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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
Ohtobetwentytwo · 14/12/2023 20:53

If, and it's a big IF, I'd expect her to be studying, properly studying, over summer so that she does not end up behind because if she starts off behind, she will not catch up and will spiral.

museumum · 14/12/2023 20:54

Definitely not the first three weeks of a new school year. I think she’d be behind and uninformed about stuff all term or even all year.

Soubriquet · 14/12/2023 20:54

Oh god do it. It’s 3 weeks and the fine you will get will still work out cheaper than waiting till the holidays or a few years away

Ohtobetwentytwo · 14/12/2023 20:55

Dont forget that is llf aunt is offering then there is probably something in it for her, like her DD and yours going off together for a hmfew hours, so you might have a bit of room to compromise. Maybe she could pull it forward a week and you pay the difference.

Ablondiebutagoody · 14/12/2023 20:55

I wouldn't let mine miss 3 weeks of school and I fail to see why it's a once in a lifetime trip. Disneyland isn't going anywhere. It's a lovely holiday but nothing more than that in my opinion.

Also, I wouldn't expect school to provide lesson plans or anything other resources for her while she's off. What a cheek!

Rinoachicken · 14/12/2023 20:56

I wouldn’t do it. But I would say she can go in 2 years after her GCSEs as a ‘post exams’ treat/reward.

Disneyland will always be there, certainly will still be there in 2 years.

She only gets this one shot at her exam years.

Notonthestairs · 14/12/2023 20:56

When will she sit mocks? I ask because DS is in Yr 11 & sat his mocks pretty early this term and the teachers spent weeks trying to support them in breaking down course content to revise etc. it was invaluable and I doubt you'd be able to replicate it.

Personally I wouldn't consider 3 weeks off school in year 11 (or Yr 10) unless it was for health reasons.

FirstTimeTTC989 · 14/12/2023 20:57

That should be a hard no. Can't believe you're even considering it. The person who told her before checking with you is a first class cunt.

  1. The first 3 weeks of school in a GCSE year? Are you mad? Do you not value her education at all?
  2. Disneyland is NOT a once in a lifetime trip. It's a big amusement park. She can go when she's older. I have work colleagues who have just been (late 20s, no kids, they had a great time).
mondriansdog · 14/12/2023 20:57

I would only allow her to go on the proviso that she learns all the info for school during the summer hols - find out the curriculum and learn on her own beforehand as best she can.

Anneta · 14/12/2023 20:58

If she is studious and is willing to work weekends on her school work on her return to catch up, I would let her go. You will be buying the revision guides for her anyway no doubt and she can catch up using them or via online revision. It’s a fabulous holiday and she will remember it forever.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 14/12/2023 20:58

If it was primary I would say absolutely yes but having had 2 children go through GCSE’s, it would be an absolute no from me.

It’s the key years, it’s too much school to miss.

Ohtobetwentytwo · 14/12/2023 20:58

Not being funny but it depends on your kid, where shes going and where she is now.

Does she want to do a course that needs straight As?

Or do you think she might be close to Cs and need the support to get that?

Those weeks might be the difference.

If she is going to leave school for work or study something well within her grasp, then it doesnt matter so much.

Sorry I'm showing my age talking about As and Cs.

Teenagehorrorbag · 14/12/2023 20:59

Really hard to decide! In principle I would never recommend taking a child out of school for three weeks in their GCSE year - but on the other hand it is a once in a lifetime chance to fulfil a dream!

Depends how your DD is doing at school - if she's bright and not struggling I'd be inclined to say yes - and she'll catch up. But if she is having issues academically and you let her go - then how will you feel if she doesn't get the results she needs? I think these are the key questions.

If you decide to let her go, then I hope she has a great experience. You'd be fined by the LA - I think it's £60 per child per parent but that may be out of date........

greencheetah · 14/12/2023 21:00

No, not three weeks in GCSE year.

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 14/12/2023 21:00

You say “once in a lifetime” but that’s only because of the cost. It’s not once in a lifetime in the sense of crossing the Sahara, sailing the Atlantic, climbing Kilimanjaro. Those things are life-enhancing things that people do once in their lives because of accessibility and opportunity and physical fitness required, they’re worth missing school for. Disney, in Florida? You’d actually want her to miss 3 weeks of education to go on over-priced rides and eat in over-priced restaurants in an American theme park??

Also, it’s three crucial weeks. Start of her GCSEs. She’s basically start every subject in pretty much October. How much of a needless struggle would that be? It’s not like she’s going to be alert and receptive her first day back, certainly not enough to catch up on every subject.

Finally, Disney doesn’t require 3 weeks. Personally, I think it requires none but if you like that kind of thing, 5-7 days is enough. My in-laws live in Orlando, I know what it’s like. I cannot fathom removing a child from school for 3 weeks, traveling across the Atlantic, paying all that money, for THAT. Sorry, but hard no from me.

Fantina · 14/12/2023 21:01

Going to Disney is not a once in a lifetime opportunity! My friend went there for her honeymoon. It’s a holiday, a free one which is great but it could come at a cost to her education and future.

SpringViolet · 14/12/2023 21:01

Singleandproud · 14/12/2023 20:51

I would not let her miss three weeks of GCSE work, it doesn't matter how bright she is she will miss crucial content that she won't be able to catch up, at my school that would have been roughly 12 missed lessons in science, maths and English let alone everything else.

Take her to Disneyland Paris during Feb half-term when it's cheaper, it's not the same as Florida but is still great.

It's worth keeping in mind that her attendance percentage will be wrecked Al year, if she feels ill at school you have almost 0 chance of her being sent home whereas a student with a good attendance percentage is more likely to be allowed to go home.

Edited

Disneyland Paris is absolutely not the same or comparable to Disneyland Florida!

Is she willing to work extra hard when she gets back?

I imagine the content of the lessons she’ll miss will be on her homework platform so she can go over it afterwards?

I very much doubt 3 weeks off right at the start of term will have a massive detrimental impact and mean lower grades if she’s willing to make it up.

I’d let her go. It’ll be a fab experience with her cousin. Life is for living and it sounds like an opportunity that she won’t get again unless she goes as an adult which is a different experience.

The fine will be the same whether it’s 2 or 3 weeks away. Each parent will pay £60 IIRC. Been there done that!

VeryQuaintIrene · 14/12/2023 21:02

Not for bloody Disneyland, absolutely not! Especially as she could go, if she still wants to, on the next trip if it's really every 2 years that her aunt does the trip.

GreyhpundGirl · 14/12/2023 21:02

thefirstmrsrochester · 14/12/2023 20:49

After all the sacrifices young folk made these last few years I’d say to take the holiday and to ask if the school can provide the lesson plans for her subjects for the weeks she will be missing.

School won't provide any work as they can't be seen to be supporting the absence (teacher here) And it's not that simple anyway— you wouldn't need teachers if it was.

SheerLucks · 14/12/2023 21:04

PuttingDownRoots · 14/12/2023 20:29

That will be 3 weeks of GCSE work.

But it's the very start of the GCSE years, which I think she could catch up on.

I have a friend who is a senior teacher and she said 20 years ago parents did this regularly and it rarely impacted their results, and she finds the current strict rules ridiculous.

Let your DD go to Disneyland!

1234betty · 14/12/2023 21:04

This is why schools and teachers cannot win. Refuse time off (well nowadays they aren’t allowed to!) – parents annoyed, cue lots of ’myyyy child is way ahead/is never ill/can cope, other children on the other hand…’. Parents take child anyway, and ’ask’ school if they can ’provide the lessons beforehand’, and get annoyed if they 'won't' - well it's more that they can't!?

Education is a ’live’ thing. It’s impossible for a teacher to know exactly what will take place during those three weeks. They may try, but parents will inevitably get annoyed that teachers didn’t provide ’everything’. (It would be a boring course if everything was known and planned such a long time in advance.)

And then it’s test time. ’My child’ missed something, ’I cannot believe school didn’t ensure they learnt x…’. If results are worse than expected, that hits the school’s ranking. (I hate league tables but they’re a reality.) Bad mouthing etc.

School is not something to make use of when it fits in with other family plans. It should be the other way round. I have little hope that it will change though.

doglover90 · 14/12/2023 21:04

A child being off school for 3 weeks is a nightmare for teachers. Ultimately they will be judged on the results of the children in their class, and it is very difficult to catch up on that much missed school. Disney World is definitely not 'once in a lifetime' and 3 weeks is way too long.

Notonthestairs · 14/12/2023 21:04

She'll go over the 3 weeks of homework without the relevant classroom teaching AND keep up with the fresh homework given out daily once she's back?

DisforDarkChocolate · 14/12/2023 21:05

She doesn't need to go for three weeks. One is probably acceptable.

gentirm · 14/12/2023 21:05

I would never consider going away in term time in the GCSE years. I think the start of term will be a particularly bad time as they'll be setting out new routines etc. Tbh I'd be quite annoyed at the aunt who I'd consider to be trying to sabotage the DD's education. If it were my DD I don't even think she'd want to go, she would understand how important the GCSE years are.