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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - neighbour fallout

227 replies

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 00:52

I really don’t think I’ve done anything wrong here, but it’s weighing on my mind a lot so here I am…!

Recently, a small business in our village held a charity raffle to win a fairly high-end beauty product (worth approx £300). I didn’t actually know about this raffle until my next door neighbour mentioned it to me - (I personally have never used this business before so did not see that they had been advertising the raffle on their social media as I don’t follow them.)

The prize was something that I would love to have anyway, and so I entered the raffle.

I was very surprised to receive a phone call a couple of days ago to be told that I had won it! I went in to collect it. They asked if I would mind having my photo taken with the prize, and for the photo to be posted on their social media, which I was fine about. I was really pleased, I never win anything and it truly made my day!

They were completely lovely to me when I went into collect it, that I may well start using this business regularly now.

Anyway - this is where it all went a bit wrong ..
the following day, I bumped into my neighbour whilst having just left the house to walk the dog. Before I could say anything to her, she said to me, ‘I see you are the winner of the raffle then’ in quite a cool tone.. I replied, and told her that yes, I was really pleased and very thankful ..

The conversation was very quick as it was raining and I didn’t want to hang around, and to be honest, I didn’t give it much more thought after this.

But… I was absolutely gobsmacked to get a knock on the door this evening, from my neighbour. As it happens, I was going to deliver her Christmas card tonight anyway, and so I had it on the table by our front door so when she opened the door I said hi and said something along the lines of ‘oh while you’re here, let me give you this’.. and proceeded to try to give her the card, but she replied with, “ yeah, you can keep it… You realise that, if it hadn’t been for me, you would never have even known about the raffle, right?”…. I was a bit taken back by this, and I told her that I was grateful she had let me know about it. To which she said to me that I should be giving HER the prize because she had told me about it in the first place….! I laughed because I actually thought she was joking… but no, she was being completely serious..!

She said that because she is a single mum, it would have been very useful to her because she would’ve just sold it, and made herself a couple of hundred pounds towards Christmas. She then proceeded to tell me that I’m being completely selfish by not giving her the prize. Before I could say anything, she turned around and walked off..

Literally can somebody help me out here .. I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?!

I do have a tendency to overthink things, but I actually don’t think I am BU here??

Idly wondering if I should gift her the item for Christmas, as honestly cannot stand the thought of having any issues with neighbours..

OP posts:
MummyJ36 · 21/12/2023 18:52

My mum was a single mum (my dad died when I was young) and the very thought that this woman thought to use the single mum excuse for why she should have won a random raffle makes me so angry. OP you know deep down you didn’t do anything wrong and I would advise keeping your distance and not making any effort to smooth things over. She’ll realise eventually what an idiot she’s been and if she doesn’t then you’re better off not having anything to do with her anyway.

MagicFarawayTea · 21/12/2023 19:04

She’s fucking crazy. She suggested that you enter a competition. You won. Now she’s demanding you give her the prize. Now switch positions. Would you do this? Exactly.

PeachyPeachTrees · 21/12/2023 19:05

Enjoy your prize that you won fair and square.

Elly46 · 21/12/2023 19:06

No way, you’ve done nothing at all wrong. Please try to not worry any more and
enjoy the prize you rightfully won.

Sweetglossy · 21/12/2023 19:07

@mrsclaus1984 isn't this prize Botox?

Sweetglossy · 21/12/2023 19:08

No, I am not your neighbour lol

Doggomom91 · 21/12/2023 19:09

Omg, your neighbour sounds like a piece of work! I remember once I told a friend about a job and she applied and got it over me. Of course I was upset but I didn't order her to stand down 🤣 it wasn't her fault I didn't get it! I know this is a way bigger deal than a raffle but same principle. I think for her to be quietly cheesed off is reasonable, but to confront you about it this way says a lot about who she is as a person - entitled AF.

laraitopbanana · 21/12/2023 19:09

Don’t bother and forget as much this convo as possible.
it is a hard time for a lot and honestly to act like that doesn’t seem like a pleasure so she must have chewed on this for a while!!!
sorry this happened to you, ignore her until she apologizes if she ever does.

you have one card less to do next year :)

Firefly2009 · 21/12/2023 19:11

I would avoid this woman in future. You can't control it if she is this batshit. Just leave her be and say nothing else. Avoid!

laraitopbanana · 21/12/2023 19:13

@Doggomom91 I had a friend applying to the same job than me AFTER I helped her write her resume and cover letter 🤣🤣🤣
i just said in the interview that I wasn’t surprised we both got a shot as both application very similar…as I wrote both…and got the job.
people have some nerve!!!
and yes we stayed friends and no quibbles from it👏🏼

Cherrysoup · 21/12/2023 19:17

She’s totally unreasonable, obviously. Just because you bought tickets doesn’t mean she would have won if you hadn’t. She’s unhinged to come to tell you off. Who does that?!

oakleaffy · 21/12/2023 19:20

Your neighbour is nuts. Congrats on your win!

DO NOT give your jealous neighbour any of it...she will only sell it on.

oakleaffy · 21/12/2023 19:24

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:16

Some hair straighteners and a bunch of really lovely products! :)

As PP have said, straighten your hair to a glossy smoothness and enjoy your products!

Harls1969 · 21/12/2023 19:34

CF! She should have kept her gob shut if she didn't want anyone else entering the raffle! Honestly, some people. Hope you enjoy your prize op, stop doubting yourself

Callipygion · 21/12/2023 19:36

So she thinks only you and her entered the raffle, therefore if you hadn’t she would have won. Interesting. Is she related to Albert Einstein? Take a screw round and say, I think this is yours, you dropped it when you came round earlier. 🤣

OrigamiOwl · 21/12/2023 19:41

She's going to regret this next time she wants her garden watered whilst she's away 🤷🏻‍♀️

August1980 · 21/12/2023 19:43

It’s yours. Congratulations. Enjoy your prize and hope the small business are able to retain you as a long term client by providing a good service. Not your problem her being a single mum. Funnily, the single mum issue came up at work too, as the 2 mums in question claiming it’s a hardship. I wasn’t aware. One had a kid with someone she wasn’t actually with (just intermittent relationship) and the other someone else’s husband. Generally I find my team to very kind with holidays and picking up work load when kids are sick etc, but the expectation we were all contributing towards a hamper for them as they were single mums floored me. Especially as they earn the same as everyone else! I actually panicked and thought i was off the moral mark for not coordinating it when it was brought to my attention that we didn’t do anything. You enjoy your prize she can piss off!

MeridianB · 21/12/2023 19:45

This is not normal behaviour. She has shown you who she is. You did nothing wrong.

Diggerdriverless · 21/12/2023 19:48

She is being ridiculous! Other people could have told you about the raffle, as well as her. Someone had to win and the odds were against her. Don't apologise or gift her your prize and if she ever raises this again just laugh. Very loudly.

Notimeforidiots69 · 21/12/2023 19:50

I agree with everyone here, keep and enjoy the prizes! She's totally batshit! And unreasonable! What was she doing, hedging her bets on winning, out of all the entrants, so that she could sell the stuff to put towards Christmas?! Because that's definitely batshit!!! Congratulations on your win and enjoy hon! ❤❤❤

Immasucker · 21/12/2023 19:50

What a nasty, vindictive woman. It doesn't bode well for the future but I'd assume she is the sort to go off the deep end sooner or later, so definitely don't let her have your precious prize in the hopes of keeping her sweet!

HarrietStyles · 21/12/2023 19:51

If you’d said to her “Hey Debbie, it’s £100 million prize on the Euromillions tonight, why don’t you buy a ticket” and then the next day she won it, do you think she would give you the £100 mill because you mentioned it to her. Not a chance in hell she would. She’s a narcissistic cow, that’s all.

Ilovecleaning · 21/12/2023 19:59

Or… you could just bend over and ask her to kick you up the a**e! Are you serious? This woman has never left the school playground. Continue to be polite,smile sweetly and carry on.

Ilovecleaning · 21/12/2023 20:02

PS - congratulations on your win 🌺😊

endingintiers · 21/12/2023 20:11

My friend once entered a judged competition I had found and sent to her as I knew her photo was so good it would win. She won £1k voucher and offered to split it with me - which I declined as it was her work that had won it, I was just happy to have found it for her.

A raffle has no skill at all. If you hadn’t entered anyone else could have won. She is envious and taking it out on you. Do NOT gift her the item. Her behaviour is self-entitled and rude. At least you’ve seen her true colours. You only need to be civil with your neighbours.