To think being asked for money at work like this is not ok?

[xmasmoney]

I don’t know if I’m feeling sensitive about money and actually this is totally reasonable…

We have one dc in full time nursery costing 1500 a month. I work for a professional services company and we have a lot of support staff. We are seen to be paid huge money. However I am only on 63k and we are struggling so much at the moment, some people more senior are on well over this with grown up dc. A month ago a Teams message was started by someone senior saying does anyone want to pitch in for a gift for the secretaries. I found this very inappropriate on teams as it was difficult to say no in a group chat.

I know the answer in practice is just don’t give anything if you can’t afford it but I’ve since been chased on a separate teams message asking if I am contributing and when I ignored that I got an email.

I feel this puts so much pressure on people and think it is massively inappropriate thing to do at work? Am I being a dick?

Just reply to an email saying you don't t have spare money this Xmas

Silly OP should have been born 15 years earlier when a two bed starter flat wasn't "silly expensive", eh?

You need to check your own facts.

The hypothetical OP would be eligible for the free hours until earning 100k taxable.

The OP states they are eligible and benefiting from salary sacrifice schemes (tax subsidies) which are particularly beneficial to high earners.

The OP will be getting a bigger tax subsidy on their pension contributions than lower earners.

The OP didn't actually mention anything about student loans until posters here suggested it and even then didn't claim to be actually paying them. If in early 30s having attended university as a home student in England after school they would also be on the old scheme of loans and lower fee regimes.

The OP did mention that they are aware of these annual collections ie there was time to budget a whole ten quid but they failed to plan and have built up credit card debt.

Median income in London ranges from about 27k in poorer boroughs to just over 40k in Kensington and Chelsea which is significantly above the others.

However you try to cut it, 63k individual and a minimum of 80k plus household income is not low and teh OP is also "taking" from the system, not just putting in.

So your partner also earns 60 odd k or more? Or a normal salary? Because you are at least top 5% and you must know that. You must. No teacher even on ups3 without tlr1 could get anywhere near. No nurse. Many Dr's.

I'm just aghast that someone can be so bad at managing their money. And somehow hold down a very well paid job whilst not being able to "hack" basic life. Two of them in one household.

I'd put up your share OP. I'm a single mum on minimum wage and don't like seeing people suffer.

@xmasmoney If you are still reading, you may want to consider raising this with the organiser in a polite way.

Something like this:

"I know it is traditional for senior members of staff to contribute to Christmas gifts for admin staff on the grounds that they aren't as well paid as us. However, taking the view that senior staff are well paid enough to afford this is somewhat simplistic, especially in the current economic climate. My salary is lower than that of other senior people due to my level of experience, and I am the main breadwinner supporting my family with very high outgoings. This year I really have no spare cash at all, but feel awkward saying so or declining to contribute because on paper I earn a decent salary. I don't know whether anyone else is in the same boat but I think it is increasingly difficult to make assumptions about what people can afford, especially given people's vastly different circumstances in terms of housing costs, childcare and student loans, which are largely age dependent. I also think that if admin staff are seen to be more deserving or more in need of a gift at Christmas due to their lower salaries, it will make a bigger difference to them if the business can ensure that they are getting inflation beating pay rises each year and ideally some sort of Christmas bonus. It is far more transparent to thank admin staff officially, taking into account what the business can afford based on known and transparent factors, than it is to ask individual members of staff to contribute when their own financial circumstances are not known."

You are being unreasonable - and a dick!! "Only 63k" - THAT'S LUCKY!! Send over a tenner for the seccys, stop being miserable. I don't get paid anywhere near 63k and I give money every year for the cleaners pot, the admin staff pot, the charity pot... The support staff deserve it more than you think.

You seem to be rather au fait with other peoples' salaries within your company, and not just them, but the income of their partners etc. I can only assume that they know the ins and outs of your finances too, and therefore should know that you're in dire straits at the moment and that you can't afford a couple of quid for the team who support you all year.

I would get out the sock puppets AND the crayons, just to be on the safe side.

Yes, chasing people individually is not on.

ignore the comments of ‘you should be able to afford it’. Nobody is privy to personal circumstances, and it is not the role of better paid employees to subsidise the wages of lower paid employees. It’s management responsibility to ensure people are paid fairly.

regarding showing appreciation to colleagues, if money is tight but you want to show gratitude i expensively, make them something (muffins, cake, knitted scarf etc).

I’ve had plenty of low paid jobs but I’ve never expected ‘presents’ from colleagues. It’s not written into peoples contract that you must give/receive presents.

My life isn’t subsidised by the OP! I certainly wouldn’t be insulting her, I agree she is not “rich”. Childcare is a huge drain on your finances. I do wonder how well she is budgeting not to even have a fiver. That’s her call though. Nobody has to gift anyone anything.

Only 63k? I’m getting excited for the min wage rise in April. Get a grip

Earning a lot of money does not equal working hard. It never has.

Same😂🫣

If you are struggling that much you are living above your means and need to adjust spending.

£1500 a month of nursery fees is very normal, on top of mortgage and other bills.

It's entirely plausible that her mortgage payment takes up almost her entire remaining net income after nursery costs, especially if her previous fixed rate has recently come to an end.

The management of the business who are on the high salaries should be the ones to reward staff with gifts etc, not co-workers. Let's also remember that the secretaries and admin staff should be valued through a reasonable wage which reflects their responsibilities. If it is about showing appreciation then surely a card or a kind word is enough? Why should the OP supplement their pay/remuneration?

It's not just income but outgoings that mean people struggle, especially at this time of year.

Who are you to tell other people to be quiet?

Errrr...don't secretaries working ft also need full time childcare too OP? At over 1k pcm? And they probs earn a third of your wage.

Do they? Says who?

They might all be in their 50s for all we know.

Someone with basic economic literacy who is sick and tired of seeing the same idiot responses time and time again on these threads.

"You're rich! I only earn half that! You shouldn't have such an expensive mortgage!"

But not quite enough to realise those with normal 25 to 50k salaries also pay the same for nursery, food, mortgage etc with no more help except child benefit.