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Original poster

To think they are all cheeky bastards

363 replies

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:05

I booked to go to a theatre show for the team I manage for our Christmas night out. We all agreed on the show and I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show.

I was expecting them to sort the money out that night and transfer the £20.

not one person has mentioned the money.

If your boss had booked a show for a Christmas night out would you assume it was a present or would you have been like “thanks for booking, here’s the cash”

OP posts:
Moreorlessmentallystable · 18/12/2023 21:55

If you didn't expressly say you'd be needing money sent I would have assumed this was a a work do paid for by the company.

Londonrach1 · 18/12/2023 21:57

Not sure... You need to be upfront here and ask for the money...I suspect they think you paying for them. I can see both sides so on fence re this. It be different if a colleague not a boss

Nanaof1 · 18/12/2023 22:02

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 20:13

Yep covered now and all good today. Everyone just laughed at some things that happened and how drunk we were.

just chalked up to experience

Show quote history

You're a good soul, and you obviously care about the people you work with.

Next year, either skip it all or just do a restaurant thing with everyone knowing in advance that the onus for payment is on them.

AppleChristsBirthdayMacchiato · 19/12/2023 01:09

Treesinmygarden · 18/12/2023 15:30

It is NOT the norm in the public sector!!

Show quote history

Maybe not in the NHS (though others who have worked in the NHS say otherwise) but in my experience it very much is the norm in certain parts of the public sector, namely the museum sector and certain parts of the arts world (eg big theatres funded by DCMS).

It's not really okay to call people nasty names when clearly it is the norm in many many different industries.

velvetoptions · 19/12/2023 08:23

7 people
not one said thank you
not one offered to pay
not one does the op feel sufficiently close to, to have a chat about this with

This is not a happy team

how long have you managed them?

EmptyYoghurtPot · 19/12/2023 09:09

velvetoptions · 19/12/2023 08:23

7 people
not one said thank you
not one offered to pay
not one does the op feel sufficiently close to, to have a chat about this with

This is not a happy team

how long have you managed them?

Edited

It’s very sad that no one said thank you

velvetoptions · 19/12/2023 09:22

EmptyYoghurtPot · 19/12/2023 09:09

It’s very sad that no one said thank you

Show quote history

it rather depends on whether they may have had a hellish year under the OP’s management and the thought she’s spending £20 on them is too little too late

excelledyourself · 19/12/2023 09:41

No it doesn't.

If they think OP has paid for this, they should have thanked her

Otherwise, they should have declined the if they have such issues with how they have been managed.

There's never a good reason for bad manners.

Fraggeek · 19/12/2023 14:41

Seeing that this is the NHS, in almost 20 years being in the NHS I have never had a manager pay for anything like this.
One year we all got a mini bottle of wine but that was it.
I'm even more shocked that no one thought to say thank you!

velvetoptions · 19/12/2023 16:11

excelledyourself · 19/12/2023 09:41

No it doesn't.

If they think OP has paid for this, they should have thanked her

Otherwise, they should have declined the if they have such issues with how they have been managed.

There's never a good reason for bad manners.

some of the threads i have read on here about bosses… i imagine most would find it difficult to thank them. Abusive, cruel, undermining.

Who knows?

velvetoptions · 19/12/2023 16:12

but for 7 people
ALL the team not to have thanked it was either

a misunderstanding and thought employer cover
or
they all have a serious problem with the OP

because i don’t believe 7 individuals would ALL neglect to thank without good reason

velvetoptions · 19/12/2023 16:13

the fact that the Op calls her entire team “cheeky bastards” i find quite telling

peakygold · 19/12/2023 17:51

If you are a ward manager, they know that you will have a budget for staff goodies, like bouquets for long-term sick staff, etc. I imagine they thought it was coming out of that.

CatMummyOf3 · 19/12/2023 18:27

As no-one has paid you, it sounds to me like you did not give any indication they were expected to.

I'm self-employed now, but if my previous boss had arranged an event and not said "tickets are £20 each, who's interested?" I would assume the company was paying. The company I worked for was very generous though 😃

CantFindMyMarbles · 19/12/2023 18:47

You expected money that night?!? Definitely cheeky.

Skyelils · 19/12/2023 18:50

You should have made it clear

Onestepbeyonnd · 19/12/2023 19:09

Don't leave it, create a WhatsApp group and send everyone a message, " had a great evening guys, would you please send me over the money for the show tickets, it's £20each... sorry, totally forgot all about it until I saw my bank statement 😆"

No-one is going to expect you to pay, they probably just waiting for you to tell them how much they owe.

housethatbuiltme · 19/12/2023 19:16

Onestepbeyonnd · 19/12/2023 19:09

Don't leave it, create a WhatsApp group and send everyone a message, " had a great evening guys, would you please send me over the money for the show tickets, it's £20each... sorry, totally forgot all about it until I saw my bank statement 😆"

No-one is going to expect you to pay, they probably just waiting for you to tell them how much they owe.

Except for the 3/4th of this thread who would totally expect it to be a Xmas gift from the boss since no cost was discussed and its a typical Xmas team building outing.

In law you cannot decide to create an loan contract after the fact and back charge someone for something they never agreed too.

MCO1981 · 19/12/2023 19:19

Tittyfilarious81 · 18/12/2023 12:09

I think it's just a misunderstanding and they thought the boss was paying for it

Totally agree.!!

Esmejean · 19/12/2023 19:31

I think I’d assume it was a Christmas bonus. If you wanted to be clear that you wanted the money, you should have made that clear when you first raised it.

Turnthelightoff · 19/12/2023 19:51

You should try to get your ££. Send a group chat message as suggested with your bank details and imply you were not on it straight away because you paid on a credit card so it’s not due immediately but you’ll need it by X date. If anyone says they thought it was a treat a breezy, I wish, this is the NHS remember/wish I could afford to treat you all as it was a great night and you deserve it type reply. If you are polite about it they may pay. If anyone hugely kicks off or pushes back, a response along the lines of I’m so sorry for confusion and will chalk this one up to experience but hope overall it won’t put the team off socialising in future.

Dickwadddddd · 19/12/2023 19:56

Terrible communication on your part. If my boss suggested an xmas do for my small team I’d assume they were paying unless they’d specifically stated otherwise.

Delatron · 19/12/2023 20:08

We had a very crucial update (quite a way in to the thread) that is was one of her team that suggested it. They booked the restaurant (so they were eating as well) and the OP said she’d book the theatre tickets. After the meal they all paid for their own food (I think).

So I do think this changes things slightly. If OP had said ‘let’s all go to the theatre I’ll book the tickets’ without checking or discussing costs then that implies a company do.

I do think OP should have said on the night after the meal - the theatre tickets were £20 I’ll send bank details (though they may just be waiting for her to do this?!). Or made it clear at the time of booking.

But it wasn’t purely her who suggested or organised the whole night.

I do think she can send a message saying ‘thanks for sorting the restaurant colleague I think everyone paid you? Theatre tickets were £20 here’s my bank details.’

The whole thing should have been better organised though.

VictoriaMum323 · 19/12/2023 20:37

‘’Hi team! Really looking forward to the theatre. Apologies I realise I hadn’t made it very clear earlier but the company is not picking up the tab for this. If you are in a position to make a contribution towards the tickets or drinks it will be gratefully received!’’

Theicingonthecake · 19/12/2023 21:23

I would personally wonder where the money was coming from and offer to transfer it over to you. But, similarly if you didn’t make it clear to them and ask for the payments to be transferred or a deposit to be paid then unfortunately that’s your bad.
I organised something a few years ago, it ended up getting snowed off but I was glad to have collected deposits and pay the venue before hand so it didn’t come out of my personal pocket.