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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mary Earps’ dress..

167 replies

Pottedpalm · 20/12/2023 08:16

Worthy winner of the sports award, but her dress? No doubt high fashion but I thought it looked very unattractive and somewhat inappropriate. I’m aware see through fabrics etc are in vogue, but it looked to me like lingerie with a skirt falling down, so a sort of corset/thong affair.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 20/12/2023 08:32

I would add that I was following the progress of the EFL matches being played so I'd only switched to BBC to see who'd won. What anyone was wearing simply didn't register.

LubaLuca · 20/12/2023 08:33

ElaineMBenes · 20/12/2023 08:21

How many times have you commented on the outfits of male winners?

I'm sure people would if one of them wore an outfit cut so you could see their vest and knickers.

Sleepybumble · 20/12/2023 08:33

What's inappropriate about it? What would you consider appropriate? Why did you need to start a thread about what she's worn, rather than her fantastic achievement? We should be celebrating her not attempting to reduce her to a piece of clothing.

ElaineMBenes · 20/12/2023 08:34

I probably wouldn’t comment on a plain navy suit but I would notice and might even comment on an unusual outfit whether it was on a man or a woman.

But that doesn't happen. Generally, men don't have their achievements overshadowed by discussions on what they were wearing. Yet women are frequently defined by their outfit choices, usually in a negative way. Look at the language being used.....unattractive, inappropriate. That's not just commenting, that's judgement.

It's sexist and it's misogynistic.

ilovesooty · 20/12/2023 08:35

TheFairyCaravan · 20/12/2023 08:31

She must be feeling really great this morning. Thousands of men are saying she only won to tick a box and thousands of women are criticising what she wore. Why not just be happy for her and congratulate her?

Agreed.

I think she made a poor choice

Get over yourself and stop being so petty and mean spirited.

ElaineMBenes · 20/12/2023 08:35

I think she made a poor choice.

No, the only poor choice being made is you setting this thread.

Mumof2teens79 · 20/12/2023 08:35

Really don't know what was inappropriate about it.
I loved it...anyone know where its from?

ElaineMBenes · 20/12/2023 08:36

TheFairyCaravan · 20/12/2023 08:31

She must be feeling really great this morning. Thousands of men are saying she only won to tick a box and thousands of women are criticising what she wore. Why not just be happy for her and congratulate her?

This. It's sad and pathetic.

She's bloody amazing!!

ElaineMBenes · 20/12/2023 08:37

Did you read my post? ‘Worthy winner?..’

Worthy winner ......but I'm now going to judge you for your chosen outfit and slag you off anonymously online.

SkinOffNose · 20/12/2023 08:37

I just googled this. I was expecting something horrific from some of these comments. As a 55-year-old woman, sitting here in my thermals, I thought she looked absolutely fabulous. If you can’t dress like that at her age and with her body, when can you?

There are all sort of cutout dresses now. Would I wear them? No, but can others look incredible in them.? Yes absolutely!

Ugh how awful for her to have to read these comments when she won an award for her sporting prowess.

Twinstudy · 20/12/2023 08:39

How is it inappropriate (hate that word)? It was an awards ceremony and that is an awards ceremony dress.

Personally think she looked amazing but it doesn't really matter what I think, she obviously liked it so who cares?

Motnight · 20/12/2023 08:39

How depressing. Young woman wins award. Gets criticism regarding her choice of outfit.

Muchof · 20/12/2023 08:39

ElaineMBenes · 20/12/2023 08:34

I probably wouldn’t comment on a plain navy suit but I would notice and might even comment on an unusual outfit whether it was on a man or a woman.

But that doesn't happen. Generally, men don't have their achievements overshadowed by discussions on what they were wearing. Yet women are frequently defined by their outfit choices, usually in a negative way. Look at the language being used.....unattractive, inappropriate. That's not just commenting, that's judgement.

It's sexist and it's misogynistic.

Firstly I would say I have made no comment on her dress.

I am replying to the suggestion that nobody would comment on a male winners outfit as personally I think if a male winner had turned up revealing essentially his underwear, I think people would be equally likely to comment.

Or when you say “that doesn’t happen” do you mean that a male winner has never done this?

ElaineMBenes · 20/12/2023 08:45

@Muchof
What I'm saying is you don't see threads or comments online undermining men's achievements in this way. You just don't.

People always come back and say they'd comment if a man was wearing something unusual and maybe they would, but you don't see the same level of judgement or attempts to undermine their achievements.
Women are defined by their appearance no matter what else they achieve.

mumto2teenagers · 20/12/2023 08:46

How was her outfit inappropriate, it was an awards ceremony, of course she would want to get dressed up.

eddiemairswife · 20/12/2023 08:46

I didn't watch the programme, I didn't know who she was . J don't like football. I didn't like the dress.

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 20/12/2023 08:48

Perhaps everyone droning on about it being “inappropriate” would like to fuck off to North Korea where they have a dress code.

Mumof2teens79 · 20/12/2023 08:50

I have looked closely
It's an illusion dress...no real cut outs (although wouldn't bother me if there were) it's built on skin tone mesh and everything is covered...again not that that would bother me.
She looked amazing - which we wouldn't say for a male winner but that's the world we live in unfortunately.
All women at these things feel pressure to look fabulous and have to pull out all the stops...and when they do they get criticised, and if they don't they get critcised.

InsomniacsWife · 20/12/2023 08:52

Pottedpalm · 20/12/2023 08:24

Well I might if I saw one dressed inappropriately.

Show quote history

"inappropriate" 😂 Were you clutching your pearls when you saw it?

Spotsandleopard · 20/12/2023 09:04

I had a look for the dress and thought she looked stunning, not my cup of tea - I’m in my 60s but 40 years ago I’d have given it a go - I don’t know of her but listened to her speech, what a lovely young woman

FranticallyFrank · 20/12/2023 09:08

Men’s outfits don’t get talked about because they tend to always wear safe, boring clothing. If they started to express themselves more through their clothing like women do then we would be interested.

Remember when David Beckham wore a sarong? There would definitely be at least 2 threads on that.

cloudydays2 · 20/12/2023 09:10

If she feels good in it then what does it matter.

derxa · 20/12/2023 09:19

She looked great but I would have preferred Katerina Johnson Thomson to have won. Or Ronnie O’Sullivan. I’m not a fan of Engerland.

StillWantingADog · 20/12/2023 09:22

I wouldn’t have worn it but I think she can wear whatever she wants (and pull it off too)

but if we are talking about the outfits I think Alex Scott won the day. Stood out among a sea of black. Very elegant.

derxa · 20/12/2023 09:25

StillWantingADog · 20/12/2023 09:22

I wouldn’t have worn it but I think she can wear whatever she wants (and pull it off too)

but if we are talking about the outfits I think Alex Scott won the day. Stood out among a sea of black. Very elegant.

I’m so sick of Alex Scott. She’s not a good football pundit.