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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to let my 7 year old walk to his friend's house alone

257 replies

welshweasel · 14/12/2023 23:08

My 7 year old (8 next month) is desperate to be allowed to walk to his friend's house for a pre arranged play date. Friend lives less than 5 minutes walk away. There is one road to cross (20mph speed limit with pedestrian crossing that he knows how to use).

I'm keen to let him to do this but my friend was horrified that I might allow this. Am
I totally out of touch with what is reasonable?

OP posts:
skippy67 · 15/12/2023 01:04

YABU

SinnerBoy · 15/12/2023 01:48

I think it depends on the child and whether or not he's sensible and mature. If it's during the day, I would be OK, but not at night. My daughter insisted on walking to school by herself from Year 4 and we let her, as the school encouraged it.

I did a few slow ambles behind, for the first week, as there are 4 roads (residential) to cross and she was fine, apart from dawdling.

arewedoneyet · 15/12/2023 01:57

Tilllly · 14/12/2023 23:26

No

No matter how good they are with crossings etc, they have no coping strategies if anything happens

What will he do if 2 teenagers get into a fight near him?
Or a stray dog is aggressive?
Or there's a road traffic collision nearby

Etc etc

As an adult I've literally never seen these things wherever I've been walking doubt a child is going to come across them on a 5 min walk in U.K.

Appleblum · 15/12/2023 02:02

Nope. Too young.

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 15/12/2023 02:26

No sorry, it’s way too much of a risk

Plinkplonkplink · 15/12/2023 02:40

Yes, unfortunately we protect our kids too much. They need to learn and if you have really considered it and feel your child can do it then go for it. I get why others are scared but it’s just the way we’ve been brought up. If you feel your child can do it then go for it. This guide is useful. Obviously there are some 7 year olds who you would never allow to do this, even some 10/11 year olds, it just depends on your child. https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/media/3271/home-or-out-alone-guide.pdf

https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/media/3271/home-or-out-alone-guide.pdf

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 15/12/2023 02:42

Whyohwhywyoming · 14/12/2023 23:40

I wouldn’t and the reason is that, like most kids in the 80s I did this, also like many kids in the 80s I had a number of weird interactions with adults my mum never knew about, including being flashed more than once. So I’m always a bit dubious about the “oh we used to do this and it was fine!” Was it fine? Really?

I did it, and the only weird interactions I ever had was when I was in my teens, and in a city. Otherwise, yes it was fine, really. I still see quite young kids walking here, and nothing bad has ever happened.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 15/12/2023 02:47

What's all this stuff about 2 teenagers fighting?!

Wondering that myself. I've never seen 2 teenagers fighting while out walking, in fact the only time I've seem them fighting was at school, when I was a teenager myself.

Pippa12 · 15/12/2023 02:47

I have a 7 nearly 8 year old, I do not let him out of my sight. Let him walk a few meters ahead for some independence but don’t leave him to walk alone.

These children are precious and when it’s all gone wrong it’s too late.

judgedreadful · 15/12/2023 02:54

My DD is 8 next week and I would never let her walk on her own where I can't see her. Times are a lot different now. Not as safe and it only takes one awful person to do something stupid.

Mystro202 · 15/12/2023 02:56

The only thing I would worry about is the road. I remember reading somewhere that a child can't judge the distance and how fast cars are coming until they are 12.

thebestinterest · 15/12/2023 03:30

No, I would not. 7 is really young. Besides, developmentally it’s not safe for him to be crossing streets alone at that age.

BakedTattie · 15/12/2023 03:33

Yes as long as he knows the way.

My 7 year old walks to a from school himself, well with pals but occasionally alone, it’s a mile each way. I put an AirTag in his pocket so I can track him

ScrumbleBumble · 15/12/2023 03:57

Not where we live, no.

Kids being targeted for their phones, often at knifepoint unfortunately. Leafy surrey.

Also it's not unknown for the odd occasion a car to be passing trying to lure a young one in. Rare but not unknown.

Sad times we live in. Depressing.

Copperoliverbear · 15/12/2023 04:39

No.

SunshineYay · 15/12/2023 04:42

Depends on where you live. I'd say 8 years old is fine to walk 5 minutes to his friend's house unless you live in a dangerous area.

Lifestooshort71 · 15/12/2023 04:52

Cars don't always stop at zebra crossings where we live - my grandson was crossing the road on his own at 9 and put his trust in a 'boy racer' who didn't. Fortunately he stepped back at the last minute but I was waiting on the other side for him and nearly had a heart attack! I agree with poster upthread, they're all so precious, why take the risk?

PonyinShorts · 15/12/2023 05:11

In other countries (have lived in many places in Scandinavia and central Europe) children as young as 6 take public transport or walk alone to go to school and after school activities. How are they supposed to learn what to do in ab"unexpected situation“ if they never experience one?

Howsoon23 · 15/12/2023 05:20

I would in a rural area - i live in a village and my kids would go down to the shop about that age - you know your child

Rosiiee · 15/12/2023 05:22

Can you help him with the crossing and then let him walk alone from there?

pinkdelight · 15/12/2023 05:22

The point that we used to do it in the past doesn't always stand. Parents used to not give it a second thought, but then various cases of abductions, accidents and so on have sent us the other way. And at 7, even in the 1970s my parents would've sent my older brother with me on such a walk. Also in those days, something happened to most kids - i remember it being fairly common that someone got flashed at and others got chased by bullies, another got knocked over. It wasn't all glorious freedom.

It may be an over reaction but rather that than living to regret it. 7 is very young. It wouldn't be mollycoddling to go with him for now and wait till he's 10 or 11 for more independence. Our primary school would only let y6 kids walk home alone. There are also way more cars on the road now than in the 1970s etc. Just don't risk it. You don't get any prizes for being a hands off parent of a 7yo and there's more to lose than gain if anything goes wrong.

Natsku · 15/12/2023 05:27

Of course its fine, 7 year olds are far more capable than British parents seem to realise. Just make sure he knows only to cross the road after the cars have stopped, not when he thinks they are slowing down as he can't judge speed properly yet.

Every day I see little 7 year olds walking and biking to school alone, in the dark, and they are fine.

notahappybunny7 · 15/12/2023 05:36

Fionaville · 14/12/2023 23:38

I wouldn't because I'd be scared of a car stopping and grabbing them. But I know this is totally irrational because the chances are so slim. I'm also a hypocrite because I went a lot further than that without a grown up when I was 8. So, I'm basically the worst person to ask. The sensible part of me says yes, let him do it after a few practices with you.

I’d be more concerned about a car hitting him!
so many cars on the road nowadays and going too fast! Kids are killed by cars just too frequently and no 7 too young.

Sunflowergirl1 · 15/12/2023 05:36

No way. I would never forgive myself is something went badly wrong

Gumbo · 15/12/2023 05:37

From what you're describing I would, as long as he fully understands about making sure cars have really stopped before crossing the road.

It reminds me of a situation a few years ago where a friend with a child that age asked him to go to get some milk..the shop was literally a block away with no roads to cross. It was the 1st time he'd done that, he gave the child the money and waited for him to come home. And waited. After about 15 minutes he walked to the shop himself, child not there! So he rushed home, got his car and slowly drove the mile to town, checking for the child along the way. He was nearly in town when he spotted his child with the milk proudly walking towards him! It turns out the child had misinterpreted which shop was meant, and walked all the way to town including crossing a couple of busy roads 😮. He wasn't asked to run errands again for quite a while...