all! So I set some aside for birthdays and then there’s one less thing to think about later in the year. (Would be easier not to panic at Christmas and buy more sensibly, but hey ho it all works out in the end 😂)

Is there a reason you cannot go and return the items you bought recently such as extras you describe? Surely they aren’t opened yet as it isn’t Christmas yet?

So go through and pull out the excess and give it them for birthdays. That will save you money later in the year.

Have you over brought on food too or just presents for the kids?

Hi @MaryQueenofKnots

Sounds like you really can’t afford it if no credit card will take you! It’s not a bad thing for children to know that their parents are on a tight budget - that is how I grew up.

If I may make suggestions (feel free to ignore) you can get great presents off vinted for your own kids (toys, clothes), and maybe a nice day out like a visit to see Santa at your local shops.

You didn’t need to give them 2 tickets to an expensive experience each, and they don’t need a Nintendo switch.

It does sound like you are overcompensating, which unfortunately lone parents are prone to want to do.

Yes I might put some aside for birthdays. It's hard as they very well might find it!

There's still time to return stuff. Do it today or just don't wrap some things, do t tell them and return unopened straight after Christmas.

Well, at least the cupboard food won’t go off. You’ll be able to use it all up eventually - it won’t be wasted.

@Bananabreadandstrawberries I haven't bought them a switch I bought them a £20 game for the switch

Hi op, I was about to suggest what some pp’s have said to keep some of the gifts for birthdays. Perhaps the switch games etc as that will help x

I did this and I took a look at all the presents and put three back for each of them for their birthdays as I had panicked and got far more than they needed, or would actually be able to process on the day

I hear you OP...it's incredibly difficult not to get caught up in it all. And then the guilt creeps in that I haven't got enough...then I stress about the cost and then feel guilty for that as I'm grateful I have people to buy for...and it's just a vicious cycle!!

I've just counted how many people we buy for...27...and my husband and I don't usually exchange gifts as we can't afford it! I'm super grateful for having all of these wonderful people to exchange gifts with. But I'd also be super grateful if within some groups someone would suggest a secret Santa!

It's tricky when maybe it doesn't need to be!!

I have done this in the past as well. Could you do a present audit OP and see if there is something you can hold back?

I overcompensate too. I am the only child of an only child. All grandparent deceased. No aunts/uncles/cousins - just us. So I almost buy gifts from imagined relatives to try and make it up to them. DDog is always very excessive with her shopping.... 🤦🏻‍♀️

This is why I've grown to loathe Christmas. It's just a festival of competitive spending.

I'm lucky because I don't have kids so can just opt out of the spend spend spend. I understand the pressure must be awful to spend more than you're comfortable with if you have children.

It's so bloody sad

So firstly you haven't gone into debt so thats a really good thing. And you can still pay your bills. So it's not panic stations.

It also doesn't sound like you actually bought a lot of stuff, surely the bulk of the cost is the tickets.

Although not sure how it will work with only two tickets though, what is going to happen to the other child whilst you take them to the zoo/theme park? Perhaps could have saved money by buying three tickets for one place that you will all do together.

Why don't you suggest it next time? Honestly, it'll be liberating

I do the exact same thing OP! I don't know why, prob an ADHD thing to some extent. Somehow I am still in credit but only just! Kick myself every year - and then do the same thing next year. I do have a massive family though.