Page 19 | To think being asked for money at work like this is not ok?

Floopani · 19/12/2023 17:49

MargotBamborough · 19/12/2023 17:22

One more time, the OP has said NOTHING to indicate that any of the specific people she is being asked to buy presents for ARE in the same stage of life/have the same outgoings as her.

These 30 year old secretaries with kids in full time nursery who work at the OP's company may not exist.

The OP does exist and she only has 58 quid in her bank account. Jeez.

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But the admins over 50 with no children and partners earning more than the OP do , are entirely undeserving and make up the entire admin workforce?

Maybe it's OPs payday tomorrow? Who knows, we can all speculate.

Vintageport · 19/12/2023 17:50

MargotBamborough · 19/12/2023 17:24

That's fascinating, and also completely irrelevant to the thread.

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It’s irrelevant to the op- its purpose is to explain the situation to you. You have shown you don’t understand that there is a difference between being broke on the 30th because you have spent all your money on things that you chose, and being broke on the 30th because you aren’t paid enough to cover the basics.

someone with a salary of £63000 who spends all their money on stuff but has a house/car/phone/holiday to show for it, and someone who is on a salary of £20000 who spends all their money on just getting by and has nothing to show for it at the end (except having managed to exist for another month) are not in an equal or comparable position- your insistence that they are is pure nonsense.

Nothingbuttheglory · 19/12/2023 17:50

Some of us don't give a shit what our petty colleagues think about these kind of things.

😂 I guess that's fine, as long as you'll never be reliant on their goodwill for anything.

Foodylicious · 19/12/2023 17:55

I think you post would have gone down better had you said " ugh, colleagues putting on pressure to contribute to admin gift, I only have £58 in my bank until pay day, what to I do/say?"

If you think the amount you earn, doesn't equate to you having enough to easily contribute, then why mention it?

Also, if you can't afford to pay £65 (ish) a day in nursery fees, then can you consider a childminder?
You can probably find one for around £35-45 a day.

1975wasthebest · 19/12/2023 17:56

Nothingbuttheglory · 19/12/2023 17:50

Some of us don't give a shit what our petty colleagues think about these kind of things.

😂 I guess that's fine, as long as you'll never be reliant on their goodwill for anything.

It’s all good as long as they do their job properly.

Helpisneeded100 · 19/12/2023 17:58

Op, it sounds as if your bills are not split 50/50 with your DP? Are you paying all of the bills?

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 19/12/2023 17:58

I see why you didn't reply in the group chat. I'd have replied to the first email, though, saying 'Sorry, things are really tight at the moment and I can't afford this."

Hooplahooping · 19/12/2023 17:59

I hate this. It’s the companies job to pay them properly - and to award Christmas bonuses.

it shouldn’t be an expectation that other paid employees should chip in for extra presents to make up for bad pay.

of course support staff deserve nice things. But middle management shouldnt be held responsible for filling a gap. And certainly shouldnt be publically asked to give a specific amount. Very very poor form!

Zanatdy · 19/12/2023 17:59

I earn 63k and trust me if I had to pay childcare fees now I’d be in the same boat. Years ago I’d have thought 63k is a really high salary, and I know it’s a lot more than many other. But it’s 3.5k take home, my rent is £1400 and I’ve got 3 children, one at Uni so helping finance that as student loan is minimal due to my income. Im a single parent and many of the lower paid staff in my teams are in a much more favourable financial position than I am. All living in big houses they bought for pennies back in the 70/80’s. Yet I sleep on the sofa when all my kids are at mine. They think I am in a great position and almost recoil when I tell them I’m renting and trying to buy. If I do buy my mortgage will be almost half my salary. I will need a second job, which won’t bring in a huge amount due to 40% tax. Honestly, people look at a figure and have no idea what the reality is. I’d probably pay in a tenner and I usually do, but it does frustrate me people think I’ve got more spare cash than lower paid staff when it’s not true

Lopella · 19/12/2023 18:00

xmasmoney · 19/12/2023 09:34

@Autumnalday @MargotBamborough i genuinely cant understand how 1,550 on nursery fees (after the tax free part), doesn’t explain why I have no money left at the end of the month? 63k after tax and student loans is not much more than that and I have a mortgage, food, petrol costs. Do people think 63k is easily covering this stuff because sadly it is very tight

Maybe because there are people paying those same nursery fees (or higher in my case) on much much lower wages?

Beenalongwinter · 19/12/2023 18:00

Lots of valid comments.
It is also perfectly acceptable to say you have already made your own arrangements to show your appreciation with a small gift of your own.
Which could be chocolates , mince pies, home made jams, pickles, candles or soaps or nothing and you just want to do your own thing .

CommonOrNot · 19/12/2023 18:02

Skincarehelp23 · 19/12/2023 08:56

I work in an office role, on 27k. My colleagues had a whip round for us and gave us very generous gifts. It lovely, but honestly a bit patronising. I can afford my own stuff. I think a box of chocs/bottle of wine would have been better. Long story short, don't worry, you don't need to contribute and even if you, a couple or quid is fine!

Patronising? My god, how wet.

Serene135 · 19/12/2023 18:04

I think the point here is that they shouldn’t be harassing a colleague to give money and calling it a voluntary contribution. If someone hasn’t responded to the initial message then isn’t it obvious that they don’t want to contribute?! The person being asked might not have a lot of money or they might not like the person(s) that the collection is for. I really do get annoyed at this expectation at Christmas that you have to contribute to gifts/vouchers for others who are not family or friends. There’s a collection for this person and a collection for that person. They should not have sent message after message asking her to contribute.

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 19/12/2023 18:04

Many of the lower-paid staff where I work have spouses in higher paid jobs; they are in the low-paid, low-stress job because it allows them to fulfil family commitments but their household income is far more than, say, a single-income middle manager.

Mememe9898 · 19/12/2023 18:06

Vintageport · 19/12/2023 17:20

We do know how much the op’s nursery costs are because she put it in her post. It’s £1500- it’s irrelevant that you have paid £3500.

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It’s to make a point that she only added her nursery fees that’s £1500. What about her other bills. Her mortgage could be £2000 a month and she’s left with nothing after that.

AnneValentine · 19/12/2023 18:07

xmasmoney · 19/12/2023 09:34

@Autumnalday @MargotBamborough i genuinely cant understand how 1,550 on nursery fees (after the tax free part), doesn’t explain why I have no money left at the end of the month? 63k after tax and student loans is not much more than that and I have a mortgage, food, petrol costs. Do people think 63k is easily covering this stuff because sadly it is very tight

Because the people berating you have never seen a nursery bill in their lives.

LegoDeathTrap · 19/12/2023 18:09

“However I am only on 63k” 🤮🤮🤮🤮

BeckyBoo1224 · 19/12/2023 18:09

As you're "Only on 63k" I don't think you could possibly spare a penny.

Partypop · 19/12/2023 18:09

Nah, I never bother with work contributions…the funniest was when we were being asked to contribute for a massive leaving gift for a senior manager (who wasn’t even that great at his job) who took a huge leaving package and must have been on a 6 figure salary. I get if his mates wanted to do something but the whole team being asked was just a bit tone deaf, especially when lots were going through redundancy

MuckyPlucky · 19/12/2023 18:11

You’re struggling to afford your £1200 nursery fees, on a personal income of £67k plus another household income…

So how do you think your lone parent secretary earning a third of your salary affords her £1200 nursery fees? 🤔

You’re not the only person with a child in nursery, yet you’re paid far higher than the vast proportion of nursery parents. And you begrudge a fiver for a box of thank-you chocolates for the support they provide you which enables you to do your role and collect your fat salary.

Bah Humbug OP.

arewedoneyet · 19/12/2023 18:11

xmasmoney · 19/12/2023 08:48

I don’t know if I’m feeling sensitive about money and actually this is totally reasonable…

We have one dc in full time nursery costing 1500 a month. I work for a professional services company and we have a lot of support staff. We are seen to be paid huge money. However I am only on 63k and we are struggling so much at the moment, some people more senior are on well over this with grown up dc. A month ago a Teams message was started by someone senior saying does anyone want to pitch in for a gift for the secretaries. I found this very inappropriate on teams as it was difficult to say no in a group chat.

I know the answer in practice is just don’t give anything if you can’t afford it but I’ve since been chased on a separate teams message asking if I am contributing and when I ignored that I got an email.

I feel this puts so much pressure on people and think it is massively inappropriate thing to do at work? Am I being a dick?

You're on £63k and can't spare a couple of pounds for people who probably earn half of what you do.

arewedoneyet · 19/12/2023 18:13

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 19/12/2023 18:04

Many of the lower-paid staff where I work have spouses in higher paid jobs; they are in the low-paid, low-stress job because it allows them to fulfil family commitments but their household income is far more than, say, a single-income middle manager.

That's an absolute joke that lower-paid jobs are low stress

Princesspollyyy · 19/12/2023 18:14

Sorry you are only on £63k? Oh that's not much is it? How on earth do you manage that?? Do you have to go to the food bank and community fridge in your area? Do you go without so your children can have the essentials they need? Do you regularly not pay bills because you have to juggle which one is most important?

Get a grip of yourself and stop being so tight. YABU.

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 19/12/2023 18:15

arewedoneyet · 19/12/2023 18:13

That's an absolute joke that lower-paid jobs are low stress

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It depends on what the role is - not all lower paid jobs, obviously. I'm talking about admin roles.

MargotBamborough · 19/12/2023 18:16

Vintageport · 19/12/2023 17:50

It’s irrelevant to the op- its purpose is to explain the situation to you. You have shown you don’t understand that there is a difference between being broke on the 30th because you have spent all your money on things that you chose, and being broke on the 30th because you aren’t paid enough to cover the basics.

someone with a salary of £63000 who spends all their money on stuff but has a house/car/phone/holiday to show for it, and someone who is on a salary of £20000 who spends all their money on just getting by and has nothing to show for it at the end (except having managed to exist for another month) are not in an equal or comparable position- your insistence that they are is pure nonsense.

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We don't know what the OP has spent her income on.

I explained earlier on in the thread how paying her nursery fees and a very modest mortgage of £220k at today's interest rates would leave her with £750 a month left for all her other bills including food, utilities and transport. Things such as having a phone are also not really optional luxuries in 2023. It's not actually that hard to see how she could have £58 in her bank account at the end of the month, and £58 is £58. It means you're skint, in the same way that someone on a lower salary who has £58 to their name is skint.

But feel free to go on assuming she must be going on lavish holidays or whatever if it makes you feel morally justified in putting the boot in.