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AIBU?

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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
blackbeardsballsack · 14/12/2023 21:05

BrightLightTonight · 14/12/2023 20:48

Sorry, but going to a massive fun fair is not “once in a life time”. Something like tracking lions in the Serengeti, is “once in a life time”. You need to sort priorities and 3 weeks off school for a roller coaster ride, when it will still be there in 20 years …….

Completely agree with this

321user123 · 14/12/2023 21:08

OP, is your daughter bright and a good student?

If yes, I would definitely do it.

The condition for her going could be for her to anticipate the coursework that she would be missing for the first few weeks during the school holidays and once she is back use the help offered to ensure she is fully caught on.

I personally think that this is one in a lifetime opportunity that she’s unlikely to be able to re-do and lastly, I would also consider this a learning opportunity.

DidIMakeaMistake · 14/12/2023 21:08

Awwwh OP what an incredibly tough one. It’s such an important year

randomstress · 14/12/2023 21:09

Primary school I wouldn't think twice.
Early secondary school I would still say yes.
Yr 11 definitely not. I have year 11 dc and that is a lot of work to miss.

Notonthestairs · 14/12/2023 21:09

It's not once in a lifetime if the aunt goes every two years.

Maireas · 14/12/2023 21:09

Will you be expecting the teachers to help her catch up on her return?

Cookiedough123 · 14/12/2023 21:10

Is she the type to catch up on her work? Or is she lazy? Does she revise when she has assessments? If she does then I would say let her go. I’m saying this as a secondary school teacher. If she’s the lazy type then I wouldn’t let her go as she will most likely not bother to catch up!

Mornusting · 14/12/2023 21:12

What year will she be going into?

tolerable · 14/12/2023 21:12

let her go

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 14/12/2023 21:12

I have to say, it’s very depressing to think that a girl aged 14 might never, in her life, be able to go to Disney florida. You don’t think she would be able to afford this as an adult? By working and saving? You don’t think she might choose to travel the world as a 20-something? Or might meet someone who could share her interest and jointly save to go with her?

I can imagine many things that could very well be “once in a lifetime” events for a 14yo girl. Going to Disney in Florida wouldn’t even be on the list.

LaurieStrode · 14/12/2023 21:12

There is no way I would let my child miss school for that commercialized, mindless claptrap.

Even for a culturally rich trip, three weeks is a lot, but for Disney? No way.

Wrongsideofpennines · 14/12/2023 21:13

It would be a no from me.

It's not 'once in a lifetime' as aunt goes every 2 years so she can do it then instead.
3 weeks is also a heck of a long time and it doesn't need to be anywhere near as long.
It's crucial GCSE teaching time that will be difficult to catch up on. I think its not fair to let your daughter struggle to try and catch up when you can be the responsible adult and tell her to wait a bit longer. I'm really surprised the cousin is allowed to do this too.

TheYear2000 · 14/12/2023 21:14

Three weeks off at secondary school is really not ok.

Your daughter will miss 3 weeks of learning and also receive the message that learning/school is optional at the time when her education and attainment will decide her future.

Frequency · 14/12/2023 21:14

I'd leave it up to the DD. Make it clear that she will miss a lot of work and might potentially never catch up which could mean dropping grades and missing out on college courses or having to resit.

Remind her she can go the next time they go but that will be the start of the first term of her last year at college.

If she decides it is worth the risk help her find the resources she needs to study over the summer before she goes. Download curriculums and exam guides and use BBC bitesize/Khan Academy/Udemy/Coursera etc to start learning the basics of each subject.

titchy · 14/12/2023 21:14

WalnutBlue · 14/12/2023 20:44

Let her go take the fine.
3 weeks of a once in a lifetime experience is worth.
She has the rest of term to catch up.

It's Disneyland not Bora Bora. Hardly once in a lifetime. Hmm

GreatGateauxsby · 14/12/2023 21:15

Preface:
I LOVE Disney and I am generally a “yeah go for it” person with regard to time off from school. I think the UK governments obsession with attendance is frankly nonsense.

that said… first three weeks ages 14 would be a hard No from me. I think the timing is especially sucky.
First 3 weeks of sept they will be introducing multiple new learning concepts across all subjects -l for the year.
a lot / most of which will be foundational/pivotal to GCSEs.

it will be incredibly hard to catch up and could affect your daughter’s academic confidence and gcse results.

Disney is great but not that great.
dont let your regret at not being able to “give her this experience” aged 6-10 cloud your judgement now. Loads of people don’t go to Disney and are just fine….

Benibidibici · 14/12/2023 21:18

Im sorry but fucking disneyworld florida is not a "once in a lifetime trip".

bowiesmum · 14/12/2023 21:18

Life way too short, take the trip

Dinkymummy · 14/12/2023 21:18

I am a teacher and would have once said, no way. However, the last few years has changed my perspective. Health and wellbeing and quality family time is so important. Let her go and make a plan for what she will miss.

Gunnersforthecup · 14/12/2023 21:18

If the 2 girls are the same age, then in a couple of years they will finish their GCSEs in late June. They could go to Disneyworld then; it will be out of the main season and hopefully cheaper?

reluctantbrit · 14/12/2023 21:18

In secondary - absolutely not.

With 14/15 a child should understand that school is something which has priority and Disney is not running away. You could look into it for after GCSE, so July 2025?, that gives you another 2 years to save if it is something both of you really want.

ActDottie · 14/12/2023 21:20

3 weeks is loads. I wouldn’t exactly say Disney world Florida is exactly once in a lifetime either… at her age I’d definitely say no.

Aroundthewaygirl · 14/12/2023 21:22

I missed the first 3 weeks of school when I was 13 and I struggled most of the year. Not just with classes but with fitting in with social groups. But I'm shy and was only an average student so that might be the reason why. I think one week would be ok but more than that is too much.

GreigeO · 14/12/2023 21:22

Its not really a once in a lifetime trip, is it?

missymousey · 14/12/2023 21:23

I would let her go, she'll catch up.

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