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Original poster

Kids found hidden Christmas gifts...what would you do ?

271 replies

Greenpolkadot · 13/12/2023 13:50

Talking with some friends yesterday.
One tells us that her kids (3 under 10 ). found all their gifts from where she had hidden them.
She says they must done a proper search as they were hidden in cupboards ' the shed and various other places.
She took the gifts away but then wonders if she should buy a whole new load of stuff as the suprise has gone .
Personally I would keep the discovered stuff and re-present it on Christmas morning...but she thinks I'm being mean and unreasonable.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 13/12/2023 16:00

ColleenDonaghy · 13/12/2023 14:35

Are these Santa presents? If so I wouldn't want to ruin Santa, so I'd reorganise. Luckily we have lovely family with zero drama so they would happily swap and give the kids what had been found and have their gifts be from Santa, things like that.

Agree. Children are children.Christmases while they are young are special. This suggestion doesn’t reward them and necessitates no extra spend but preserves the magic.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 16:02

I dont personally understand why every gift has to be off Santa; and why kids never question why their parents buy them nothing for Christmas but other people buy them things?

The norm in Ireland is one main Santa gift - the big present - with possibly small surprises. (Of course some people get more presents but I sometimes do a double-take at the long, long lists I see on MN. Not usual at all with anyone I know).

Sometimes parents get presents too - mine always did, and I do too, for exactly that reason - if Santa is bringing presents, why are mum & dad not also buying something.

That's usually the smaller gift.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 13/12/2023 16:04

I think if this was me, they'd get a sad face and a "well I suppose that's your Christmas surprises ruined then". Then I'd put them under the tree when wrapped.

My mum was the absolute Queen of disappointed looks though, I'm still affected by them now!

Macaroni46 · 13/12/2023 16:04

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 16:00

old enough to know better and understand consequences.

For sure, they are old enough to understand that they shouldn't snoop. But not old enough for it to be odd that they may still do it. Have you ever been a child?!!

However, I doubt the ones closer to ten years old still believe anyway.

I see this quite a bit on MN. Most children I knew still believed at 10. Once they get over 10 it's variable.

Even if they didn't believe, I'd be sad at the excitement and magic being spoiled, even if it's a result of their own actions. Kids do stupid stuff, we don't have to be overly punitive in all cases.

I'm not saying be overly punitive. I'm saying don't buy new presents. Give the presents they found and make up a story about Santa.
Yes I was child once (long ago 😂) and have my own DC. For them, the magic of Christmas was less about Santa (my eldest stopped believing age 6) and more about getting new things and having mummy and daddy around to play with them.

Crispedia · 13/12/2023 16:05

My sister and I would always naughtily look for our presents. Didn’t stop the excitement of finally being able to open and play with them on Christmas Day. Crazy to replace.

ColleenDonaghy · 13/12/2023 16:06

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 16:02

I dont personally understand why every gift has to be off Santa; and why kids never question why their parents buy them nothing for Christmas but other people buy them things?

The norm in Ireland is one main Santa gift - the big present - with possibly small surprises. (Of course some people get more presents but I sometimes do a double-take at the long, long lists I see on MN. Not usual at all with anyone I know).

Sometimes parents get presents too - mine always did, and I do too, for exactly that reason - if Santa is bringing presents, why are mum & dad not also buying something.

That's usually the smaller gift.

That's the arrangement in our house (also Irish). They write to Santa for one main present, and then he brings some smaller surprises in their sack. We get one, medium sized present. So the majority of toys hidden in our house ATM are Santa presents and finding them would be a problem. Presents from grandparents come from them and often aren't a surprise.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 16:09

Macaroni46 · 13/12/2023 16:04

I'm not saying be overly punitive. I'm saying don't buy new presents. Give the presents they found and make up a story about Santa.
Yes I was child once (long ago 😂) and have my own DC. For them, the magic of Christmas was less about Santa (my eldest stopped believing age 6) and more about getting new things and having mummy and daddy around to play with them.

Show quote history

I mean, I also said perhaps not to buy new presents (it depends on what they were / or who they were from) but I also didn't agree with you being so harsh about actions of small children. Which they are. And don't need to be berated as having done something terrible.

That's great that Santa wasn't a significant aspect of your DC lives and they had other priorities - but for most families, with DC under 10, Santa is a big deal.

BogRollBOGOF · 13/12/2023 16:17

My two have been known to snoop but I don't think they find anything... I go for hiding in plain sight, as they'll go for obvious places like cupboards, not tucked into clean baskets of laundry. DS's theory is that I must hide them in the loft 😂

If they find them, the natural consequence is that the surprise has gone. It's not that big a deal.

I would not be replacing and absolutely not put myself into debt over it.

FartSock5000 · 13/12/2023 16:19

My brother and I did this twice to my poor folks.

They wrapped them up and put them under the tree and we were delighted anyway because by Xmas morning we'd forgotten what was there.

FlibbedyFlobbedyFloo · 13/12/2023 16:21

They ruined their own surprise. Their choice. Tough luck!

PeloMom · 13/12/2023 16:24

@JustWhatWeDontNeed oh man! Same here! I had asked for a stereo and had a particular one in mind. I snooped and found the one my mom got and was sooo disappointed. At least it gave me a chance to process by Christmas and not show how disappointed I was.

LBFseBrom · 13/12/2023 16:26

I don't think it matters, they won't be using the gifts before Christmas day and now they know what they are looking forward to! They may have already asked for some of them so will expect those. Also, they are bound to have surprises from other people so it doesn't seem a big deal to me.

No, the parents should not feel obliged to buy other things and the children will not expect that. They'll have a good time opening stuff on Christmas day plus other Christmassy things.

Treesinmygarden · 13/12/2023 16:26

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 15:45

Oh give over. Santa presents or not they shouldn't have snooped and not getting a surprise is the consequence.

Why do some posters have to be so rude in their replies? (No I'm not new to MN, but it really does get tiresome).

Why 'give over'? It's a valid point, even if you disagree?

If they are Santa presents, and these are children under 10, the magic of Santa / Christmas is ruined for them - of course an alternative is needed. Sure much gnashing of teeth etc and perhaps it wouldn't be fully possible etc and creative explanations might be required - but the idea that as an adult you would just coldly see 'they snooped. so no Santa surprise' is horrible.

They are small children, doing the kind of things small children do.

^ this!

I'd be most upset about Santa being ruined. What I would do is tell them that you have bought the presents but you have to take them to Santa's shop for him to deliver on Christmas Eve.

Always told mine anyway that mum and dad had to pay Santa.

Definitely would not be buying new presents - even more so because she can't afford them. She needs to get more creative with her hiding things!

itsmyp4rty · 13/12/2023 16:29

The anticipation of getting the presents they know about can be as good (if not better IMO!) than the surprise.

Jetstream · 13/12/2023 16:32

We found the Christmas presents as children, in our defence they not well hidden.
We still got them on Christmas day. Learned many life lessons from it.

LookItsMeAgain · 13/12/2023 16:33

If I was that mother, I would have had the first impression of "Oh no kids, you've found the presents that Mrs. X asked me to look after. Oh no, you've opened one of them. What am I to do?? What are you doing??? You shouldn't play with anything that you don't own" play a little game that you were looking after the presents for someone else and now that child won't have the toy to play with because they are playing with it instead.

Denimdenimdenim · 13/12/2023 16:33

Absolutely not!

I remember I snooped for gifts once when I was a kid. When my mum found out she gave me a telling off. On Christmas day I opened all the gifts I had found, minus one. I feel she was trying to teach me a lesson. It worked, I didn't snoop again 😆

ToWhitToWhoo · 13/12/2023 16:36

Well, it's up to her not you, but I'd agree with you: (1) The children actively searched, knowing that, if they found the gifts, they would no longer be a surprise - so they were prepared to accept that consequence; (2) While I don't think it was a crime for them to search, I also don't think it's something that deserves a huge reward of loads of extra presents; (3) I think that adults tend to over-rate the importance of the surprise aspect of Christmas gifts. For some children, the surprise element is a key part of the magic (but such children probably won't search in advance anyway); but for most, it's just the excitement of getting (and hopefully giving) nice presents in a fun atmosphere.

randomstress · 13/12/2023 16:36

I have never hidden them, I've just kept them in a big box in my bedroom. If they want to look and ruin it more fool them. They have never looked as far as I know.

This has always been my approach as well. Whether their gifts are a surprise is up to them. Honestly I don't mind either way.

Original poster
Greenpolkadot · 13/12/2023 16:36

IveOnlyEverHeardOutwithONHere · 13/12/2023 14:25

So your friend wants to reward her kids for deliberately searching the house to find out what they’ve got? Well, if she does she’s daft, and her kids will grow up to be right spoilt brats. And, you know, kids who are allowed to get away with it can be manipulative, so next year, if something they’re disappointed with, they’ll just make it known that they’ve found it so they get something different. That’s what you encourage when you reward bad behaviour.

Totally agree.
I haven't got the funds to buy all new stuff out the patience to re-wrap the original stuff.
Luckily..as far as I know...my two dd's never snooped. Iv got some great hiding places and helpful neighbours

OP posts:
Justleaveitblankthen · 13/12/2023 16:38

I could never understand as children, my friend and her little brother would hunt down their presents.
It made me feel weirdly sad for them 🥴
My DC have turned out just like me and would be horrified to accidentally come across something.

evtheria · 13/12/2023 16:40

FlibbedyFlobbedyFloo · 13/12/2023 16:21

They ruined their own surprise. Their choice. Tough luck!

Yep. I'd not be buying new gifts.

Tiredalwaystired · 13/12/2023 16:45

CharlotteBog · 13/12/2023 15:22

Can you say with absolute certainty that your children have never snooped? How do you know?
Of course not all children do, but it's not at all uncommon.

Show quote history

Absolutely certainty. And they’re now late teens. Never crossed their minds.

TeaGinandFags · 13/12/2023 16:48

MondayBags678 · 13/12/2023 13:52

No way I’d buy more

I was one of tbose kids years ago.

She caught me playing with my new toy in November when I was about two or three.

She was not impressed.

I got the little toys that I didn't find wrapped up and the big toy I did find had a bow on it. Then she learned to hide things in the attic and not under her bed.

AND she told me that I was getting bugger all from Santa for being naughty!

JussathoB · 13/12/2023 16:49

The three year old will probably forget the details and will be pleased with the gifts on Christmas Day. The ten year old is too old to believe in Santa, knows you but the presents before Dec 25th. So they will also be pleased with the gifts on Christmas Day.
it’s not that big a problem really. But next year if you want to preserve the surprise for your younger one, you need to discuss this with your older child, or ask family or friend to keep the presents maybe