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Original poster

I've just ruined my career haven't I?

323 replies

hopesndrrm · 15/12/2023 02:28

Student social worker, on placement since end of august. Most of my days I have worked from home but have had the odd day in the office where I've worked with loads of the team including team leader.

Tonight went on Xmas night out with them all. Initially I said I wasn't drinking as wanted to stay professional. However, a load of them kept saying 'come on have a drink, let us see the real you, we are all wild etc' so I ended up drinking.

Totally blacked out, have woke up in my living room, fully clothed thank gos but no idea how I got home. I remember we kept switching chairs at the dinner table and at one point me and my team leader touching legs under the table and eye fucking.

I genuinely want to die. This is my career. This is why I didn't want to drink. It's fine if you've already got the job but what about when you are still trying to impress the boss?

I am affronted and 90 percent positive I was feeling the team leader up under the table. I'm meant to be In the office on Monday but there's no way

OP posts:
cerisepanther73 · 15/12/2023 04:45

and to be too *

Goodlard · 15/12/2023 04:45

Oh bless you, style it out, you'll be fine.

JanglingJack · 15/12/2023 04:47

It should be your team leader that's shitting himself and feeling ashamed.

Brazen it out - morning, you lot are a bad influence - never again! Ahahaha...

Coffee?

Letsgotitans · 15/12/2023 04:49

I know this is not the point but wow how do you sober up so quickly 😂 to go from blank out drunk, then 2.30 in the morning you're sober enough to write all that coherently!

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 15/12/2023 04:51

Savedpassword · 15/12/2023 04:29

I’m more interested in what type of student social work placement involves working from home.

’Misses point of thread entirely’

Yes, this is bizarre

PriOn1 · 15/12/2023 04:51

You’ll be fine, OP. If he was feeling your leg too, then he probably won’t blame you, but will also want to pretend he doesn’t remember it either. He might try it on with all the student staff, for all you know, which would make him a creep, but sadly not unusual.

Christmas parties are traditionally a time when lots of people make an absolute tit of themselves, whatever stage they are at in their career, so don’t overthink it. What seems awful to you is probably just funny to everyone else, if they even remember, which they may not.

Good luck.

alexisccd · 15/12/2023 04:55

The person who would get the warning in this scenario at my work would be the more senior colleague.

madamovaries · 15/12/2023 05:21

I have a colleague who gets that drunk at every work event. He still has a job. As other posters have suggested, brazen it out on Monday. My mum’s great piece of life advice was always that nothing is ever as embarrassing as you think it is, and best to face it as soon as possible. If it helps, remember so many people will be doing worse at their Christmas parties around the country.

But do learn from this. Don’t be my colleague. I am not a big drinker anyway but I never get drunk at work events - I consider it a professional setting. If you think this isn’t a one off and that you have an issue with alcohol, please seek help too. It shouldn’t be a social crutch and saying ‘yes’ to a single drink doesn’t normally mean you end up blackout drunk

wishing you all the best x

AlwaysGinPlease · 15/12/2023 05:28

littleannennt · 15/12/2023 03:05

Why are you flirting with an old man? Weird and yes, embarrassing.
You are immature and possibly have an issue with booze/boundaries/people pleasing and self esteem.
But honestly, it was a drunken mistake, you're not the first, you won't be the last to make a tit of themselves at a works night out - it's practically the law that someone has to.
Just don't do it again, you've had your turn.

An old man?! Fucking hell. 50 is not an old man 😂

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 15/12/2023 05:28

You were pressured in to drinking and then felt up by your much old and senior colleague.
your behaviour probably wasn’t that appropriate but you weren’t the most in the wrong here. It can’t end your career and if any repercussions happen then explain to hr that you were pressured into drinking.

Gnomegnomegnome · 15/12/2023 05:34

Another one missing the point and asking how a student social worker is working from home most of the time?

bahhumbuggobshite · 15/12/2023 05:35

@Aintnosupermum DEAD AF Grin

Globules · 15/12/2023 05:37

I have never heard the term eye fucking.

Learn something new every day.

It'll be fine @hopesndrrm Everyone has had a crazy drunk work moment. Style it out.

husbandcallsmepickle · 15/12/2023 05:39

@iicallitasplodge you're referring to 'This Life'. They were lawyers, not students

Doisvizinhos · 15/12/2023 05:55

Honestly you’ll be fine. Plenty people get drunk out with work. Others were probably trollied too. Just carry on like nothing has happened.

if it makes you feel any better I ended up in bed with one of the Directors I work with at our Christmas night out this year. I’m still employed.

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 15/12/2023 05:56

Goodness there’s drinking and there’s blacking out! Good that you’ve learned this early on in your career, but seriously, learn when to stop.

It won’t end your career but it certainly won’t enhance it either.

Nonewclothes2024 · 15/12/2023 06:02

Savedpassword · 15/12/2023 04:29

I’m more interested in what type of student social work placement involves working from home.

’Misses point of thread entirely’

Same Confused

Passingthethyme · 15/12/2023 06:06

It'll be fine, everyone was drinking and they were probably all drunk. Forget about it and act normal on Monday, say you can't remember anything which is true anyway! Don't worry!

Birdcar · 15/12/2023 06:08

You have 'the fear'. Try to muddle through today with whatever kind of comfort foods that helps. Reassess tomorrow when the hangover has passed. It sounds like you're not the only member of the team likely to be feeling this way today.

allitdoesisrain · 15/12/2023 06:11

icallitasplodge · 15/12/2023 04:00

social workers are wild though. I doubt any of them will judge you for it. Unless you were a client of theirs in which case it’d be different.

Not in my workplace they weren't. I'd have been dismissed if I'd got drunk.

Sugarsun · 15/12/2023 06:13

It’s probably not as bad as you think and if everyone else was drinking a lot too then their memory may be a bit hazy too.

Later on, text on the group chat and say how drunk you were and you apologise if you made a twat out of yourself etc.

You’ve got a long weekend now and this time of the year people are busy thinking about other things too.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 15/12/2023 06:16

I tend to view work events like the Christmas party as a work conference/ networking event with food and drink. It helps to frame my mindset as to how I approach these situations.

AnonyLonnymouse · 15/12/2023 06:16

This feeling is a combination of drink-induced paranoia and the spotlight effect. We all feel that the things we do are seen by everyone, but really they are all muddling along thinking about their own issues and often don’t even notice what seems so embarrassing to us.

You should have resisted temptation, but honestly don’t worry about it. I have been in the workplace a long time and all sorts of things are not ‘career ending’.

TickTickTock · 15/12/2023 06:18

Gnomegnomegnome · 15/12/2023 05:34

Another one missing the point and asking how a student social worker is working from home most of the time?

We're often based from home these days, but we still go out on visits, and/or take calls on the duty service etc. :)
Hope that clears up the mystery

Itsbeginingtolookalotlikexmas · 15/12/2023 06:18

I work in education the things I have seen on staff nights out include - throwing up onto the bar, open sexual encounters by married people, taking drugs, bringing their own alcohol to a venue with a bar (not even try to hide it), being thrown out of bars/clubs, telling various colleagues including the boss to go fuck them selves or similar, nakedness, urinating in public and I’m sure there is more I can’t think of. Non of these people were sacked or even given a warning. Pretend you don’t remember and laugh it off.

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