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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 14/12/2023 21:47

I'm not opposed to the occasional term time holiday. We took dd out a few times in primary school to visit her dad's home country etc. I always felt that she learned a great deal from those trips and that her education was not affected.

However, 3 weeks in a GCSE year at the beginning of term to go to Disney? Not a good idea, sorry!

RuthW · 14/12/2023 21:47

She can't have three weeks off school aged 14.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 14/12/2023 21:48

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 14/12/2023 21:43

As if the school is going to provide lesson plans for a student who’s taking an unauthorised absence of 3 weeks to go to Disneyland at the start of Yr 11 🤨

Show quote history

I know. Some parents are living in cloud cuckoo land, thinking everything revolves around their child. 😂

VerasDuckworth · 14/12/2023 21:48

YANBU. She'll remember it forever and should do it before she gets too old to enjoy the wonder properly. IT's early in the school year so she'll have time to catch up. As others have said life's too short

MzHz · 14/12/2023 21:48

Seriously don’t do this - and I’m not a hand wringing over involved parent!

my ds is Y13 now and Y11 is full on from week 1. She can wait for the next round of trips and go then.

and remind your ex/his sister to speak to you first about these things in future. She won’t be missing any of year 11.

maximist · 14/12/2023 21:48

It's fucking Disneyland. Not exactly an educational destination! She'll have the rest of her life to waste time there, of course she shouldn't miss three weeks of her GCSE education, are you mad?

justasking111 · 14/12/2023 21:49

Friends auntie took her to South Africa in term time at this age but her mother had terminal cancer so there were extenuating circumstances.

Beginning of term that's a head scratcher

Ittastesvile · 14/12/2023 21:50

FirstTimeTTC989 · 14/12/2023 20:57

That should be a hard no. Can't believe you're even considering it. The person who told her before checking with you is a first class cunt.

  1. The first 3 weeks of school in a GCSE year? Are you mad? Do you not value her education at all?
  2. Disneyland is NOT a once in a lifetime trip. It's a big amusement park. She can go when she's older. I have work colleagues who have just been (late 20s, no kids, they had a great time).

This.

I would be fuming at this woman for getting her all excited about it before discussing it with me first.

No way would I allow dc to miss 3 weeks of Yr 11 for Disney. Disney is nice but it's not going anywhere.

puncheur · 14/12/2023 21:50

Would be a hard no from me. And it’s not a “once in a lifetime chance”. Work hard at school (not bunking off for 3 weeks) and she’ll be able to afford to go every year if she wants.

MzHz · 14/12/2023 21:50

She’ll be finished all her exams by the end of June, that’s early enough to get good prices.

she goes AFTER her exams not before

CurlyhairedAssassin · 14/12/2023 21:52

Chocoswirl · 14/12/2023 21:23

I would take her without a doubt.
Do you know for sure you would get a fine? Where I live, you wouldn’t for a one-off like that. Just a stern letter that you can put in the recycling bin. Make sure she copies up what she’s missed from her friends once she’s back and job’s a goodun.
We only live once and she will remember that trip to Florida for a lifetime. Will she remember anything about that 3 weeks of school? Of course not, and she will catch up. It’s a no brainer for me!

Not fair on the friends to have to lend out their books and explain stuff to them. For. A. Holiday. It's not like she's been off with a health issue and asking friends to help her catch up then.

Mrsgreen100 · 14/12/2023 21:52

One week, I would possibly consider but not 3
academically, not a great plan, but also at this age friendship groups are really important often set for the coming year. I personally wouldn’t want my daughter to miss out on what’s going on at school.

Frequency · 14/12/2023 21:52

I'd double-check the £60 total fine. I got fined £175 for DD2 missing school in year 11 and she had a genuine reason.

Although, that was a fine for low overall attendance rather than one big absence. She lost her father a few weeks before the start of year 11. She found his body, called the ambulance, and did CPR on him, so she had a lot to unpack that year, mentally. I valued her mental health over her education having witnessed bullying and pressure at school wreck her older sister's mental health and allowed her to decide if she was well enough to attend.

She probably missed more than 3 weeks overall and still passed her GCSEs with decent grades and got into college. She needs to resit maths but given what she went through that year she did amazing.

I'm still livid about the fine. I wanted to attend court to appeal it but I had a job interview the same day I couldn't reschedule.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 14/12/2023 21:52

Absolutely not at that age - it’s the start of a very important year 11 - 3 weeks is a long time! No sorry OP I know you only live once and all that - but absolutely no at the start of that school year - it’s far too important and it’s her future, this is just Disney.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 14/12/2023 21:53

@Frequency , that's awful. I'd be livid too. Some schools/EWOs are idiots.

Ghostgirl77 · 14/12/2023 21:54

Disneyland is not a once in a lifetime trip - it’s a bland man made entertainment park! I definitely wouldn’t take a 14yo out of school for three weeks for that.

Maybe if it was hand feeding orphaned orangutans in Borneo or hiking the Inca trail or trekking to Everest base camp or something else with some rarity/educational value but not Disneyland.

Itslookinggood · 14/12/2023 21:54

I’m pretty committed educationally and have 2 teens - one in year 11 now. Honestly, it’s a once in a lifetime chance and I would let her go.

would be asking for any catch up materials the school are prepared t9 give though.

Mittens1717 · 14/12/2023 21:54

I'd let her go, it's 3 weeks out of the whole school year, not 3 months, she'll catch up and it's a once in a lifetime trip

TheFairyCaravan · 14/12/2023 21:55

I had no qualms about taking my children out of school for a few days for a holiday. They are bright, they caught up and it, genuinely, didn’t affect them. We love Disney too. However, we never took them out once they got to GCSE years and we’d have never taken them out for 3 weeks, regardless of what year they were in.

I don’t think she will ever catch up tbh. The amount of work she would miss will be immense. It’s not fair on her or the teachers.

Itmwtoty · 14/12/2023 21:55

Sorry but Disneyworld at 15 isn't once in a lifetime. There are trips that I would consider this for but not Disneyword. It's not exactly life enhancing. I went to Disney at this age and it really isn't a once in a lifetime experience.

3 weeks is also too long at 15. She could get a boyfriend, fall out with her friends etc and will spend the whole time on her phone and decide she'd actually rather be at home.

That's not even going into the fact that missing the first few weeks of a GCSE year is a daft idea and will set her off to a bad start that could have life long implications. For a cuddle with Micky mouse?

Maireas · 14/12/2023 21:56

Mittens1717 · 14/12/2023 21:54

I'd let her go, it's 3 weeks out of the whole school year, not 3 months, she'll catch up and it's a once in a lifetime trip

Why is it "once in a lifetime"?
It's Disneyland.

Shakeylegs · 14/12/2023 21:56

How on earth is it a ‘once in a lifetime’ chance? She could literally go at any other time in her life.

pontipinemum · 14/12/2023 21:56

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:48

Thankyou everyone, mixed reactions was what I was expecting. I've got time to think about it so could maybe speak to the school or possibly pay to fly her back early. It really is a tough one.

If going down that route I'd pay to fly her out late. It would be terrible to have to leave half way though the holiday.

Will her cousin not also be in GCSE year? A week I think I'd def do, 3 seems a lot

Also while a fantastic trip and one I am sure she would remember it isn't exactly a once in a life time sort of trip.

Mikimoto · 14/12/2023 21:57

Miss the first three weeks when they explain the entire contents of the GCSE cycle?
Absolutely ridiculous to even entertain the idea.

Chocoswirl · 14/12/2023 21:57

It’s once in a lifetime if you can’t afford it and somebody else is offering to pay!

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