Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it was weird to show up with prawns?

352 replies

prawngate · 17/12/2023 12:04

Last night had a gathering at DM’s - DB and I plus spouses and our children.

Anyway while we were cooking DM’s phone kept ringing- her DB is calling. After a while I said we need to answer because I was worried something was wrong. In any case he then started ringing me I picked up and he checks we’re at DMs and announces he and new GF are joining us.
He goes on to say they’re bringing prawns and wants to know if we have garlic and lemon.

DM says she did mention we were getting together to him a couple of months ago but he was non committal and didn’t bring it up again.

They show up a few hours later and the new GF has a massive bag of raw prawns - with heads and eyes. She starts skinning them and stuff pulling bits out and giving my mum - who has already cooked a huge buffet for us complete with beef rib and gammon - instructions on what she needs and complaining there isn’t enough lemon.

Apparently the prawns were quite nice (I didn’t want to try them with the heads) but she sat and started cutting huge chunks of prime beef rib off and ate a TON which annoyed DB and I because we were each taking some leftovers home 🤣

Anyway AIBU to say it’s weird to show up to someone else’s Xmas do with a bag of raw prawns and then expect them to supply you with the things to cook it? (And to sit and eat other people’s leftovers)

OP posts:
Forgotmylogindetails · 17/12/2023 14:23

You come across a bit bitchy.

MILTOBE · 17/12/2023 14:23

Torganer · 17/12/2023 13:28

Sounds amazing!! Would much prefer some fresh prawns than a packet of crappy mince pies! I certainly wouldn’t begrudge anyone invited family eating from the buffet. You sound a bit entitled that the food was only for you.

But the food was for her. The mum's brother and his girlfriend weren't invited.

UndertheCedartree · 17/12/2023 14:23

Lilithlogic · 17/12/2023 13:20

Well so do I, I don't differentiate just because one of them had to show their face somewhere else, or were working, or even had a prior appointment. That's life, doesn't make me second best. Is there a reason you are so nasty and condescending

Edited
Show quote history

Yes but tbf, that's a completely different situation. If someone told you I can't come as I'm working etc. and then last minute phoned you and said 'I've actually not got to go into work now, I know it's short notice but I'd love to still come if possible? I can bring some prawns to add to the buffet as I know you weren't planning on catering for me!' then that's perfectly polite. But that wasn't what happened!

TonTonMacoute · 17/12/2023 14:30

Forget the prawns.

I think it's extremely rude to turn up, uninvited and with an extra guest, to a pre-planned meal. It's worse to then make a song and dance because you have brought something to eat that the host hasn't planned or prepared for.

I have no idea why you are turning on OP just because she doesn't like prawns.

AliceOlive · 17/12/2023 14:31

YeahIsaidit · 17/12/2023 14:03

OP can I ask what you brought for everyone to share?

Nothing, she made something for her own children.

AliceOlive · 17/12/2023 14:32

MILTOBE · 17/12/2023 14:23

But the food was for her. The mum's brother and his girlfriend weren't invited.

Show quote history

They were invited.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/12/2023 14:33

CoffeeCantata · 17/12/2023 13:36

That does sound weird as well as inconsiderate and a bit entitled!

Also (completely off the point...) as a veggie I'm always fascinated at the way people happily eat prawns and shrimps but wouldn't like to eat grasshoppers and crickets. I don't see the difference in terms of antennae, legs and crunchy bits. Conditioning, I guess!

Not enough meat on a grasshopper.

In any case, they're more like woodlice biologically (and in taste, apparently).

fivegoldrings9 · 17/12/2023 14:34

prawngate · 17/12/2023 12:17

I don't like prawns. I would've made an effort to try them if they didn't have heads on

Show quote history

That says more about Britain's warped culture around food than anything

Goodlard · 17/12/2023 14:34

Christmas the season of goodwill to all!

Crikey you sound hard work OP!

PrawnLiberationFront · 17/12/2023 14:35

It would be ruder to turn up without extra food.

And if it is rude, surely that's the uncle's fault, not hers? She was probably told it would all be fine and was making an effort. So why is it her OP has decided to target?

They're also family, this isn't some formal dinner party with strict etiquette. He was bringing his partner to his sister's house. Which, come to mention it, this isn't even OP's house, so the real question is whether her DM felt it was rude or was put out by it. If she was fine with it in her own home OP has no business complaining.

Goodlard · 17/12/2023 14:37

TonTonMacoute · 17/12/2023 14:30

Forget the prawns.

I think it's extremely rude to turn up, uninvited and with an extra guest, to a pre-planned meal. It's worse to then make a song and dance because you have brought something to eat that the host hasn't planned or prepared for.

I have no idea why you are turning on OP just because she doesn't like prawns.

I don't think it's because she doesn't like prawns......

Although the extremely childish description of how they were prepared makes OP extremely irritating!

moonbeammagic · 17/12/2023 14:37

Its your mum's business. Her brother, her house. I might have been mildly jarred but not enough to start a whole thread on it. And the 'she doesn't belong' comment just makes you sound nasty. This woman has done nothing wrong, it's the uncle who turned up uninvited and brought her and the prawns with him, that you should be posting about, yet he barely gets a mention. Funny that!

TheGoogleMum · 17/12/2023 14:43

I agree getting your mum to cook her prawns was a bit weird, but the rest of it isn't. It'd be weird for a guest to cook in someone else's house too though so it's an odd one. I also don't like prawns

PrawnLiberationFront · 17/12/2023 14:45

TheGoogleMum · 17/12/2023 14:43

I agree getting your mum to cook her prawns was a bit weird, but the rest of it isn't. It'd be weird for a guest to cook in someone else's house too though so it's an odd one. I also don't like prawns

She didn't get the mum to prepare them, she was doing it herself, she just asked the mum for a few things she needed (normal if you're in someone else's kitchen)

LBFseBrom · 17/12/2023 14:49

It is quite usual for people to eat raw prawns, pulling them apart as you describe.

I do not eat shellfish or crustaceans, nor would I, ever, but know plenty who do and enjoy them.

Therefore this was not an abnormal or rude happening and eating a lot of the buffet prepared by your mother was also quite normal, it was served so that people could tuck in.

Allwelcone · 17/12/2023 15:01

CurlewKate · 17/12/2023 12:18

And they weren't leftovers-things are only leftovers when everyone at the event's had enough.

This. Can't stand hospitality meanness especially this time of year

NorthernAttitude · 17/12/2023 15:02

The poor woman! Didn't belong, caused extra washing up, ate too much - all being moaned about while you sit and eat someone else's leftover!

And you like her you say? How intolerant are you of people you don't like?!

MeMySonAnd1 · 17/12/2023 15:04

isthismylifenow · 17/12/2023 12:10

Pre-cooked prawns are awful so I would rather have some freshly cooked too.

I bet she was not local, there’s no better way to kill the flavour of prawns than boiling them before they are put for sale.

But if she had been around long enough, she will know that most English people do not cope well with seeing eyes and legs still attached to an animal on their plates.

Oblomov23 · 17/12/2023 15:05

WTF? What's wrong with prawns? They are an expensive delicacy and I adore them with loads of butter and garlic.

And you clearly didn't want her there.

and then you're hacked off that she ate all of the beef. You sound like tight scrimpers, who don't order a big enough joint and don't have enough food to cater for everybody. being tight is a very unattractive quality.

WonderingWanda · 17/12/2023 15:05

It was your Mum's house, your Mum's buffet and your Mum's brother so presumably if your Mum was happy for him to rock up uninvited then you should just get over it. And also she wasn't eating the leftovers, she was eating the buffet and there were no leftovers.

AliceOlive · 17/12/2023 15:08

If the mum didn’t want her brother there she wouldn’t have told him about it. The OP said he was non-commital. That definitely implies he was invited but never gave a firm yes.

Really unfair to blame this on the girlfriend.

Allwelcone · 17/12/2023 15:08

I think its 50/50. Host family a bit unwelcoming and closed- minded., uncle and gf a bit clumsy and domineering.

Northernparent68 · 17/12/2023 15:13

as you weren’t the hostess, it’s not really any of your business

momonpurpose · 17/12/2023 15:13

My sister and I had a friend like this whi would insist on bringing raw ingredients and take up space in the kitchen to put on her own cooking show.Very annoying.

Alohapotato · 17/12/2023 15:16

prawngate · 17/12/2023 12:21

Because it wasn't a free for all. It was my mum her kids (plus spouses) and grandkids.

There were no other friends or family invited.

Show quote history

when your uncle called you did not tell him he was not invited so he thought he was invited. they arrived with a gift for the host and for the rest too, fresh prawns which are delicious.
you seem like a spoilt brat.