To think it was weird to show up with prawns?

[prawngate]

Last night had a gathering at DM’s - DB and I plus spouses and our children.

Anyway while we were cooking DM’s phone kept ringing- her DB is calling. After a while I said we need to answer because I was worried something was wrong. In any case he then started ringing me I picked up and he checks we’re at DMs and announces he and new GF are joining us.
He goes on to say they’re bringing prawns and wants to know if we have garlic and lemon.

DM says she did mention we were getting together to him a couple of months ago but he was non committal and didn’t bring it up again.

They show up a few hours later and the new GF has a massive bag of raw prawns - with heads and eyes. She starts skinning them and stuff pulling bits out and giving my mum - who has already cooked a huge buffet for us complete with beef rib and gammon - instructions on what she needs and complaining there isn’t enough lemon.

Apparently the prawns were quite nice (I didn’t want to try them with the heads) but she sat and started cutting huge chunks of prime beef rib off and ate a TON which annoyed DB and I because we were each taking some leftovers home 🤣

Anyway AIBU to say it’s weird to show up to someone else’s Xmas do with a bag of raw prawns and then expect them to supply you with the things to cook it? (And to sit and eat other people’s leftovers)

Your uncle and his partner were invited though.

The reality is he was invited before. You say so yourself but was non committal. So he had been invited and hadn't yet said no. Hence he called and asked if it was still on. As it was a buffet they provably felt they should contribute something to it. Perhaps they had the prawns already and thought it was a good thing to bring anyway as your uncle as vegetarian wouldn't eat them but here was a whole family (except a picky eater niece) who would.

You are basically passed off that you didn't have leftover beef for your lunch today! Your mum however did invite her brother and he came.

But they hadn't accepted the invite.

It sounds like your uncle thought he had been invited, so just a miscommunication there.

Cooking prawns at somebody else's house is weird to me but meh. Perhaps it's her "signature dish" and something she wanted to do to try to impress or something.

I'd be bloody delighted if someone arrived with fresh prawns...yum. Lighten up a bit as she sounds like a nice person and she wanted to contribute something. Better than coming empty handed!

Read this after I posted. I agree!

You'd have been pissed off if they turned up empty handed too.

I’m with you OP, all very bewildering, but I get the sense you and I both are not from prawn families. It seems prawn families REALLY like prawns and would fully welcome and random bag of them 😄. New girlfriend is clearly from a Prawn Family. And therein lies the culture clash.

Also know what you mean about uncle and his partner showing up when you just wanted it to be your parents and sibling and families. Totally changed the vibe.

DM says she did mention we were getting together to him a couple of months ago but he was non committal and didn’t bring it up again

They were invited guests. They annoyingly hadn't replied, but definitely invited.

They were invited

OP tries to make out they werent invited

He was invited and didnt decline and in fact then later rang to check its still going ahead and they were coming

Thats accepting the invite, thats how some people are. Its not some formal black tie event, its a bit of a nibble and lunch round his sisters house. Do you think there should have been a hand written RSPV in gold pen or something to confirm?

It sounds disorganised, I think they should have prepared them first. However I think they probably tasted good! If you go to their house you know what to bring!

I'd be annoyed if I was your mum, someone bringing extra food but expecting me to cook it when I've already done all the prep and cooking for the buffet food. But I don't see why you're annoyed? The only "slight" against you is that there was no beef leftover.

So, why the formality? It's a buffet. I bet you have a butler announcing guests as they arrive 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I love prawns and think this is nuts 😅😅😅

Had they been drinking beforehand and bought them from one of those seafood vans that you randomly get outside some pubs????

OP says they mentioned to uncle that they were getting together this weekend a few months ago. That ≠ an invite.

Im going to the theatre tonight, I don’t expect all of you to come with me now that I’ve mentioned it 😄

Sounds delicious, and they were invited they just hadn't confirmed and that's on your uncle not his girlfriend.
My family are quite like this still always turn up with things to share. I see it as generosity

I’d be pleased if someone brought raw prawns because I love them and they are quite expensive. I would think it slightly unusual but not ‘weird’.

This, in spades. What a mean spirited whinge.

But your mum said she mentioned it to them - which was clearly intepreted as an invite.

It sounds like it was a get-together for your mum's immediate family, in her eyes, and that included her DB.

I think it is quite usual to be served fresh prawns with the heads and eyes and have to remove them as you eat.

They sound delicious.
Was your mother pleased to have her brother there at the end ofthe day? I bet she was and that is what matters..

Thing is you'd want to serve them straight away. If you cook them ahead of time and transport them they are no way as good. I come from a 'seafood loving' family and this would be a real treat!

The way I read it they were invited?

Bit odd to bring something that needs cooked, not especially prawns, I'd say the same if it was steak or chicken or something that had to be cooked.

YABU about the beef.

Can you imagine what you'd pay for that in a restaurant.

I often take quite expensive stuff round to my parents to cook up or for them to help as well, they wouldnt have it otherwise.

Not strange to bring the prawns. But she should have also brought everything she needed to go with the prawns she was making. And turn up early to prepare them.

Wow you are so full of the Christmas spirit aren’t you!
Not sure how she could have eaten your left overs. Surely the left overs are only such once everyone has eaten their fill?