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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mary Earps’ dress..

167 replies

Pottedpalm · 20/12/2023 08:16

Worthy winner of the sports award, but her dress? No doubt high fashion but I thought it looked very unattractive and somewhat inappropriate. I’m aware see through fabrics etc are in vogue, but it looked to me like lingerie with a skirt falling down, so a sort of corset/thong affair.

OP posts:

ElaineMBenes · 21/12/2023 14:36

shitsuit23466 · 21/12/2023 14:22

If she hypothetically accepted the award in a thong bikini would that have been acceptable and "inspirational"?

Would that have made her any less of a deserving winner?
Why do her outfit choices matter?

Laffinalltheway · 21/12/2023 14:47

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 21/12/2023 14:21

Why are there so many men popping up on mumsnet at the moment? And why do they always need to announce that they are in fact "a bloke"

Because there were a couple of threads on here 3-4 weeks ago where poster were complaining that they didn't know if another poster were male or female. The man in question felt uncomfortable about that and said something to the effect that he didn't know if he would continue to post if he was making others uncomfortable.
He was talked out of it but said that he'd make it known he was a man when posting, and I thought I'd offer the same courtesy, that's all.

CharlotteBog · 21/12/2023 15:29

ElaineMBenes · 21/12/2023 14:35

Of course they have.
Instead of discussing her achievements and awards the focus has been on what she was wearing.

It's simple sexism and misogyny. You can try and deny it but it's plain to see.

Show quote history

Thread title: Mary Earps’ dress

Appropriate responses: I like it. I don't like it. I don't think it fitted her well. Nice colour. Good fit.

Irrelevant responses: What a great achievement for her to win.

I haven't checked but I am sure there are thread discussing her achievement, where indeed it would be wrong for the focus to be on her dress.

ElaineMBenes · 21/12/2023 16:07

@CharlotteBog the op used the words inappropriate and unattractive.
They even said 'she's a worthy winner but.......' That's clearly linking her achievements to her outfit.

It's unnecessary

KylieJennersMakeUpSponge · 21/12/2023 16:08

Can we not just celebrate a woman’s incredible achievement without tutting about her showing too much skin? Could they just be in the realms of some people’s thought processes?

tigger1001 · 21/12/2023 16:09

ElaineMBenes · 21/12/2023 16:07

@CharlotteBog the op used the words inappropriate and unattractive.
They even said 'she's a worthy winner but.......' That's clearly linking her achievements to her outfit.

It's unnecessary

Totally agree with this.

It's the fact the op used the word "inappropriate". What makes it inappropriate? It's just a dress. Not my taste certainly but it's not me wearing it.

BIossomtoes · 21/12/2023 16:46

DailyEnergyCrisis · 21/12/2023 13:37

But why is that the conversation? If you’re a woman (I sense you’re not) and you pulled off one of the biggest career accolades possible in your field- would it feel relevant or necessary for people to slate what you wore in the process of receiving it? Would that feel good? Or would you rather people focus on your achievements?

It’s just the same sexist shite that has blighted women forever. I’ve never once seen a male sportsperson be criticised online for a shit choice of suit. Yet women are a free for all. If people can’t see the lack of balance they’re a massive part of the problem. It’s shameful.

Show quote history

You sense wrong. How dare you make an assumption like that based on two sentences?

melj1213 · 21/12/2023 16:53

shitsuit23466 · 21/12/2023 14:22

If she hypothetically accepted the award in a thong bikini would that have been acceptable and "inspirational"?

It would depend on the dress code for the event.

If Mary rocked up to a formal event in a bikini then it would be inappropriate as an outfit as it ignored the dress code, but if it was a "Beach party" and everyone else was also in swimwear, Hawaiian shirts and sliders then it would have been acceptable for her to rock up in a bikini.

SPOTY is a formal event therefore it is not inappropriate, unacceptable or disrespectful that Mary turned up wearing a formal dress, no matter whether it's to some people's personal tastes or not.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/12/2023 17:00

It’s probably not what I’d choose. Trying to think if I’d have worn it when k was young and had the figure - maybe, I’m not sure.

But she certainly does have the figure of it and why not - it’s probably nice to make a contrast with a goalkeeper’s outfit.

Anyway it’s all a matter of personal choice and everyone should be allowed to wear what they like.

ActuallyChristmas · 21/12/2023 17:01

She could get away with it figurewise but it was a bit Anne Summers 😂 - mostly the visible panties element. I don’t think it was a Judy (as in Richard and Judy) moment but an odd choice for the occasion praps

CharlotteBog · 21/12/2023 17:22

ElaineMBenes · 21/12/2023 16:07

@CharlotteBog the op used the words inappropriate and unattractive.
They even said 'she's a worthy winner but.......' That's clearly linking her achievements to her outfit.

It's unnecessary

Fair point.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 21/12/2023 18:40

BIossomtoes · 21/12/2023 16:46

You sense wrong. How dare you make an assumption like that based on two sentences?

Show quote history

It’s a shame then if you are a woman- makes it worse that you can’t see this type of sexist criticism for what it actually is. And yes- I’m very happy to “dare” to call it out, as it needs challenging.

BIossomtoes · 21/12/2023 19:03

Dare call out what? Implying something about someone you know nothing about isn’t calling anything out. I have no idea why you decided to pick on my perfectly accurate and harmless post when you had so many others to choose from. I don’t suppose you do either.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 21/12/2023 19:09

BIossomtoes · 21/12/2023 19:03

What?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ you quoted part of my post initially to start this off- do you know how forums work?

BIossomtoes · 21/12/2023 19:15

DailyEnergyCrisis · 21/12/2023 19:09

What?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ you quoted part of my post initially to start this off- do you know how forums work?

Show quote history

I’m talking about you implying I’m not a woman. Which you started in response to my saying Nobody’s done that. All anyone’s said is they don’t like her frock, ffs.. Not sexist. Not misogynist. Not even criticism. Find someone else to pick on.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 21/12/2023 19:20

find someone else to pick on wonder if Mary Earps is feeling like that today when actually she should be reflecting on some absolutely outstanding achievements. It seems to me that words matter to you. And they do matter. Which is why this thread is so utterly depressing.

parsely · 22/12/2023 00:25

She wore a dramatic dress to get noticed. And everyone is noticing it. Surely she can't be surprised.

Her agenda is extending brand Mary Earps beyond the football field. And good luck to her with that. So far, so good.

I don't think we have to pretend to be blind to the fact she had her knickers on show on national TV in order to be supportive to women. I am sure it was supposed to make a stir.

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