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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
Original poster
XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:28

Sorry, my AIBU is: would I be unreasonable to let her go and miss this much time off school?

OP posts:
Abbimae · 14/12/2023 20:28

Don’t expect schools to be lax for you if you moan they are off for inset:strikes etc

ohxmastreeohxmastree · 14/12/2023 20:29

If they go every two years, can she wait two more years and go when she is 16 and finished GCSES?

Cascais · 14/12/2023 20:29

YANBU

PuttingDownRoots · 14/12/2023 20:29

That will be 3 weeks of GCSE work.

Fantina · 14/12/2023 20:30

Is that the start of Year 11? If so, my answer is that you shouldn’t do it.

Sprinkles211 · 14/12/2023 20:30

It's 3 weeks let the girl go bless her she will remember it for life

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 14/12/2023 20:30

I guess it depends where you live. In England she would be going into yr11 so definitely wouldn't miss the first three weeks of yr11.

ZenNudist · 14/12/2023 20:30

I wouldn't miss that much school.

Original poster
XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:30

@Abbimae would you let her go or not? I'm really not sure.

I don't moan about inset days etc... me and dd always make it a 'film day' etc ...

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 14/12/2023 20:32

Yabu, I wouldn't let mine take that many days off. Right at the start as well, when everyone is figuring out their new timetables, getting books etc.

Benicebenicebenice · 14/12/2023 20:33

Life's too short, take the trip!

daisychainrose · 14/12/2023 20:34

Speak to the school. Ask how much is the fine and would missing 3 weeks be an issue ...will she catch up etc.
Personally I wouldn't take her out.
Wait until she finishes.
Also Aunt is well off but can't go in the holidays??
How much more is it? Is it as much as the fine.

Iwishiwasasilentnight · 14/12/2023 20:34

What school year?

Original poster
XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:34

Yes we are in England, I could ask if she could go next time when her GCSE's are over but they stupidly asked her to ask me ( me and her dad are separated and it's his sister ) and now she is so excited.

OP posts:
jemenfous37 · 14/12/2023 20:34

Not a good idea, esp at start of new school year.
Return andctrying to catch up 3 weeks of work will be stressful and hard for child and classmates

HomiesAlone · 14/12/2023 20:35

My DD of that age wouldn't be up for it even to miss that much school. But go ahead if you want.

Ternbeach · 14/12/2023 20:35

Let her go.

WorkCleanRepeat · 14/12/2023 20:36

I wouldn't at the beginning of year 10 or 11.

BCBird · 14/12/2023 20:36

Pupils don't catch up. It's something we say but it's not attainable.

Christabelladaisy · 14/12/2023 20:37

This is fairly common where I teach as quite a lot of children have family in Asia. It isn’t ideal but I don’t think it will necessarily be detrimental educationally. I wouldn’t do it personally though.

Rainallnight · 14/12/2023 20:38

Could she go for a week, which should be plenty of time in Disneyland? Go out with them, fly back alone as a UM. Or vice versa.

existentialpain · 14/12/2023 20:38

Three weeks is a lot to miss...nearly a month off school! It could really set her back.

Could there be a compromise and her aunt take her for two weeks? It still not ideal but better than three.

Lolovans · 14/12/2023 20:41

3 weeks of Y11 would be a hard no here.

Bluevelvetsofa · 14/12/2023 20:41

It’s unfortunate that your DD has already been told about it. Fifteen days out of school will be a substantial fine and I think I’ve heard that both parents are fined.

She’s going to be either Year 10 or 11, so that’s a lot of time to miss, either year.

Of course she’ll always remember it, but will she be happy to potentially impact her GCSEs negatively and risk 6th form choice.

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