I've just ruined my career haven't I?

[hopesndrrm]

Student social worker, on placement since end of august. Most of my days I have worked from home but have had the odd day in the office where I've worked with loads of the team including team leader.

Tonight went on Xmas night out with them all. Initially I said I wasn't drinking as wanted to stay professional. However, a load of them kept saying 'come on have a drink, let us see the real you, we are all wild etc' so I ended up drinking.

Totally blacked out, have woke up in my living room, fully clothed thank gos but no idea how I got home. I remember we kept switching chairs at the dinner table and at one point me and my team leader touching legs under the table and eye fucking.

I genuinely want to die. This is my career. This is why I didn't want to drink. It's fine if you've already got the job but what about when you are still trying to impress the boss?

I am affronted and 90 percent positive I was feeling the team leader up under the table. I'm meant to be In the office on Monday but there's no way

Another one saying how sober and coherent you are just a couple of hours after this took place.
I thought this happened days prior not last night!
If you were that unconscious a few short hours ago you must have a phenomenal metabolism to clear booze from your system.

😜

"Eye fucking"? I've never heard this phrase. I like it. Ive eye fucked a few people in my time - some consensual some not 🫣
I've also made a tit of myself at a work do or two. Thankfully everyone has been in a similar state so we've all been equally sheepish the next time at work.

@lkmbj you know a lot of social work teams work from home now? What would the point be of OP going into an empty office? It's perfectly possible to shadow on visits, go home, write up your notes, join a few teams meetings, have supervision, be contactable by phone and email from home.

I can’t understand how you were blackout drunk but sober enough to write that post. Did you start drinking really early?

Is there someone you’re close to who you can send an “Ouch, my head! What happened last night? lol” text to fish for some info to prepare yourself before you go back?

The only thing you can do is brazen it out and be super professional on your next working day. Laugh off any comments and move on.

I had a couple of similar incidents in my early-mid twenties. One time we went back to a (single and older) senior manager’s house and a colleague and I jumped up and down on his bed! 😬

I quickly learned that it’s best to have a maximum of two drinks - one at the start to relax and get into it, and then one as the night’s ending so you feel you’re part of it and end on a high. Always eat a decent meal beforehand and never have a dodgy mix ie beer and cocktails!

Another one wondering how you composed such an insightful and eloquent account of your blackout just a few hours later? 🤔

Well, there's a lesson for you there, so just learn and move on. You haven't ruined your career but the more senior you get, the more this sort of scenario would be called up on and it could ruin your career.

The most unhelpful comment ever! 👏 👏

It's a bit pathetic in your 30s

Oh come off it. It was a Christmas party where the booze was flowing. It's not really alcoholic territory to get pissed up in that situation.

It's also a bit pathetic to make insulting comments online you'd likely not dare to make to someone's face 🤣

Harmless and not career ending. I wouldn’t think anything of it if I was one of your colleagues. I’ve seen people pass out, have fights, throw glasses, sick on themselves, wet themselves. And none of them left the company!

It was the sudden shift from “you’re weird, embarrassing, immature and an alcoholic” to “but it was a mistake, we all make them” that got me.
MN is wild

A staff member (I’m her team leader) drunk texted me some dodgy sexual messages clearly intended for some guy. She apologised on the Monday, I laughed, we moved on. It’s not a huge deal.

This was exactly what I was going to say. OP if your placement is entirely from home you’re not gaining extremely valuable SW skills. There’s tonnes of research coming out about this. This is something I’d be FAR more worried about tbh. You’re not being supported properly at all.

Don’t worry. Witnessed a similar thing at a Christmas party in my team. Yes it was embarrassing for the individual, yes people smiled the following day but people just said ‘that’s what happens at Christmas parties’. They moved on… years later, people couldn’t recall the event including the person who was the target of the of the attention.

It is the TL and your practice supervisor who should be worried in their situation with a student and responsibility. You've been pretty foolish as a mature student though. Hopefully you'll all just move on and not do it again.

Eh lots of us have been there. The fear is real! Brazen it out, most likely everyone else was pissed up too and won’t remember or care what happened.

Old man? Ffs

You know this isn’t acceptable for students on placement and many report feeling isolated and confused. Research is really clear now - SW should not be done by new starters at home. I myself have published a paper on this in the BJSW!

You’ll be fine, style it out

Eye fucking? Absolute cringe!

It was a practice common on pirate ships, where long voyages made the crew turn to each other for comfort. But historical records are patchy.

@TheCountIsPale ok but what is OP supposed to do about this if her team all work from home? Go to their house?
My team are all 50/50 so there would be someone to learn from but that's not across the whole council. So long as the direct work with clients is shadowed and in person, does it matter if the student joins a teams meeting from home or in the office?

You go into work and behave as usual and it didn’t happen 😊

Been there done that. It’s fine, you’ve just got the beer fear. Everyone else will probably have been as drunk and are also waking up worrying about what they said/did. Sounds like a typical Xmas works night out. It will all be a distant memory after the festive holidays. Try not to overthink it ☺️