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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - neighbour fallout

227 replies

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 00:52

I really don’t think I’ve done anything wrong here, but it’s weighing on my mind a lot so here I am…!

Recently, a small business in our village held a charity raffle to win a fairly high-end beauty product (worth approx £300). I didn’t actually know about this raffle until my next door neighbour mentioned it to me - (I personally have never used this business before so did not see that they had been advertising the raffle on their social media as I don’t follow them.)

The prize was something that I would love to have anyway, and so I entered the raffle.

I was very surprised to receive a phone call a couple of days ago to be told that I had won it! I went in to collect it. They asked if I would mind having my photo taken with the prize, and for the photo to be posted on their social media, which I was fine about. I was really pleased, I never win anything and it truly made my day!

They were completely lovely to me when I went into collect it, that I may well start using this business regularly now.

Anyway - this is where it all went a bit wrong ..
the following day, I bumped into my neighbour whilst having just left the house to walk the dog. Before I could say anything to her, she said to me, ‘I see you are the winner of the raffle then’ in quite a cool tone.. I replied, and told her that yes, I was really pleased and very thankful ..

The conversation was very quick as it was raining and I didn’t want to hang around, and to be honest, I didn’t give it much more thought after this.

But… I was absolutely gobsmacked to get a knock on the door this evening, from my neighbour. As it happens, I was going to deliver her Christmas card tonight anyway, and so I had it on the table by our front door so when she opened the door I said hi and said something along the lines of ‘oh while you’re here, let me give you this’.. and proceeded to try to give her the card, but she replied with, “ yeah, you can keep it… You realise that, if it hadn’t been for me, you would never have even known about the raffle, right?”…. I was a bit taken back by this, and I told her that I was grateful she had let me know about it. To which she said to me that I should be giving HER the prize because she had told me about it in the first place….! I laughed because I actually thought she was joking… but no, she was being completely serious..!

She said that because she is a single mum, it would have been very useful to her because she would’ve just sold it, and made herself a couple of hundred pounds towards Christmas. She then proceeded to tell me that I’m being completely selfish by not giving her the prize. Before I could say anything, she turned around and walked off..

Literally can somebody help me out here .. I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?!

I do have a tendency to overthink things, but I actually don’t think I am BU here??

Idly wondering if I should gift her the item for Christmas, as honestly cannot stand the thought of having any issues with neighbours..

OP posts:
TeaAndToddlers2023 · 20/12/2023 07:25

DarkForces · 20/12/2023 05:24

Just think of the time she's given you back as you'll no longer be watering her garden

This was my thought exactly

SuperSange · 20/12/2023 07:26

It's not like she needs it; she's told you she would sell it on. What a CF.

PhulNana · 20/12/2023 07:32

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:04

I won’t give it away, I promise!! it has crossed my mind though lol

Why on earth has it crossed your mind???

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 20/12/2023 07:39

She is jealous and completely bonkers.

Sodndashitall · 20/12/2023 07:42

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 01:12

Not as far as I could tell!

judging by the comments on Facebook, a lot of people had entered this raffle, so if it hadn’t been me entering it, somebody else would have won it anyway, if you see what I mean, not that she gave me any chance to defend myself because she stormed off!

If you want to keep the peace, let her know that in addition to her telling you, it popped up on your Facebook feed the day after so you'd have seen it either way

Bagwyllydiart · 20/12/2023 07:45

She sounds madder than a box of frogs. Ignore her OP.

ZombieGirl86 · 20/12/2023 07:50

PossumintheHouse · 20/12/2023 01:21

Make your hair as straight as a giraffe tomorrow and give her a big smile.

😅😅😅😅

Strictlymad · 20/12/2023 07:50

Some people are just absolutely crackers in their entitlement! I would just lie very low and enjoy your straight hair!

jhy · 20/12/2023 07:55

She clearly does not understand how competitions work.

fingerguns · 20/12/2023 07:57

Good lord! What a nutter.

JudyC26 · 20/12/2023 08:03

Enjoy your prize. She would have shown her true colours sooner or later so don’t worry about it. It’s her issue and not yours. If she mentions it again I’d suggest she contact the business and complain directly to them that she did not win a raffle possibly hundreds of other people had entered. See how mental that sounds?

LeggyLegsEleven · 20/12/2023 08:12

Why would you enter then if you were meant to hand the winnings straight over to her. What would be the point?

bananas

TimeIhadaNameChange · 20/12/2023 08:15

I've won two FB competitions that I only knew about through FB friends. In both cases the person who was responsible has been nothing but thrilled for me.

Your neighbour is batshit but at least you now know this.

Nicole1111 · 20/12/2023 08:18

The entitlement 😱

tinymeteor · 20/12/2023 08:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

emmetgirl · 20/12/2023 08:29

She sounds deranged.

wateraddict · 20/12/2023 08:55

The prize was won fair and square and your neighbour is unreasonable. Your neighbour may be feeling really hard up at the moment and stress about money might be contributing to her behaviour. You don't need to give it to her but not many people on this thread seem to have any empathy for a person who is in the first year of making it on her own and she may be having a hard time. Stay polite and pleasant and enjoy your prize!

EvilElsa · 20/12/2023 09:01

She's crackers.
Shrug it off and let her get on with it. Continue to say hi and smile, if she ignores you that's on her. No need for a fall out. If you don't rise to it hopefully she will realise in time that she's being ridiculous.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 09:31

YABVU.

By the way, I invented Euromillions, so, basically, anyone who wins is morally obliged to give me all the money because they'd never have won in it wasn't for me.

JustAGirlScotland · 20/12/2023 09:44

Oh you could have so much fun with this.

Every single time you see her do that dramatic hair flick thing you see in shampoo adverts and smile. If you are with someone loudly proclaim how fabulous X product is (that you won).

ManateeFair · 20/12/2023 09:54

Hahaha, your neighbour is completely nuts and apparently does not understand how a fucking raffle works. She's mad. Laugh and move on.

Cabdiraxman · 20/12/2023 09:57

She is jealous. If you hadn't taken part in the raffle, some else would have won it and not her.

TheCurlyKnobhead · 20/12/2023 09:57

FloofCloud · 20/12/2023 05:11

Completely batshit! How does she assume she'd have won them, unless she bought the tickets immediately after you ... and even that's a stretch... oh I know... she's a batshit CF of the highest order! She's not called Meghan Markle by any chance is she 🤔

How on earth did you manage to shoehorn Meghan Markle into the thread?!

Sharontheodopolodous · 20/12/2023 09:58

This reminds me of the Easter egg

Years ago,I was a skint single mum

We happened to pop into the charity shop and they had a raffle for an Easter egg that was at least 2 feet tall

The kids nagged me into entering-i just happened to find a pound in the bottom of my bag,so entered using my birth date just to shut them up and forgot all about it

I only went and won the damn thing

Kids told my mother (shes a narc),who went mental at me-i should have not only told her,but given it to her as well!

She didn't shop in this charity shop,she'd never been in it but somehow saw it as her prize as 'I never win anything!'

14 years on (I'm nc) it's still part of the smear campaign against me ('She didn't even share it with me...')

I wish I had given it to her as it was bloody foul

Iamnotalemming · 20/12/2023 10:01

Your neighbour seems to have a chip on her shoulder and thinks the world owes her one. You can't fix that even by giving her the prize, so don't.

Enjoy your raffle win and don't give her a second thought.