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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - neighbour fallout

227 replies

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 00:52

I really don’t think I’ve done anything wrong here, but it’s weighing on my mind a lot so here I am…!

Recently, a small business in our village held a charity raffle to win a fairly high-end beauty product (worth approx £300). I didn’t actually know about this raffle until my next door neighbour mentioned it to me - (I personally have never used this business before so did not see that they had been advertising the raffle on their social media as I don’t follow them.)

The prize was something that I would love to have anyway, and so I entered the raffle.

I was very surprised to receive a phone call a couple of days ago to be told that I had won it! I went in to collect it. They asked if I would mind having my photo taken with the prize, and for the photo to be posted on their social media, which I was fine about. I was really pleased, I never win anything and it truly made my day!

They were completely lovely to me when I went into collect it, that I may well start using this business regularly now.

Anyway - this is where it all went a bit wrong ..
the following day, I bumped into my neighbour whilst having just left the house to walk the dog. Before I could say anything to her, she said to me, ‘I see you are the winner of the raffle then’ in quite a cool tone.. I replied, and told her that yes, I was really pleased and very thankful ..

The conversation was very quick as it was raining and I didn’t want to hang around, and to be honest, I didn’t give it much more thought after this.

But… I was absolutely gobsmacked to get a knock on the door this evening, from my neighbour. As it happens, I was going to deliver her Christmas card tonight anyway, and so I had it on the table by our front door so when she opened the door I said hi and said something along the lines of ‘oh while you’re here, let me give you this’.. and proceeded to try to give her the card, but she replied with, “ yeah, you can keep it… You realise that, if it hadn’t been for me, you would never have even known about the raffle, right?”…. I was a bit taken back by this, and I told her that I was grateful she had let me know about it. To which she said to me that I should be giving HER the prize because she had told me about it in the first place….! I laughed because I actually thought she was joking… but no, she was being completely serious..!

She said that because she is a single mum, it would have been very useful to her because she would’ve just sold it, and made herself a couple of hundred pounds towards Christmas. She then proceeded to tell me that I’m being completely selfish by not giving her the prize. Before I could say anything, she turned around and walked off..

Literally can somebody help me out here .. I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?!

I do have a tendency to overthink things, but I actually don’t think I am BU here??

Idly wondering if I should gift her the item for Christmas, as honestly cannot stand the thought of having any issues with neighbours..

OP posts:
Nearlythere80 · 20/12/2023 00:57

Well she's being ridiculous of course. You could gift it to her but i would seriously avoid anything to do with her ever again either way

FortofPud · 20/12/2023 00:58

Nothing wrong at all, she's lost the plot Grin Either she's always like this and best avoided in future, or she's in the midst of a moment of madness and will look back at this in horror.

Tiedtoatwat · 20/12/2023 01:00

She needs to gf herself!! She is nuts!!

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:00

I mean, I hope that’s all it is! Prior to this, we’ve always got on fine. We’ve lived next door to each other for around a year now.
I just dread the thought of having neighbour issues 😭

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 20/12/2023 01:02

Goodness me, she’s completely batshit.

Ibex22 · 20/12/2023 01:02

Well she's really embarrassed herself with that gem! Silly woman.

Does she not understand how raffles work then? Does she think that you were the only two entrants and therefore by entering you scuppered her victory?!

On principle do NOT gift her the prize. In fact, I would avoid completely from now on. She's off her head.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 20/12/2023 01:03

She is totally crackers. You have done nothing wrong at all. Don’t give your prize away!

HoppingPavlova · 20/12/2023 01:04

Of course you have not done anything wrong. Your neighbour is batshit + 1.

Lorelaigilmore88 · 20/12/2023 01:04

Of course you did nothing wrong. She sounds like she's got a screw loose, imagine making a specific journey to someone's house to demand a prize you hadn't won!
Do not give her this prize. I know you probably want a quiet life but she'll be banking on that, she's a cf.

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:04

I won’t give it away, I promise!! it has crossed my mind though lol

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 20/12/2023 01:05

If this is real … She’s nuts. Enjoy it.

GrumpyPanda · 20/12/2023 01:06

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:00

I mean, I hope that’s all it is! Prior to this, we’ve always got on fine. We’ve lived next door to each other for around a year now.
I just dread the thought of having neighbour issues 😭

The woman's clearly a lunatic. If it wasn't this, no doubt she'd have been fully capable of coming up with something else in due course.

You did nothing wrong, and there's nothing much you can do about somebody like this.

SunsetsAndSandwiches · 20/12/2023 01:06

Please don't gift it to her, she's being ridiculous and you'll just enable her for future weirdness!

I'm sad for you as I feel like her behaviour will have tainted your prize. Please try to enjoy it and forget about her.

If she does cause any issues in future and you're feeling like you somehow brought this on yourself by not giving in to her this time, try to remember that people who behave like this would always find a way to make something an issue so its probably inevitable that future issues would have arisen even if you'd never won the raffle

GrumpyOldCrone · 20/12/2023 01:09

Congratulations on your win!

Your neighbour is a bit thick and seems to imagine that because you won it, therefore she almost won it, and in fact should have won it, but for an unfortunate trick of the universe.

It’s a pain in the arse, but it’s useful information because now you know what she’s like. Avoid!

PossumintheHouse · 20/12/2023 01:10

Holy shitballs. Your neighbour is bonkers. What an entitled and deluded madam. Was she drunk?!

PossumintheHouse · 20/12/2023 01:11

Also, come on: what was the prize?

Didydani · 20/12/2023 01:12

It doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong to me op. You entered the raffle and you won. There are winners and losers and she doesn't like that you've won.

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:12

Not as far as I could tell!

judging by the comments on Facebook, a lot of people had entered this raffle, so if it hadn’t been me entering it, somebody else would have won it anyway, if you see what I mean, not that she gave me any chance to defend myself because she stormed off!

OP posts:
MissBuffyAnneSummers · 20/12/2023 01:13

Your neighbour is off her head.

Didydani · 20/12/2023 01:14

Exactly. She doesn't like the fact you won and is taking it out on you. Ignore her in future if you can.

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:16

Some hair straighteners and a bunch of really lovely products! :)

OP posts:
mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:17

Ah .. it is real, I promise!

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 20/12/2023 01:20

Yep, nuts then.

Enjoy.

CantHaveTooMuchChocolate · 20/12/2023 01:21

I’m just wondering if you’d won the lottery or premium bonds she’d have marched round and demanded all/some of the winnings as well! Insane behaviour. Enjoy your prize and ignore her till she sees sense again😃

PossumintheHouse · 20/12/2023 01:21

Make your hair as straight as a giraffe tomorrow and give her a big smile.

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