Page 29 | Think this school policy is ridiculous

sadbutdontknowwhy · 2023-12-20T11:50:25+00:00

Secondary school DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term. Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it. Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well! Arghhhhh. Rant over.

RobinsNesting · 21/12/2023 08:54

If he did the crime! Its perfectly deserved non diagnosed ADHD or NT makes no difference rules are rules.

It seems the issue is that YOU have to pick the phone up. Well it's the third time he has had this happen so consequences must rise, yes this is an inconvenience for you but they have tried twice before so now its on you to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Yes he absolutely can be without a phone until the 8th of Jan 24. He will live and he will be ok and maybe it would remind him not to do it again in the new term.

Original poster

sadbutdontknowwhy · 21/12/2023 09:04

RobinsNesting · 21/12/2023 08:54

If he did the crime! Its perfectly deserved non diagnosed ADHD or NT makes no difference rules are rules.

It seems the issue is that YOU have to pick the phone up. Well it's the third time he has had this happen so consequences must rise, yes this is an inconvenience for you but they have tried twice before so now its on you to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Yes he absolutely can be without a phone until the 8th of Jan 24. He will live and he will be ok and maybe it would remind him not to do it again in the new term.

Again

Told this many times in the thread but thanks

OP posts:

PuttingDownRoots · 21/12/2023 09:09

Re the gym... would a printed barcode work? As a back up if he didn't have his phone for whatever reason (or even something like a dead battery).

AnythingBUTnursing · 21/12/2023 09:12

Let him experience life without a phone. Maybe he will enjoy it. Its a phone, get it when ever is convenient for you, not him. That's the point of him learning not to break rules and stick to them. It's not the end of the world if he doesn't have a phone constantly. Might concentrate on the class being taught rather than distracted by technology that can wait.

CharlotteBog · 21/12/2023 09:36

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 21/12/2023 08:21

It's not MN if you're not told the same thing repeatedly over and over and over and over....😉

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IKR! 29 pages of thread and someone pops up with what they must know is a point of view which must have been raised many, many times.
Cancel the cheque.

TrickyD · 21/12/2023 09:43

sadbutdontknowwhy · Yesterday 11:59

To clarify, he's had it confiscated 3 times but this is the 1st time I've to collect

School have been awful this term with new standards and a lot of the kids are struggling

I’m not surprised the school is struggling if many parents have your attitude.

Welcome2thecircus · 21/12/2023 09:52

Personally i'd take the phone away. Three strikes and all that. Presume gym can issue a membership card or fob. If you don't follow the rules there has to be a consequence or it will just keep happening.

You don't get three warnings as an adult, you'd just get fired hehe so I get what they are doing although it's disruptive for you.

AnonnyMouseDave · 21/12/2023 09:57

BuddyBuddyBumBum · 20/12/2023 19:53

Except the school do actually have the right to take it.

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When people talk rights perhaps they should be more specific.

eg "The school have a legal right to take it subject to safeguarding caveats which may or may not apply in this case. Many people believe that the school has no moral right to take it at all, even if they have a legal right, and many wonder whether driving a wedge between the school and the parent by deliberately inconveniencing the parent is in the long term interests of anyone concerned, not least the school".

AnonnyMouseDave · 21/12/2023 10:01

Fletchl4 · 21/12/2023 06:49

It's probably in their policy which you agreed to upon sending your child to that school. Have good word with your son and also reprimand him at home for the inconvenience it's caused you. And as for the gym, if he wants to go so badly he will abide by the school rules. Teachers have enough on their plate without trying to manage potential social media issues as a result of kids using their phone in school. It's getting out of hand and then the parents come knocking on the school's door asking what they are doing about it when really it's the parents responsibility. Look up "Yonder" and discuss with the school setting up a similar system.

No one agrees to the policy - the policy is set by the school and parents are forced to pretend to agree to it as a condition of their child having a place at school, which both parents and child need

AnonnyMouseDave · 21/12/2023 10:02

Welcome2thecircus · 21/12/2023 09:52

Personally i'd take the phone away. Three strikes and all that. Presume gym can issue a membership card or fob. If you don't follow the rules there has to be a consequence or it will just keep happening.

You don't get three warnings as an adult, you'd just get fired hehe so I get what they are doing although it's disruptive for you.

If it was a crap job maybe. If it was a job worth having then they wouldn't care whether you used your phone occasionally so long as the work got done.

stomachameleon · 21/12/2023 10:03

@AnonnyMouseDave well your not forced. Your could chose somewhere else? Without a phone policy.

stomachameleon · 21/12/2023 10:04

Teaching must be a crap job then as we aren't allowed our phones at all.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 21/12/2023 10:05

AnonnyMouseDave · 21/12/2023 09:57

When people talk rights perhaps they should be more specific.

eg "The school have a legal right to take it subject to safeguarding caveats which may or may not apply in this case. Many people believe that the school has no moral right to take it at all, even if they have a legal right, and many wonder whether driving a wedge between the school and the parent by deliberately inconveniencing the parent is in the long term interests of anyone concerned, not least the school".

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Indeed.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 21/12/2023 10:06

stomachameleon · 21/12/2023 10:03

@AnonnyMouseDave well your not forced. Your could chose somewhere else? Without a phone policy.

This has been mentioned several times, not everyone gets a choice of school.

PuttingDownRoots · 21/12/2023 10:09

@AnonnyMouseDave I presume you have heard of security which is why phones are banned in some workplaces eg Government departments, prisons, defence firms, science labs etc?

Then safeguarding so nurseries, teaching etc?

Original poster

sadbutdontknowwhy · 21/12/2023 10:09

TrickyD · 21/12/2023 09:43

sadbutdontknowwhy · Yesterday 11:59

To clarify, he's had it confiscated 3 times but this is the 1st time I've to collect

School have been awful this term with new standards and a lot of the kids are struggling

I’m not surprised the school is struggling if many parents have your attitude.

Fantastic thanks for your input

OP posts:

ThanksItHasPockets · 21/12/2023 10:11

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:44

I have genuinely considered it, but (and I swear it is true) fear that were I do do so the real reason I would be doing so is to see how contrary and difficult I can be to the therapist as opposed to actually seeking help.

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This sounds like an absolutely exhausting way to live. I could feel the adrenaline coming off your posts from yesterday. You must have been in quite a state. I sincerely hope you can find a way to manage this.

Original poster

sadbutdontknowwhy · 21/12/2023 10:12

I'm done with this now. Been told approx 600 times the same thing, why?

I get the rhetoric. I don't need to be told the same thing by every single poster

OP posts:

ThanksItHasPockets · 21/12/2023 10:14

@sadbutdontknowwhy folk will continue to read your OP and respond as long as you keep posting and bumping it up the page. You can hide the thread if you don’t want to see it any more.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 21/12/2023 10:17

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:13

And this is why I disagree with this vindictive school policy.

By deciding to punish the parents, because you hate some of the worst parents, are you really going to change the worst parents or are you going to get the better parents backs up?

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No one is punishing parents here. The teachers are trying to get parents to collect property which the teachers have confiscated due to pupils messing around with them in class.

It is not a vindictive policy at all.

As I think I said before, most parents on this thread agree with this policy and punishment. It’s you and OP who don’t seem to agree. I don’t think you or OP are the better parents at all, sorry.

My DM was a teacher for years in an inner city primary school, towards the end of her career (also as senco) a child was lying or saying stuff if the teachers even touched pupils, twisting what the teacher had done, which was never aggressive. This was back in early 90s. And it’s escalated since. Parents coming down to the school to complain about teachers.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 21/12/2023 10:20

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:41

Are you saying you always have the right to confiscate phones past school hours, because that is categorially wrong according to the link upthread?

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The items are confiscated during school hours and returned only to an adult. If the adult wont attend school to collect item during school hours that's not schools problem. No legal issue at all there.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 21/12/2023 10:21

I am very angry (not quite unhinged) at the thought of my kid's safety after school being put at risk and / or myself of my partner being massively inconvenienced as a result of the school using inappropriate punishments, yes

I am not sure how keeping someone's phone puts your child's safety at risk.

Most of us under the age of about 40 managed to get through school and journeys to and from school without having a mobile phone.

Anyway, if a child is that worried about getting the school bus home without a phone, or walking home without a phone, they'll make sure it stays at the bottom of their bag during lessons.

AnonnyMouseDave · 21/12/2023 10:26

PuttingDownRoots · 21/12/2023 10:09

@AnonnyMouseDave I presume you have heard of security which is why phones are banned in some workplaces eg Government departments, prisons, defence firms, science labs etc?

Then safeguarding so nurseries, teaching etc?

I thought we were all agreed that the kid shouldn't have his phone out and should be punished, I thought we were debating whether this punishment is a good one?

Bromptotoo · 21/12/2023 10:29

@enchantedsquirrelwood said:

I am not sure how keeping someone's phone puts your child's safety at risk.

Most of us under the age of about 40 managed to get through school and journeys to and from school without having a mobile phone

The point is that the world has moved on. 24/7 contact is a mixed blessing - see parents worrying the their Gen X offspring have been off radar for a day - but they also facilitate stuff we could not do.

Forty years ago there were payphones at the end of every street. If I got in a pickle on the way home I could make a reversed charge call to my Mum.

The rise of the mobile means such boxes, there were even a few doted around the school in 1978, are now like hen's teeth.

PuttingDownRoots · 21/12/2023 10:32

AnonnyMouseDave · 21/12/2023 10:26

I thought we were all agreed that the kid shouldn't have his phone out and should be punished, I thought we were debating whether this punishment is a good one?

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You said only crap jobs had "no phone" policies...