To think it was weird to show up with prawns?

[prawngate]

Last night had a gathering at DM’s - DB and I plus spouses and our children.

Anyway while we were cooking DM’s phone kept ringing- her DB is calling. After a while I said we need to answer because I was worried something was wrong. In any case he then started ringing me I picked up and he checks we’re at DMs and announces he and new GF are joining us.
He goes on to say they’re bringing prawns and wants to know if we have garlic and lemon.

DM says she did mention we were getting together to him a couple of months ago but he was non committal and didn’t bring it up again.

They show up a few hours later and the new GF has a massive bag of raw prawns - with heads and eyes. She starts skinning them and stuff pulling bits out and giving my mum - who has already cooked a huge buffet for us complete with beef rib and gammon - instructions on what she needs and complaining there isn’t enough lemon.

Apparently the prawns were quite nice (I didn’t want to try them with the heads) but she sat and started cutting huge chunks of prime beef rib off and ate a TON which annoyed DB and I because we were each taking some leftovers home 🤣

Anyway AIBU to say it’s weird to show up to someone else’s Xmas do with a bag of raw prawns and then expect them to supply you with the things to cook it? (And to sit and eat other people’s leftovers)

Prawn go dooka dooka.

Was she Aussie? It's a total given here to bring prawns at Xmas.

I think it’s rude. Bringing your own food and then preparing it and behaving in that manner like you expect the host to have lemon etc available. It would give me the impression you were expecting not to like the food and therefore brought your own and when you weren’t even invited! Why not bring it prepared and ready to add to the buffet? And eating a third of the beef? I think it’s rude and bizarre behaviour, like they turned up starving because they had nothing better to do after a night on the booze. I would be annoyed too.

The prawn business is quite normal, she would hardly have taken the heads off before attending, the idea is that the prawns are fresh and once decapitated, they are not. I don't eat prawns or any shellfish but even I know that, I've frequently seen them eaten. Maybe the girl should have thought of bringing lemon but most people do have a lemon or a little bottle of lemon juice so that was a minor oversight.

As for eating 'a third of the beef', I wonder if she really did consume a third or just appeared to eat a fair bit. Presumably guests, and I don't know how many, were encouraged to tuck in, that is the usual thing, and she did not arrive empty handed.

Just a comment on the beef consumption -

I don't blame OP for raising her eyebrows. With a buffet or a party for a large number, obviously correspondingly large quantities of food are on offer. This doesn't mean people should take more than their fair share! It's a huge problem for caterers (I know some, who've told me about 'buffet syndrome') where, just because it might be a huge plate of beef, you are only supposed to take your share (one 12th, one 20th, or whatever). That's basic good manners!

At events this thoughtless greed means that others go without their fair share, because someone saw a huge plate of beef and loaded their plate.

The “prawn business” in the UK is not normal. If you live in Oz, where you can quickly put prawns on the barby, fine. Delicious and welcome. If you live in France, and you might expect a guest to bring prawns and you can go chop chop sizzle in a hurry because you anticipated a bag of prawns, fine. But if someone brought me prawns unexpectedly, I’d think right, this is weird, now I need to stop and interrupt my hosting, grab a pan and cook, in addition to my plentiful array of dishes that I’ve already toiled over! Not ideal. Normally you would bring a no-prep-needed dish to someone’s house if pre-planned.

Is she Scandinavian by any chance?

I'm lost, is DB 'Dear Brother'?
Would ye not just say 'my uncle'? 😅

Yes

This is one of those could be perceived unreasonable or not depending on who is asking. Most of the posters on here don’t, some do, you clearly do and it doesn’t matter that there are 14 pages of people most of whom are saying it’s ok, you will still think it’s unreasonable but there you go… I’d love it but It’s unreasonable if you think it is! I also bet you read the Daily Mail 🤣

I think it sounds fun and a bit quirky.
Maybe you need to lighten up!

Ooh weird, can’t be weird. Kill the outsider!

You sound really unkind. The prawns was her bringing something to the gathering.

she’s also allowed to eat the buffet

Is she English this sounds like something my Spanish in-laws would do?

You can’t call dibs on leftovers before people have finished eating

Well it's totally normal then in scandi culture too. I'd be pretty grateful. They're hugh value and so it anything most people would think it a very generous addition to the table.

I agree, that sounded unbelievably mean.

It's not that unusual here for prawn eaters, which a lot of people are. How else would you bring them?

She didn’t belong?? You are annoyed there was no left overs for you??
how entitled are you??
she could be a permanent fixture family wise soon and you’ve made an awful judgment of her straight away.

What does DB mean? If it’s brother - he’s your uncle? Your mum’s brother? He probably thought she’d have lemon handy? You sound very unwelcoming and a bit uptight.

haha this deffo

To be fair, eating a third of a prime beef joint that was meant to feed 10 people is more entitled.

If she actually ate a third, mottytotty, that sounds hyperbolic to me. I'd be interested to know what the other guests thought, if anything.

OP, you should genuinely consider this wonderful news, I have Scandinavian inlaws and it's heaven visiting or being visited by them, gifting food and serving delicious seafood is the norm. Bringing fresh prawns to a family gathering makes absolute perfect sense in this context, no more mystery. Cultivate her, don't let your uncle leave her, and develop a taste for pickled fish and you're set for life.

@PrawnLiberationFront 🤣

I already like her very much but I will not be eating any picked fish!!!