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Original poster

Kids found hidden Christmas gifts...what would you do ?

271 replies

Greenpolkadot · 13/12/2023 13:50

Talking with some friends yesterday.
One tells us that her kids (3 under 10 ). found all their gifts from where she had hidden them.
She says they must done a proper search as they were hidden in cupboards ' the shed and various other places.
She took the gifts away but then wonders if she should buy a whole new load of stuff as the suprise has gone .
Personally I would keep the discovered stuff and re-present it on Christmas morning...but she thinks I'm being mean and unreasonable.

OP posts:
Zoreos · 13/12/2023 14:32

Im in the minority here but I was that child who was always hell-bent on finding my presents, I was terrible. I can honestly say it never once ruined the surprise or felt less magical. It made me look forward to Christmas Day even more knowing what I was going to get. I was always so overwhelmed with excitement that my reaction was genuine and so it never spoilt it for my mum either. I never let on that I knew though. Although as an adult I’m not a fan of surprises in general. My DS on the other hand I can honestly say is the total opposite to me and has no interest in knowing what presents he’s got until Christmas morning. I wouldn’t be buying another set of gifts though, that’s madness. We buy presents tailored to the person so it seems silly to change them because they won’t want them any less. It just won’t be a surprise.

nonumbersinthisname · 13/12/2023 14:33

I remember snooping one year at about 9 or 10, finding presents in mums wardrobe and peeling back a bit of sellotape from the end to see what was inside, then putting it all back and acting surprised on the day. Completely normal I think for that age when presents are hugely important to you.

What’s not normal is opening up the presents and playing with the toys inside to the point of not being bothered when caught. Assuming no learning difficulties then that’s very spoiled behaviour. I certainly wouldn’t be buying new gifts and works be seriously reconsidering which of the presents they got under the tree on the day.

mathanxiety · 13/12/2023 14:34

Your friend is daft.

Presents in cupboards? The shed? Amateur mistake. The boot of the car is the place to keep them.

Lumps of coal all round for the kids.

ColleenDonaghy · 13/12/2023 14:35

Are these Santa presents? If so I wouldn't want to ruin Santa, so I'd reorganise. Luckily we have lovely family with zero drama so they would happily swap and give the kids what had been found and have their gifts be from Santa, things like that.

Aria20 · 13/12/2023 14:37

Haha I remember when I was about 6 I found a doll hidden in a drawer under the bed that I knew could only be for me and it was one I desperately wanted, I never told anyone I found it but every night I sneaked to look at it - then a few days before Christmas it was gone. I was so sad! But it turned out my mum had finally wrapped it and put it with the other gifts as I did get it on Christmas morning!

tescocreditcard · 13/12/2023 14:38

No I agree with the others, the consequences of their action are that they have spoiled the surprise for themselves.

mathanxiety · 13/12/2023 14:38

WhichIsItWendy · 13/12/2023 14:09

Seems overly harsh to me. Why do some parents really struggle with their kids behaving like kids. Did you not like to snoop? I know I did - it's natural. Of course, you can tell them off and explain that they have lost their surprise, but give away their gifts? That's just mean. I couldn't do that to my children who I love.

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Surely rule number one of finding the presents is to leave them exactly as you found them, wrapped if they were wrapped. The kids made a rookie mistake here.

I have fond memories of finding my Christmas books around the 10th of December and reading them all cover to cover under mum and dad's bed. Nobody was any the wiser.

DrearyDearyMe · 13/12/2023 14:38

I told my DS they were toys I'd bought to donate, he believed me and was thoroughly disappointed they wernt his. He will be thrilled on xmas to discover they are his

StrawberryJellyBelly · 13/12/2023 14:39

I snooped when I was about 13 and 52 years later I still remember how deflated I felt on Christmas Day when it just wasn’t the same as previous years.

Snowdogsmitten · 13/12/2023 14:40

Greenpolkadot · 13/12/2023 14:19

All the stuff was out. One toy had been taken out it's box.
I think she walked in on them playing with it.
Like most people I haven't got the funds too replace all this and I don't think she has either. She talked about 'looks like I'll have to borrow some money to sort this out ,'. And just laughed...like kids will be kids..wtf..

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So she’s going to not only reward their shit behaviour, but get into debt doing it? Jesus Christ.

Rewis · 13/12/2023 14:42

Part of the house Joy of Christmas was me and my brother going around the house looking for the present stash.

As a joke I was going to say that they wither should watche the present being destroyed and get nothing or make them donate them. But i see that has already been suggested

AcrossthePond55 · 13/12/2023 14:44

They've spoilt their own surprise, that's 'punishment' enough. And I agree with a PP above, if they've snooped then they no longer 'Believe'. So in a way 'no big deal'. The point of hiding is so they think Santa brought the gifts.

I would be very cross though if I found out that an older child snooped and told a younger sibling "See, no such thing as Santa" because that's how I found out. But I was at that 'questioning' stage anyway so it was more a confirmation than a devastation. If an older did tell a younger, if the younger was upset I would scold and give the older a 'penalty' but I certainly wouldn't take their presents away!

FWIW, I always hid the Santa presents at my mum's and wrapped there. Then on Xmas Eve we took the DC out and she snuck them over and put them in my closet. Once they no longer 'officially' believed I locked them in our caravan because DS1 was an inveterate snoop (got it from his dad). DS2 never snooped because he wanted to be surprised. He got that from me!

WhichIsItWendy · 13/12/2023 14:45

Socialyawkward · 13/12/2023 14:21

Well I've never ever in 13 years had to actually give a single one away yet 🤷‍♀️ they ask for and chose out a huge majority of what they get so the rest should be suprises imo keeps the magic alive. They know absolutely where they are kept and actually make fun out of the situation themselves.

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So you don't donate gifts that have been found, because they've never snooped and found them? Seems strange to say that's what you do then?

AnneButNotHathaway · 13/12/2023 14:46

CurlewKate · 13/12/2023 14:04

If they are old enough for them to search without her noticing they don't believe in FC any more. So just shrug and say "oh well, no surprises then. What a shame. Come on now, dinner time." End of discussion.

My thoughts exactly. They did a proper search? Good for them, I guess, but the ruined surprise is their own doing. They still have time to practice surprised faces, though.

ChristmasIsComing2023 · 13/12/2023 14:48

Why would she want to reward them with more gifts for looking for, finding and playing with the gifts that they knew were for Christmas? If she does that, surely they will do the same every year as they will want double the amount of toys?

InvisibleDuck · 13/12/2023 14:48

Buying more would be unreasonable!

I used to snoop as a kid. I didn't really like surprises and to me knowing what I'd got and looking forward to having it was a good thing.

If her kids aren't like that, then lesson learned, they won't snoop again.

crumpet · 13/12/2023 14:49

I’d be tempted to keep some or all of the presents for birthdays and get more, but it would depend on the kids, the finances, what father Christmas does or doesn’t do etc

wordler · 13/12/2023 14:50

I loved finding the presents when I was a kid - but I did it quietly and never told my Mum I’d found them.

Still don’t really like surprises, even nice ones, as an adult.

My Grandma used to unwrap all presents as soon as she was given them, then rewrap them and open on Christmas Day - she lived on her own! No one even watched her unwrap them all for a second time!

MereDintofPandiculation · 13/12/2023 14:51

I was told that the penalty for finding/unwrapping presents was no presents. So I didn’t.

I was allowed to root through the presents under the tree, find any marked for me, and feel, shake and sniff them as much as I wanted so long as I didn’t dislodge the tiniest bit of paper. Took the same approach with DC, no evidence that they abused it. Much easier than having to hide stuff right up to Christmas Day.

Mountainhowl · 13/12/2023 14:53

I'd absolutely give them as planned and not replace. I did similar at that sort of age (7-9) and found some of my gifts, only I didn't say anything as I knew I'd get in trouble. I spoiled the surprise for myself and never did it again after. I'm still not sure my parents know!

pandabear99 · 13/12/2023 14:53

When I was 10 or 11, I found the Amazon delivery note in my mam's bedside drawer. It listed everything she'd bought for me and my brother for Christmas in one huge sitting. That was it. Christmas completely spoiled for both of us.
She didn't go out and buy even ONE new thing. It was my own fault, it's those kid's own fault, and maybe the mother's fault for not hiding them particularly well.

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 13/12/2023 14:54

Omg they’re under 10 and potentially doubting if Santa is real and curious… hardly the crime of the century

extrasushiplease · 13/12/2023 14:54

I always found my presents as a kid, and it never ruined anything for me.

Awumminnscotland · 13/12/2023 14:55

Definitely give the presents as planned. It's not the law it has to be a surprise. Some kids can't cope with surprises and cope better with knowing what they're getting so that would be their norm. They still lovely new toys to play with!
Just a different perspective.

DappledThings · 13/12/2023 14:55

I used to try and find presents because I hated surprises. Hated presents altogether but it was easier if I already knew what they they were.

DC now know where they are and have been told that room is out of bounds. If they choose to go in and spoil surprise that's a shame but nothing would get replaced. But then all their stuff bar stocking presents is now wrapped and under the tree already. We only.do stockings from FC so little need to hide anything as long as we crack on with the wrapping.