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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they are all cheeky bastards

363 replies

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:05

I booked to go to a theatre show for the team I manage for our Christmas night out. We all agreed on the show and I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show.

I was expecting them to sort the money out that night and transfer the £20.

not one person has mentioned the money.

If your boss had booked a show for a Christmas night out would you assume it was a present or would you have been like “thanks for booking, here’s the cash”

OP posts:
moomoomoo27 · 18/12/2023 16:19

Welshmonster · 18/12/2023 16:14

Payment should have been mentioned and money secured prior to booking tickets. You may find people now don’t want to pay £20 and go to the pub with their colleagues instead
can you put it through as a tax expense as limited companies can make some claim for Christmas parties

not unless it was offered to every single employee at the company

Nappster · 18/12/2023 16:19

I have always had a Christmas do put on for us granted a large corporate firm, I recently moved to a different company that also put on a Christmas evening and we have a Christmas lunch for the smaller team, this is paid for by us as it was discussed and costs were made aware before the event, if no costs were mentioned then it is likely assumed the event is paid for by the company and not out of the boss’s pocket therefore why you haven’t specifically been thanked.

Astrid01 · 18/12/2023 16:22

I'm public sector and recently arranged an event for our whole team. The majority were aware it's not paid for but there were a couple of newbies. I just emailed my bank details with the cost per person after i had booked it.
If you just emailed saying it was booked then I think you have to suck it up I am afraid. If you haven't said anything yet then just send an email with your bank details on

TheClitterati · 18/12/2023 16:32

I know its not the case for all companies, but I have always worked for small businesses and I have never ever paid for a Christmas party or night out in my 35 odd years of work.

Bananabreadcrumbs · 18/12/2023 16:42

I would have assumed this was a gift if there was nothing mentioned about paying for it.

Maireas · 18/12/2023 16:42

This is NHS. Those of us in the public sector know that nothing is paid for. You always pay your own share. They're being cheeky.

G5000 · 18/12/2023 16:43

I invited my reports out to dinner. I paid. Because I invited them as a team, as their manager and I'm pretty sure they felt they should rather come if possible.
I do not expect to pay for such work events myself either. Would be different if I said that hey colleagues, who fancies a drink?

grumpycow1 · 18/12/2023 16:45

If the cost wasn’t mentioned when booking I would assumed it was somehow covered. Even if that’s not the norm.

ie Let’s go to X show, it’s £20 per person. Payment due by X date, I will book and send payment details later. Let me know if you would like to come.

Amba1998 · 18/12/2023 16:47

I’d expect it to be covered by the social budget. If not, I’d expect the email to say the company can’t pay because of xyz so it will be £20 each

Longma · 18/12/2023 16:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 16:49

i imagine there’s many a mumsnet thread about you from members of your team OP

and no doubt also started by your “friends” and family too

Luxell934 · 18/12/2023 16:55

Maireas · 18/12/2023 16:42

This is NHS. Those of us in the public sector know that nothing is paid for. You always pay your own share. They're being cheeky.

If their boss/supervisor organised it and no mention of payment was made then I'm guessing they assumed from OPs communication that SHE was paying herself for it as a team christmas treat?

Funny how there could be SEVEN cheeky fuckers in the same team....seems unlikely surely that not even ONE person offered to pay or asked what the cost would be....whats more likely is OP wasn't clear and made it seem like it was her treat.

Heronwatcher · 18/12/2023 17:00

Yeah sorry, unless you had said something like “it will be £20 per person” I would have assumed that there was some kind of central budget for a party/ team building. Even in the NHS you sometimes get this. Sorry but you need to be clearer if people are expected to pay for themselves so they can choose to decline if they can’t afford it.

Maireas · 18/12/2023 17:02

Luxell934 · 18/12/2023 16:55

If their boss/supervisor organised it and no mention of payment was made then I'm guessing they assumed from OPs communication that SHE was paying herself for it as a team christmas treat?

Funny how there could be SEVEN cheeky fuckers in the same team....seems unlikely surely that not even ONE person offered to pay or asked what the cost would be....whats more likely is OP wasn't clear and made it seem like it was her treat.

Show quote history

Yes, it could be that they thought it was her treat. They definitely know it's not the taxpayer!

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 17:02

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

i dour. anyone thought the NHS was picking up the tab

they reasonably assured their manager was paying for it out of her own pocket given the way she presented it to them

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 18/12/2023 17:06

PickledPurplePickle · 18/12/2023 12:13

I would assume it was a gift unless it was specifically mentioned that we were paying at the time of booking

This ^^

housethatbuiltme · 18/12/2023 17:08

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 18/12/2023 15:50

It's not too late to make it clear you bought the tickets with the expectation people would reimburse you. If they don't contact the box office and return those not paid for.

Theaters won't refund tickets in general, they almost always have a 'no cancellation' clause... they certainly won't refund USED tickets.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 18/12/2023 17:12

🤣
Oops didn't realise it was yesterday

Pineapples198 · 18/12/2023 17:14

For not one to have transferred it suggests you said something that made them think it was on you. Not an unreasonable assertion if it’s the boss booking it. Did you say “I’ll pay / I’ll buy them on my card?” Which could very easily mean it’s your treat. Or did you say “I’ll book them and everyone can transfer me the ticket amount”

Original poster
Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 17:16

I usually donate to food bank but that’s my donation to society this year. If they thought I was buying why not say thank you

OP posts:
escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 17:19

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 17:16

I usually donate to food bank but that’s my donation to society this year. If they thought I was buying why not say thank you

i suspect because you’re a terror of a boss that they all don’t like

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 17:19

you’ve spent a grand on calendars Op… so you have the funds!

Delatron · 18/12/2023 17:19

How would they even know how much to transfer and where to?

Luxell934 · 18/12/2023 17:19

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 17:16

I usually donate to food bank but that’s my donation to society this year. If they thought I was buying why not say thank you

We’ve no idea OP I guess only you and your team could answer that. Seems very strange out of 7 individual not one said thank you at any point.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 17:20

Luxell934 · 18/12/2023 17:19

We’ve no idea OP I guess only you and your team could answer that. Seems very strange out of 7 individual not one said thank you at any point.

Show quote history

we can hazard a guess why 7 people all chose not to thank their boss

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