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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they are all cheeky bastards

363 replies

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:05

I booked to go to a theatre show for the team I manage for our Christmas night out. We all agreed on the show and I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show.

I was expecting them to sort the money out that night and transfer the £20.

not one person has mentioned the money.

If your boss had booked a show for a Christmas night out would you assume it was a present or would you have been like “thanks for booking, here’s the cash”

OP posts:
EvilElsa · 18/12/2023 17:21

Maybe they don't know you paid personally? If you are that bothered and it's going to piss you off and cause a bad atmosphere just address it. Either ask for the money or return the gifts you have got them and say this was their present. Surely you have a relationship with these people? Seems to me it's just a miscommunication, I don't think they've gone out to rinse you.

VanityDiesHard · 18/12/2023 17:23

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 17:16

I usually donate to food bank but that’s my donation to society this year. If they thought I was buying why not say thank you

OK? Just give it a rest already!

TeenLifeMum · 18/12/2023 17:32

No one working in the nhs would assume their colleague earning £25k would cover this! (NHS worker here)

Notjustabrunette · 18/12/2023 17:37

I think when you are organizing, you have to be really clear. I have recently booked a night out with colleagues, and stated all prices in the initial email. Those who wanted to attend were sent a transfer request message the day I booked. Super clear to avoid any awkward confusion.

VanityDiesHard · 18/12/2023 17:40

TeenLifeMum · 18/12/2023 17:32

No one working in the nhs would assume their colleague earning £25k would cover this! (NHS worker here)

Why do you think that they would a) think that the OP was personally paying or b) know what she was earning?

Luxell934 · 18/12/2023 17:41

TeenLifeMum · 18/12/2023 17:32

No one working in the nhs would assume their colleague earning £25k would cover this! (NHS worker here)

Maybe they don't know their supervisors salary? I don't know how much my boss makes exactly.

and why haven't they paid then? or offered to pay atleast? Why has no-one mentioned it? I could see there being a few cheeky fuckers who would try to avoid this, but seven individual people on the same team? Unlikely.

Heronwatcher · 18/12/2023 17:49

They haven’t said thank you because they don’t realise that you’ve paid personally (like eleventy-billion others have said they might’ve thought it came out of a central team building fund). Which is hardly surprising because you haven’t told them, either that you were expecting to pay, or that you’ve paid personally. Do you work in NHS telepathy and clairvoyance?

Or they think you’re a bit of a PITA 🤷‍♀️

Next time, use your words and please stop proving those who think that NHS staff can’t organise a piss up in a brewery right.

Womencanlift · 18/12/2023 17:50

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 13:33

where on earth do you get paid to go on works do. I’ve always paid and never got anything free

Show quote history

Depends on the job I suppose. I have never had a job where we have had to pay for Christmas night out. And that ranges from jobs where I have earned a lot less than what you and your team are in to a lot more

So if it wasn’t clear and also your colleagues have had similar experiences of having funded Christmas events, then I can understand why it’s worked out like this

Daisybuttercup12345 · 18/12/2023 17:53

I think they believe its paid for by the company.
Your should have made it clear you expect payment when you suggested going.

MILTOBE · 18/12/2023 17:55

VanityDiesHard · 18/12/2023 17:40

Why do you think that they would a) think that the OP was personally paying or b) know what she was earning?

Show quote history

Everyone will know what their boss is earning in an organisation like the NHS.

OP, they're being very unfair and I think you should have asked for the money before the event. If they said they thought you were buying their tickets you would have had the chance to say you hardly earn more than they do.

MILTOBE · 18/12/2023 17:56

Daisybuttercup12345 · 18/12/2023 17:53

I think they believe its paid for by the company.
Your should have made it clear you expect payment when you suggested going.

Nobody working for the NHS would expect that the NHS was paying for those tickets!

VanityDiesHard · 18/12/2023 18:01

MILTOBE · 18/12/2023 17:55

Everyone will know what their boss is earning in an organisation like the NHS.

OP, they're being very unfair and I think you should have asked for the money before the event. If they said they thought you were buying their tickets you would have had the chance to say you hardly earn more than they do.

Show quote history

I don't agree that they are being very unfair. I am sure they thought it was a paid for night out. The OP will have to be clearer on future events.

TooTender · 18/12/2023 18:04

I would assume it was a present unless told otherwise but I would also be totally fine with receiving a polite email explaining that it wasn’t a present and asking for the money.

VanityDiesHard · 18/12/2023 18:07

TooTender · 18/12/2023 18:04

I would assume it was a present unless told otherwise but I would also be totally fine with receiving a polite email explaining that it wasn’t a present and asking for the money.

I wouldn't be, that horse has bolted.

ScattyGinger · 18/12/2023 18:11

It depends what they usually do for Christmas. We've been taken to the theatre and a sit down 3 course dinner covered by work so I wouldn't be surprised if they thought it was covered. Tricky if you didn't make it clear about costs and expectations beforehand.

BowlOfNoodles · 18/12/2023 18:20

They will assumed it was a treat

autienotnaughty · 18/12/2023 18:24

I would just message and say "hi forgot to mention again on Saturday tickets were £20 each can everyone pay asap. "

TeenLifeMum · 18/12/2023 18:26

@VanityDiesHard in the nhs we have pay bands that are clearly defined so we know what everyone is earning. There’s a bit of blurring when you get to the band 8s as there’s 8a, b, c and d but general pay is transparent so they’d know.

shepherdsangeldelight · 18/12/2023 18:30

autienotnaughty · 18/12/2023 18:24

I would just message and say "hi forgot to mention again on Saturday tickets were £20 each can everyone pay asap. "

The trouble with this is that people may not be able to find £20 so close to Christmas, and may not have chosen to go to the show if it had been made clear in advance that they were expected to pay.

I've had Christmas events that were paid for and ones that were not. But I don't think I've ever been to a Christmas event that I was expected to pay for myself where I didn't have to pay at least a deposit in advance. Organisers of Christmas events are generally aware that some people duck out and don't pay! Simply by not asking for the money before the show, OP has given the impression that she was paying for it.

Original poster
Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 18:32

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 17:19

you’ve spent a grand on calendars Op… so you have the funds!

Sorry?

OP posts:
Original poster
Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 18:33

TeenLifeMum · 18/12/2023 17:32

No one working in the nhs would assume their colleague earning £25k would cover this! (NHS worker here)

That’s exactly my thinking

OP posts:
Original poster
Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 18:34

Heronwatcher · 18/12/2023 17:49

They haven’t said thank you because they don’t realise that you’ve paid personally (like eleventy-billion others have said they might’ve thought it came out of a central team building fund). Which is hardly surprising because you haven’t told them, either that you were expecting to pay, or that you’ve paid personally. Do you work in NHS telepathy and clairvoyance?

Or they think you’re a bit of a PITA 🤷‍♀️

Next time, use your words and please stop proving those who think that NHS staff can’t organise a piss up in a brewery right.

Nice one

OP posts:
escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

escapethemaze · 18/12/2023 18:38

either they think you treated them
or
they all imagine that you did indeed pay for it but they have all decided to feign ignorance as a sort of revenge for a hellish year under your management

MILTOBE · 18/12/2023 18:39

How was it decided that you'd all go to the event? Did you suggest it? Do you have the email if so?