Page 26 | Think this school policy is ridiculous

sadbutdontknowwhy · 2023-12-20T11:50:25+00:00

Secondary school DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term. Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it. Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well! Arghhhhh. Rant over.

Neriah · 20/12/2023 18:11

I skipped page 11 to now, mostly in continuing despair...

But I've finally got a solution to class sizes. You don't follow the rules, first time, expulsion. Then you don't have to deal with thick pupils who don't understand what rules are, thick parents who don't think rules apply to them or their darlings, or insane MN posters.

And then we might be able to recruit teachers for those who actually want to learn, uninterrupted by the congenitally thick.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:13

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 20/12/2023 18:02

Not being funny and quoting wrongly probably but schools these days are hardly doing what they did in my day (70s) which was the cane in headmasters office or a board rubber thrown at a child’s head in class.

These days that is illegal. It probably was illegal back then.

There are too many parents around now (and in the past) who think angelic little Johnny who’s actually a pain in the arse at school and doesn’t listen, think he can do no wrong ever and take umbrage if the teacher dares to try to discipline him/her.

Show quote history

And this is why I disagree with this vindictive school policy.

By deciding to punish the parents, because you hate some of the worst parents, are you really going to change the worst parents or are you going to get the better parents backs up?

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:14

Qwerty556 · 20/12/2023 18:01

Repeatedly using your phone is class is wrong. By your logic the school has every right to be very very angry.

Show quote history

Yes, which is why I support strong punishments, but only if they stop short of depriving a child of a essential bit of kit for life in 2023, and which he may well need to get home safely. HTH.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:16

RatatouillePie · 20/12/2023 18:01

If you cannot support school policies then you should consider home schooling your children.

Show quote history

I don;t believe that parents should b forced to homeschool their kids simply because schools are batshit. I think it's better if the school improves.

But, I do take your point, and I can certainly see that more and more parents are not willing to force their kids to suffer pettiness from hateful teachers and insane schools, and I can see a lot of kids missing out on chunks of education as a result.

Whatafustercluck · 20/12/2023 18:16

This is the rule at my son's school too, and it's totally fine by me. Schools need support from parents to instil discipline in their kids, so this policy is all about asking parents to do something about it. What were the consequences for your son at home on all three occasions?

I got a call home from ds's maths teacher a couple of weeks ago. Pretty low level stuff, but he was struggling to get through to ds and knew that speaking to me would result in action to prevent things escalating. Your job as a parent is to support the school in their endeavours to ensure that the rules, which are there for a reason, are adhered to. I'd be more worried that your ds is addicted to his phone, and perhaps that's another angle for the school.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:18

RatatouillePie · 20/12/2023 18:09

Either support the school policies, find another school where you DO like the policies, or home educate their children.

There is absolutely no point moaning about school policy. If you don't support the policy, then clearly the school isn't the right one.

If you can't find any school where you can support their policies, then it says more about you than the school, so home schooling would perhaps be the best option!

Rubbish, choice of schools is a nonsense. All children should have a right to go to their local school which is a good school with sensible discipline policies.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:21

Whatafustercluck · 20/12/2023 18:16

This is the rule at my son's school too, and it's totally fine by me. Schools need support from parents to instil discipline in their kids, so this policy is all about asking parents to do something about it. What were the consequences for your son at home on all three occasions?

I got a call home from ds's maths teacher a couple of weeks ago. Pretty low level stuff, but he was struggling to get through to ds and knew that speaking to me would result in action to prevent things escalating. Your job as a parent is to support the school in their endeavours to ensure that the rules, which are there for a reason, are adhered to. I'd be more worried that your ds is addicted to his phone, and perhaps that's another angle for the school.

My kids are pretty well behaved as it goes. I send them to school to be educated, not to learn what they already know about what good behaviour is. I don't send them their to be wound up by stupid teachers imposing vindictive punishments which might impact my children's ability to get home safely or access their gym after school to keep fit.

ThanksItHasPockets · 20/12/2023 18:25

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:09

I constantly consider that I might be wrong, and it's a massive part of posting on forums like this - it gives numerous strangers the chance to convince me I am wrong, and sometimes they do! Not here though!

My anger stems - and I am very very sure of this - from petty rules and stupid punishments at school and to a lesser extent home. If you tell me I can'T cross a slow quiet road unless the green man is showing - despite the road being clear for a long way in both directions - then I am going to make a point of crossing when I am not supposed to, even if I need to cross straight back because I was on the right side to start with. If you tell me my hair needs to be short I'm going to grow it out for the first time in decades. If you tell me not to use the word "bloody" in a adult social event because it is rude then you are going to hear the c-word A LOT.

Show quote history

I mean this kindly and without sarcasm: I genuinely encourage you to seek some help to unpick this. Your reactions on this thread and as you describe in this post are extreme and disproportionate. All the best to you.

Whatafustercluck · 20/12/2023 18:26

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:21

My kids are pretty well behaved as it goes. I send them to school to be educated, not to learn what they already know about what good behaviour is. I don't send them their to be wound up by stupid teachers imposing vindictive punishments which might impact my children's ability to get home safely or access their gym after school to keep fit.

Show quote history

You and your son know the rules. Your son broke the rules. Not once, but three times. What consequences did you follow up with so your son knows that you support the school in restricting access to phones during the school day to protect his ability to learn?

Luxell934 · 20/12/2023 18:26

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:21

My kids are pretty well behaved as it goes. I send them to school to be educated, not to learn what they already know about what good behaviour is. I don't send them their to be wound up by stupid teachers imposing vindictive punishments which might impact my children's ability to get home safely or access their gym after school to keep fit.

Show quote history

So would it make you very very angry then if your child came home and said "it's really hard to learn in school because the teacher keeps having to stop the lesson to ask the other children to stop talking over her or playing on their phones"

Would you be happy that your children didnt reach their full potential because teachers couldn't teach due to poor behaviour? That would be fine with you? Yes? As long as those "Stupid teachers" dont hand out any"vindictive punishments" hmmmmmmm

OracleofWurms · 20/12/2023 18:26

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:21

My kids are pretty well behaved as it goes. I send them to school to be educated, not to learn what they already know about what good behaviour is. I don't send them their to be wound up by stupid teachers imposing vindictive punishments which might impact my children's ability to get home safely or access their gym after school to keep fit.

Show quote history

but then your own children should also know that by having a phone out without permission can then lead to unintended results that would prevent eg the gym etc,

surely it goes both ways in terms of behavior's

Thementalloadisreal · 20/12/2023 18:29

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:16

I don;t believe that parents should b forced to homeschool their kids simply because schools are batshit. I think it's better if the school improves.

But, I do take your point, and I can certainly see that more and more parents are not willing to force their kids to suffer pettiness from hateful teachers and insane schools, and I can see a lot of kids missing out on chunks of education as a result.

Show quote history

Again, it is neither batshit, nor petty, to ask a parent to collect their property within the opening hours of the school office.

Neriah · 20/12/2023 18:31

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:21

My kids are pretty well behaved as it goes. I send them to school to be educated, not to learn what they already know about what good behaviour is. I don't send them their to be wound up by stupid teachers imposing vindictive punishments which might impact my children's ability to get home safely or access their gym after school to keep fit.

Show quote history

Name change fail? Or another poster who doesn't understand that school is for education for EVERYONE and not for those who think that it only applies around their own disruptive behaviours?

Hankunamatata · 20/12/2023 18:33

Its pretty genius way to ensure parents engage with home/school discipline.

Whatafustercluck · 20/12/2023 18:35

"Officer, please don't confiscate my driving licence! It's essential because I have a job to get to."

Original poster

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 18:36

Guys @AnonnyMouseDave is not me

OP posts:

Hankunamatata · 20/12/2023 18:38

Iv locked my dc phone so they can only use certain apps until they could prove they could be trusted with phone in school

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:44

ThanksItHasPockets · 20/12/2023 18:25

I mean this kindly and without sarcasm: I genuinely encourage you to seek some help to unpick this. Your reactions on this thread and as you describe in this post are extreme and disproportionate. All the best to you.

Show quote history

I have genuinely considered it, but (and I swear it is true) fear that were I do do so the real reason I would be doing so is to see how contrary and difficult I can be to the therapist as opposed to actually seeking help.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:47

Luxell934 · 20/12/2023 18:26

So would it make you very very angry then if your child came home and said "it's really hard to learn in school because the teacher keeps having to stop the lesson to ask the other children to stop talking over her or playing on their phones"

Would you be happy that your children didnt reach their full potential because teachers couldn't teach due to poor behaviour? That would be fine with you? Yes? As long as those "Stupid teachers" dont hand out any"vindictive punishments" hmmmmmmm

Show quote history

I would hope that the school is able to come up with appropriate punishments in order to reduce disruption. I would not support deliberately inconveniencing parents and I would not support anything that punishes the child out of school hours (other than detention or extra homework).

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:49

Hankunamatata · 20/12/2023 18:33

Its pretty genius way to ensure parents engage with home/school discipline.

Do you have any evidence for this? (Proper evidence, not anecdotal). It might, but it might not IMHO.

Are you sure it doesn't wind up the parents and make them more likely to side with their kids over the school. OP seems to be somewhat less pleased with her son's school than she was a few months back, which cannot possibly help the school.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:50

Neriah · 20/12/2023 18:31

Name change fail? Or another poster who doesn't understand that school is for education for EVERYONE and not for those who think that it only applies around their own disruptive behaviours?

Show quote history

I support the rule not the punishment for breaking the rule !

Not name change fail. I am not OP

RatatouillePie · 20/12/2023 18:51

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:16

I don;t believe that parents should b forced to homeschool their kids simply because schools are batshit. I think it's better if the school improves.

But, I do take your point, and I can certainly see that more and more parents are not willing to force their kids to suffer pettiness from hateful teachers and insane schools, and I can see a lot of kids missing out on chunks of education as a result.

Show quote history

You're missing the point.

The school does NOT need to improve. It's fine. The policy is VERY clear and if a child chooses to get their phone out which will inconvenience their parent, then that is the choice of the child, and up to the parent to educate their child to follow the rules or face the consequences e.g. no phone until it can be collected.

Just like society has laws and rules which people need to follow... school is just a practice run.

And again, if you don't like school rules, there is always the option of home schooling.

My son's secondary school has some quite draconian rules about uniform, phones etc... but they make the policy clear and I will support it. If my son is stupid enough to get his phone out, then he will just have to wait until it's convenient for me to go at collect it, which could be days. That's life!

Luxell934 · 20/12/2023 18:52

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:47

I would hope that the school is able to come up with appropriate punishments in order to reduce disruption. I would not support deliberately inconveniencing parents and I would not support anything that punishes the child out of school hours (other than detention or extra homework).

Show quote history

What are the appropriate punishments then in order to reduce the disruption? You seem very knowledgable about schools and education in general despite never working in one yourself. So please tell teachers and schools how to affectively deal with this behaviour as they are crying out for a resolution to the behaviour crisis in schools.

WearyAuldWumman · 20/12/2023 19:01

Requiring the parent to pick up the phone is one of the few ways of ensuring engagement. (Unwilling engagement, perhaps, but engagement nonetheless.)

I did supply in an LA where the powers-that-be had decided that all poor behaviour was 'trauma-induced'. Punishments were banned; restorative conversations became the order of the day; even the word 'sanction' was not allowed. The results have been fairly predictable.

Promoted staff are allowed to phone parents about behavioural concerns (assuming they can get through) or to send an email or snail mail.

When you have a situation where the parent says, 'Well, I allow him/her/them to smoke/vape whatever...' then you're left with nowhere to go in an LA where only occasional short suspensions and no permanent exclusions are allowed.

The authority is losing staff. Some day, the parents who refuse to engage are going to have even bigger problems when schools will - inevitably - have to put children on part-time tables or hybrid learning. If children have to participate in home learning, someone will have to be at home to supervise.

DonnaBanana · 20/12/2023 19:15

Talking about property and stuff is sort of irrelevant. Schools are a law unto themselves and sort of act outside the usual system. For example, if your child is beaten up, the school will try and sort it all out including punishments, you don't have the police turn up and arrest the other kid for assault like you would if it happened in the workplace. Schools have their own legal systems and remedies and you have to kind of go along with them.