Page 28 | Think this school policy is ridiculous

sadbutdontknowwhy · 2023-12-20T11:50:25+00:00

Secondary school DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term. Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it. Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well! Arghhhhh. Rant over.

OracleofWurms · 20/12/2023 22:53

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 22:52

Funny enough, I was talking to him earlier and he mentioned that his history teacher has been forced to change his lessons, and they are now boring, even some of the teachers are frustrated at the lengths the school have gone to

The times he's had his phone confiscated are with one teacher, who he's had issues with. Son yep, while he was in the wrong there is something more going on

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maybe that teacher noticed him more using the phone ?

Original poster

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 23:07

@OracleofWurms

I don't think so

OP posts:

OracleofWurms · 20/12/2023 23:15

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 23:07

@OracleofWurms

I don't think so

unless the other teachers are not seeing it being used, then for the times its been confisated it had to be being used and if its one specific teacher thats doing it, then if rules were not being broken then learning would happen, rather than your time being wasted

Minglingpringle · 20/12/2023 23:24

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:09

I constantly consider that I might be wrong, and it's a massive part of posting on forums like this - it gives numerous strangers the chance to convince me I am wrong, and sometimes they do! Not here though!

My anger stems - and I am very very sure of this - from petty rules and stupid punishments at school and to a lesser extent home. If you tell me I can'T cross a slow quiet road unless the green man is showing - despite the road being clear for a long way in both directions - then I am going to make a point of crossing when I am not supposed to, even if I need to cross straight back because I was on the right side to start with. If you tell me my hair needs to be short I'm going to grow it out for the first time in decades. If you tell me not to use the word "bloody" in a adult social event because it is rude then you are going to hear the c-word A LOT.

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Why?

stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 23:43

@AnonnyMouseDave I would suggest therapy may be beneficial to work out why you feel the need to challenge any authority.

stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 23:44

@sadbutdontknowwhy or others turn a blind eye?

cardibach · 21/12/2023 00:11

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 15:23

So you just shout your view louder when someone expresses a different view?
Ok.

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Online ‘shouting’ and real life shouting are rather different. Though since you struggled so much with the basic premise that the school did have the policy that phones stay in bags I’m not massively surprised you don’t see that.

cardibach · 21/12/2023 00:24

shearwater2 · 20/12/2023 15:36

I wish I had invented it.

I'm on Mumsnet on a work computer! gasp

And don't judge others by your own low standards.

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Sorry? What low standards are you referring to?
If you aren’t on a break you’re a bit if shit employee aren’t you? And if you are it’s irrelevant. I said adults at work wouldn’t do it, incidentally, so it appears I have higher standards than you.

cardibach · 21/12/2023 00:47

Grimpo · 20/12/2023 16:52

The guidance quoted upthread requires, amongst other matters, that the policy be properly publicised. We don't know whether this has been: OP talks about the school having introduced a lot of changes just within the last term. Therefore you can't assume that it's a legal policy.

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It’s a very common policy, so I’d be surprised if it’s one of the new ones. If it is, it’ll be because phones have recently become a massive distraction in lessons. What sort of person bangs on about the legal situation when faced with a practical solution to a serious educational issue - especially when as a general principle it’s legal.
Anyway, all policies, new or otherwise, will be on the school’s website.

AGoingConcern · 21/12/2023 01:27

If they required you to pick it up the first time then I'd find the policy unreasonable. As is, I don't see the difference between this and issuing an after school detention that the parent would need to alter transportation plans for or requiring parents to come in for a meeting with the head/to pick up the child from the office after repeated or serious offenses. Obviously confiscating a phone should never be used to prevent a child from contacting their parents or vice versa - they should always be allowed to do so through the school phones.

I don't know what sort of phone your DC has, but on an iphone it's easy to lock their access during set hours.

Go to Settings>Screen Time>Down time
Select scheduled and input the school days and hours the phone should be locked
You can then go to Communication Limits and set up your contact (and any others you want) as allowed during downtime
If there are apps he genuinely needs access to during school you can select those under Always Allowed
Then select "Lock Screen Time Settings" and input a password (that your DC doesn't know, obviously)

user1477391263 · 21/12/2023 04:49

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:59

To clarify, he's had it confiscated 3 times but this is the 1st time I've to collect

School have been awful this term with new standards and a lot of the kids are struggling

OP, I think you deserve to be inconvenienced because with this number of warnings, you should have got him a brick phone.

What does "struggling" mean? The kids can't bear to put their phones away and are whining about being asked to do so?

Really, I despair. Poor teachers.

Fletchl4 · 21/12/2023 06:49

It's probably in their policy which you agreed to upon sending your child to that school. Have good word with your son and also reprimand him at home for the inconvenience it's caused you. And as for the gym, if he wants to go so badly he will abide by the school rules. Teachers have enough on their plate without trying to manage potential social media issues as a result of kids using their phone in school. It's getting out of hand and then the parents come knocking on the school's door asking what they are doing about it when really it's the parents responsibility. Look up "Yonder" and discuss with the school setting up a similar system.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 21/12/2023 06:57

cardibach · 21/12/2023 00:11

Online ‘shouting’ and real life shouting are rather different. Though since you struggled so much with the basic premise that the school did have the policy that phones stay in bags I’m not massively surprised you don’t see that.

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I didn't struggle with anything.

Uncaffinatedheathen · 21/12/2023 06:59

Regardless of if he is on the spectrum or not, rules are rules and at 15 he should know and follow them by now. I too have a 15 Yr old possibly on the spectrum and we have had to buckle down on him and make him see that the choices he makes has consequences on others which isn't fair. We got to a point where we made him keep his phone at home during school weeks, our reason was if school needed us or if he needed us, they have phones and contact numbers there already. It's not always down to parenting styles. Not all of us are perfect 😁

ZanteDreamer · 21/12/2023 07:07

My son is 33. He was at school when photo phones began. In those days phones were confiscated and parents had to not only collect but go through all the photos to check there were no school fights/happy slapping incidents videoed on there. My son was 15. I had to sit through a neverending stream of photos of boobs with the only older male teacher in the school! I was mortified 🤣. Least you don't have to do that anymore!!

Lavenderblue11 · 21/12/2023 07:13

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 12:01

Every time I hear about schools confiscating phones I wonder what legal right they actually have to take it? Taking it away from your son to stop him using it in class - ok, I suppose, though surely it being left in his bag/locker would be more appropriate than them stealing it? To not return it to him at the end of the day is even more ridiculous though - they should return it to him.

My daughter is a teacher, and what a nightmare of a job it sounds. Having to crowd control a class whilst at the same time trying to get the best out of them educationally is nigh on impossible. Imagine having to deal with kids like OPs son, repeatedly ignoring the rules and pushing the boundaries? He's lucky it doesn't end up in the bloody bin. They should have to hand their phones in at the start of every lesson, I really feel for these teachers.

Universalsnail · 21/12/2023 07:35

I agree with you. I think it's rediculous at 15 to expect a parent to come in and fetch it, as if a parent is going to be able to stop a 15 year old taking their phone out when they shouldn't when a parent isn't around.

Jomasell · 21/12/2023 07:38

Yeah i have an issue with petty rules and rules for the sake of it too. I think schools need to pick their battles. My sons school had them using phones for some work, when it suited. You cant have it both ways. I think they need to just return phones at the emd of the day and stop feeling everything has to be a punishment. Its just tiresome.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 21/12/2023 07:52

Lavenderblue11 · 21/12/2023 07:13

My daughter is a teacher, and what a nightmare of a job it sounds. Having to crowd control a class whilst at the same time trying to get the best out of them educationally is nigh on impossible. Imagine having to deal with kids like OPs son, repeatedly ignoring the rules and pushing the boundaries? He's lucky it doesn't end up in the bloody bin. They should have to hand their phones in at the start of every lesson, I really feel for these teachers.

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I feel for teachers too, which is why I also think phones should be left in bags/lockers.

That said my son's school doesn't have a set policy, they're expected to use them for work in some classes, allowed to use them in some classes to listen to music while working/studying but expected not to touch them at all in other classes. A clear policy is needed.

Hesma · 21/12/2023 07:55

Don’t blame the school, blame your child for having his phone out. He knows the rules and chooses to flout them repeatedly

Original poster

sadbutdontknowwhy · 21/12/2023 08:04

Hesma · 21/12/2023 07:55

Don’t blame the school, blame your child for having his phone out. He knows the rules and chooses to flout them repeatedly

Yep been told this about 500 times on this thread

OP posts:

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 21/12/2023 08:21

sadbutdontknowwhy · 21/12/2023 08:04

Yep been told this about 500 times on this thread

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It's not MN if you're not told the same thing repeatedly over and over and over and over....😉

Maxus · 21/12/2023 08:34

Jomasell · 21/12/2023 07:38

Yeah i have an issue with petty rules and rules for the sake of it too. I think schools need to pick their battles. My sons school had them using phones for some work, when it suited. You cant have it both ways. I think they need to just return phones at the emd of the day and stop feeling everything has to be a punishment. Its just tiresome.

Actually the school can have it both ways. At 15 a child is more than capable of using a phone apropriately in lessons when asked and then put it away when they have finished.its not mixed messaging it's expecting kids follow the quite simple rules.

Original poster

sadbutdontknowwhy · 21/12/2023 08:39

Fletchl4 · 21/12/2023 06:49

It's probably in their policy which you agreed to upon sending your child to that school. Have good word with your son and also reprimand him at home for the inconvenience it's caused you. And as for the gym, if he wants to go so badly he will abide by the school rules. Teachers have enough on their plate without trying to manage potential social media issues as a result of kids using their phone in school. It's getting out of hand and then the parents come knocking on the school's door asking what they are doing about it when really it's the parents responsibility. Look up "Yonder" and discuss with the school setting up a similar system.

Yep
Thanks

OP posts:

Cosyblankets · 21/12/2023 08:43

Jomasell · 21/12/2023 07:38

Yeah i have an issue with petty rules and rules for the sake of it too. I think schools need to pick their battles. My sons school had them using phones for some work, when it suited. You cant have it both ways. I think they need to just return phones at the emd of the day and stop feeling everything has to be a punishment. Its just tiresome.

The vast majority of workplaces now use Internet etc to function. The vast majority of workplaces don't allow personal use in work time. It's a disciplinary matter
It's a rule.
This is no different.