Feel sick at how much I've spent on Xmas

[MaryQueenofKnots]

Just feel like it's a ludicrous amount and I don't have the money. I feel like a sort of panic sets in every year and I just massively overbuy. Ridiculous. We have enough stuff, now I'm going to be skint for ages. Does anyone else just feel really uneasy with the Christmas excess? I'm a lone parent and worry that I overcompensate at times.

I don't feel uneasy because I don't spend more than I can afford. I think it's best not to look at what everyone else is doing and stick with what works best for you.

Yes all I can hear is ching ching ching. It’s been relentless spending here even though I’ve tried to be cautious and sensible with what I buy.

Yes I panic buy too and know I will regret

@qnwlap I'm not influenced by trying to keep up with others, it's more worry that my kids will be disappointed

Well you already know you have spent too much again and are in a panic.Can you return any of it? Can you pay your bills ?How much debt do you have is your spending out of control if so you need help now.Make a plan to control this spending as your stress levels will make you ill.You can do this,good luck.

Well at least you are all admitting you have a problem

I’m the opposite this year, I’ve tried very hard to stick to a budget (lone parent) and the presents I’ve got look absolutely measly. Normally I start buying in September and get lots of thoughtful and needed items. I just haven’t been able to afford to and now I feel like my lovely DC will be disappointed. And what I have spent doesn’t look like much.

Can you afford what you've spent?

If so, nothing to worry about.

If you will struggle to pay bills next month then actually you should see if you can return some.gifts.

I only spend what I can afford personally. I wouldn't be comfortable with using a credit card for example. We don't go without, I'm just naturally careful (not tight) with money and have always been a good saver, so I just dip into that if required. I'm not a high earner but live pretty frugally (9 year old car, holidays in UK/Ireland).

I've seen young cousins who were spoilt with money and had crazy amount of gifts for birthdays and christmases and to be honest, they've turned out to be ungrateful little shits. Other cousins who weren't spoilt are the loveliest children who aren't entitled like the other lot.

The money is spent now so try to enjoy Christmas and the things you have bought. Don't beat yourself up - we live in a society that is set up to make us spend money we haven't got and we all fall for it sometimes.

Next year is a new year - can you decide how much you can afford to save each month for Christmas, put that away, and then stick to that budget next year?

Christmas is about spending time together with a few presents surely? If they are disappointed because they have 6 presents each instead of 15 then that's for you to teach them the value of Christmas.

How old are they out of interest?

@Fantina I'm like you & have stuck to budget. This year I've gone for smaller presents but more of them. No brands but decent quality. Bulked out with fun things and chocolate for DS. There is definitely an art to getting it right.

I feel its all become a bit much!
Our teenage boy couldn’t think of anything he wanted, so it’ll just be a bank transfer…which seems a bit, i don’t know, thoughtless? But he really can’t think of anything he wanted.
I have bought a few stocking bits, sweets, socks, smellies, but we are fortunate that we can buy what we want when we want, so why do i feel guilty that he’s not got a pile of (unwanted) presents. Madness.

OP if youre going to struggle to pay bills in January see if it’s possible to return some gifts?

@MintJulia I think the problem is that money isn’t going far at all these days. So I’ve still spent a reasonable amount but it doesn’t look like it and there’s no big ticket items this year because they are just out of reach.

My means has varied over the course of my life, but I have always lived within my means, so the answer to your question is no. If you are aware that you have spent more than you can afford, then you need to see of you can return anything?

I can pay my bills but it's more money for nice things to beat the January blues. My kids are 6 and 8 and they are just such lovely kids. I just wanted to treat them a bit.
Started off well with a few things from the charity shop and eBay and the plan was that they were going to have an experience each, so one got two tickets to the zoo and one got two tickets to a theme park. That was going to be it. In budget. Then I got paid and ended up getting a few board games, pyjamas, switch games etc and now I've spent £400 in total!

If there is nothing you can return, try and enjoy Christmas at least but review how you will celebrate it in the future. There really is no need for loads of presents. Relatives will understand, including children.

Please return the stuff and your anxiety will vanish.

It really isn't worth it.

OK, so that all sounds like things that will get used and appreciated, and in some cases you might otherwise have paid out for at a different time of they year if you weren't giving them as presents.

The key question is "can you afford it?" - if it's gone on credit (especially credit you will struggle to clear) or it's leaving you short for paying for essentials, I'd suggest seeing if you can take some of the things back.

@shepherdsangeldelight no credit card will touch me so no I paid for it from my current account!

Can you keep any of it for their birthday? Then that's one less thing to buy later.

I’ve panic bought food for cupboards this year and had to scrape together money for fresh food being delivered tomorrow.

I buy presents throughout the year to avoid costs in December.

I'm also a lone parent, no dad around, and no family, so it's all on me, I totally get the feelings.

I save all year and only spend what I've saved up at Xmas time. I also go Into the sales in January, after summer, after Halloween etc and get stuff. I still have 2 little ones, but my older kids look back fondly at all the weird and wonderful stuff they got, dress up stuff, water guns etc, and they were useful throughout the year to so nit just discarded in January.

It's so hard when you're the only one, and it's easy to get caught up in it all, you sound like you're doing great op.

You’re doing a nice thing for your kids. They’re still really young and as you say, you’re the one carrying the whole family alone. I think it sounds like you’ve been generous and kind as well as practical in giving them something to look forward to.

If you’re not in debt, and you can pay your bills, it’ll come out okay in the end. January is depressing, true, but there are ways to cheer ourselves up that don’t involve money (we usually have to rein it RIGHT in in January too, there will be a lot of pasta getting eaten and no treats!)

Just enjoy what you’ve created for your special day through your own hard work, they’ll not be little for long, don’t give yourself a hard time.

Oooft that’s depressing and grim. A bank transfer of digital cash for Christmas? That’s truly awful. It underlines that gift giving is really only about monetary value, and is a terrible lesson to teach him.

Why can’t you just get him a modest gift that you think he might like, and that you’d enjoy giving him?

Or get him nothing, but take him shopping in the New Year and spend some time together choosing whatever it is he would buy himself with the cash you’re giving him?