To just not send in a packed lunch?

[Unpackedlunch]

Ds is 3, started at a preschool in September. All fine, except it’s a packed lunch and ds doesn’t eat it. Every time he goes I send him with a sandwich, fruit and crisps and every time he comes back with the crisps eaten and nothing else.

I definitely don’t want to be That Parent and the staff are lovely and I don’t want to risk antagonising them, but I can’t see the point of wasting food. It’s also one more thing to do and I know it doesn’t take long but that’s not the point. Would it really be unreasonable to just not bother? It looks neglectful I know but equally what’s the point of sending in food for the sake of it?

@Unpackedlunch

do you not have bit of food, sticky fingers etc all over your house op if your child won’t eat at a table?

No

If I dropped ds off at presc and said ‘he’s had lunch at home’ you really think children’s services would be contacted, or interested? They really wouldn’t be. Even serious problems are being missed because of cutbacks and lack of funding.

Preschool teacher here, I am a little baffled as to why your previous post had the response it did. It is absolutely part of the job to encourage children to eat their lunch. I can't count the amount of times I have had parents asking us to keep encouraging their children to eat at lunchtime.
If you haven't already I would definitely have a chat with the staff about how lunchtime is ran and that DC may need encouragement or little prompts.
Failing that maybe send in some healthy packet snacks that they like. I have seen so many different types of lunches of preschoolers all different to suit the preferences of the child. I hope you find a solution soon.

Thanks @Preteachandmum . The staff really are lovely and so I didn’t want to be a pain I think I will go down the healthy snack route - that way he’ll at least hopefully eat something!

Starting school and having to sit at a table is going to be tough for your child, how do you intend to help him navigate that journey OP? It's only round the corner. All day without food is not going to help with concentration.

I’d drop the crisps, only because lots of schools don’t allow them, so it will help him get used to not having them when school starts.

Finger foods that last a bit longer may be better, cubes of cheese, cured sausage, carrot sticks, cut grapes etc.

But hey, what do I know, I’m Asian so we eat on the floor, so apparently we don’t know basic manners or social skills 🤷🏽‍♂️

He’ll be fine. He already does it, and I don’t think for a moment he is refusing to sit at the table. I think it’s more likely he sits at it, eats the crisps then wants to play.

Laugh all you want but I work in a secondary, if parents did not ensure access to lunch we absolutely would log a safeguarding concern.

So he’s eating the crisps then 😂

My opening post says that! I really don’t want to be rude but look

Every time he goes I send him with a sandwich, fruit and crisps and every time he comes back with the crisps eaten and nothing else

As a kid I wouldn’t eat anything at all I was really thin and had countless trips to the doctor to be told if I didn’t eat I would be tube fed (not the right approach but that’s what they did years ago)

that didn’t stop my mum making me a breakfast/lunch & tea everyday in the hope one day I would just eat something

no lunch is a huge concern. If it's poverty we can signpost to help etc.

Why not ask the Preschool what they do for lunch and what his behaviour is like during it, and see if that gives you any more info.

I was very underweight. I just didn't want/need food.

I saw a post a while back and it transformed how I felt about the waste of food not being eaten time and time again. It pointed out that pages of paper with nothing more than a scribble aren’t seen as a waste when teaching a child to write/draw/colour so uneaten food shouldn’t be either when teaching a child how/what/when to eat. It’s not just about fulfilling hunger, it’s the social element of eating together, using cutlery, textures, tastes, recognising when full etc.
I get the frustration and the financial element of so much wasted food too but you obviously cannot send them in with no lunch!

No judgment but I think you need to focus more on widening your child’s food preferences, replacing some lunch ideas and have a talk with the preschool.

if I had a sandwich and crisps every single day I would get bored stiff with it. They’re not so different.

It’s not every day, because he isn’t at preschool every day he’s been doing Tuesday mornings and Thursday afternoons. Normally he doesn’t have lunch Tuesdays but did today.

So again, how will he cope with sitting to eat lunch at school? Particularly if you don't send in lunch to pre school? Are you suggesting you just send in lunch for a full days school?

Clearly you needed it if you were very underweight, that comes with health risks

Definitely drop the crisps. My difficult to please kid takes crackers and humus/ yoghurt and fruit/ falafel and rice etc. he eats them, but if crisps were available he would definitely just eat the crisps.
Can you change up the bread? Pita instead of sandwich? Rolls?

@Goodlard , you’re acting like he never sits at a table when I say clearly he does at nursery, sits fine in cafes etc and yes, at home. What I don’t do is insist that once he gets down from the table there is No More Food.

Besides, he won’t be starting school until September 2025 which is what, twenty one months away? That’s a hell of a long time in the context of a young child.

So how will not sending in lunch and letting him just eat crisps assist with the transition?

Bad habits are hard to break, this is a bad habit indeed.

YABVVVU not sending a lunch to pre school for your child.

I have this, I've started putting in less. A few crackers, cheese and a yoghurt. Less choice and if he's hungry he'll eat it.

If we revert back to not eating, I'll just send him school dinners and see if that makes a difference. Something different everyday.

Hate wasting food too but think you might be frowned upon for not sending anything

but I just wasn't hungry. I felt the same as a teenager.

Inevitable never ate lunch due to medication. So I'd send in stuff that could stay on lunch box all week mini breadsticks, popcorn, peperami, jelly fruit pots, fruit pots in juice, fruit pouch, soreen bars,

i weighed 6st 9lb