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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anti-gay marriage

239 replies

NotGotAClue1 · 21/12/2023 13:21

My finance and the father of my young child told me that he doesn’t agree with gay marriage, not being gay in general, just the marriage part. And that it would be better for a child to be raised by a man and a woman. I’m completely offended by this and don’t agree in the slightest. I think he is thinking like a dinosaur and needs to move with the times. He thinks we can have different views and move on. But this has actually changed the way I look at him. He isn’t religious at all which is making me even more confused at his strong views.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MRSMTO · 27/12/2023 16:25

Yeah, I mean I'm sure Fred & Rose were excellent parents due to their heterosexuality

Igotagoodcard · 27/12/2023 16:35

scatterolight · 21/12/2023 13:44

Your opinion is very fashionable in the modern era. But go back a few years and everyone would have agreed that the ideal situation is for a child to have a mother and father. Perhaps the wheel will turn again one day and it's you who will be the dinosaur.

Perhaps you could list the advantages of being a motherless or fatherless child compared to having both? You might be able to persuade your DP to your fashionable view.

Utter rubbish.

Igotagoodcard · 27/12/2023 16:42

CurlewKate · 22/12/2023 14:29

@Verv
"My issue with marriage is not the sex or sexual orientation of those within the union, it is with the institution of marriage itself."

Me too. We are in a very exclusive club on Mumsnet! While of course I support gay people's right to marry, it always seems to me to be equalling down, not up.....

Out of (genuine) interest- what is it you feel is ‘not good’ (for want of finding a better phrase) about lesbian marriage? I’ve known many women who have an issue with straight marriage because of the power/financial/child rearing etc inequality- but they all feel that those issues are negated in gay marriage.

I can see an argument for no marriage of any kind because frequently (and statistically) it’s bad for women who are married to men- so gay marriage supports the institution of marriage which continues to harm women.

2mummies1baby · 27/12/2023 17:48

Verv · 27/12/2023 16:14

No.
But again, thank you for your interest in reinterpreting what I've said and advising me to say something different.

Show quote history

I was trying my hardest to find some logic in your views, but I've now accepted I'm just not going to find any.

Wateroverwine · 27/12/2023 18:22

I'm sure he is no saint following the bible or whatever religion.
Needs to mind his own business **

Verv · 30/12/2023 13:43

2mummies1baby · 27/12/2023 17:48

I was trying my hardest to find some logic in your views, but I've now accepted I'm just not going to find any.

Show quote history

Others have managed it.

INeverForgetAFaceButInYourCaseIdLikeTo · 30/12/2023 13:45

Cosyblankets · 21/12/2023 13:26

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Given that you're engaged and having a baby I would have thought his opinions on many things would have come up in conversation by now. Just because you don't agree with it, I don't see how you're personally offended by it.

this

TriOptimim · 30/12/2023 14:56

INeverForgetAFaceButInYourCaseIdLikeTo · 30/12/2023 13:45

this

Show quote history

You honestly can't see why many people find blatant homophobia offensive?

JazbayGrapes · 30/12/2023 16:54

You honestly can't see why many people find blatant homophobia offensive?

How blantant that you want to break up your family? He did not say he hates gays.

TriOptimim · 30/12/2023 17:26

JazbayGrapes · 30/12/2023 16:54

You honestly can't see why many people find blatant homophobia offensive?

How blantant that you want to break up your family? He did not say he hates gays.

Edited

No just that they shouldn't raise children or have equal rights under the law.

JazbayGrapes · 30/12/2023 17:52

indeed very offensive to think that mum and dad is better for children

pointythings · 30/12/2023 17:59

JazbayGrapes · 30/12/2023 17:52

indeed very offensive to think that mum and dad is better for children

Quite, because the evidence doesn't suggest that this is indeed the case. Children do best when their parents are in a long term, stable, happy relationship. The sex of the parents isn't all that relevant.

JazbayGrapes · 30/12/2023 18:04

very strange priorities indeed

TriOptimim · 30/12/2023 18:14

JazbayGrapes · 30/12/2023 17:52

indeed very offensive to think that mum and dad is better for children

Exactly, glad you agree.

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