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Original poster

Kids found hidden Christmas gifts...what would you do ?

271 replies

Greenpolkadot · 13/12/2023 13:50

Talking with some friends yesterday.
One tells us that her kids (3 under 10 ). found all their gifts from where she had hidden them.
She says they must done a proper search as they were hidden in cupboards ' the shed and various other places.
She took the gifts away but then wonders if she should buy a whole new load of stuff as the suprise has gone .
Personally I would keep the discovered stuff and re-present it on Christmas morning...but she thinks I'm being mean and unreasonable.

OP posts:
JoyeuxNarwhal · 13/12/2023 15:38

Greenpolkadot · 13/12/2023 14:19

All the stuff was out. One toy had been taken out it's box.
I think she walked in on them playing with it.
Like most people I haven't got the funds too replace all this and I don't think she has either. She talked about 'looks like I'll have to borrow some money to sort this out ,'. And just laughed...like kids will be kids..wtf..

Show quote history

Like fuck would I be replacing things in that circumstance! She's mad.

housethatbuiltme · 13/12/2023 15:38

Our gifts aren't hidden, they are simply in my bedroom. Kid know they don't go in other peoples bedrooms as thats private/personal space so in 15 years its never been an issue.

There is no way I could replace all the gifts now (if say we had a fire etc...) but if your friend only does 2 or 3 gifts it might be doable to buy more but frankly I don't think the kids should be rewarded... they ruined it for themselves, their punishment should be the consequence of their own actions.

To the people saying its normal to search out the gifts/snoop and that everybody does it... I'm sorry but you are wrong, same way its not 'everybody' lies at the self checkout and not 'everybody' goes through their loved ones phones etc... YOU might have no self control but don't excuse that by thinking everyone else does it too.

hellsBells246 · 13/12/2023 15:39

If kids go looking for gifts, then they risk finding them 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would not buy new gifts. They won't do it again.

Jacfrost · 13/12/2023 15:40

Absolutely no way would I buy new stuff, that's bonkers.

In all honestly I'd even feel like not wrapping it up (I would though.)

DD knows that her presents are in my wardrobe and she'd never ruin it for herself.

Pipistrellus · 13/12/2023 15:43

I would give the presents on Christmas and I wouldn't wrap them again. They've already had the excitement of unwrapping once, I would not reward them for bad behaviour and give the presents rewrapped.

3 under 10, so I assume one is 9? That's old enough to know they were doing the wrong thing by searching, let alone unwrapping! I would expect them to know not to unwrap something they have found by 4.

sueelleker · 13/12/2023 15:44

HAF1119 · 13/12/2023 13:56

Crikey this makes me feel my mum was mean! I found mine (things were more restricted back then, it was 2 presents) and my mum told me she took both back as you shouldn't look for them. I got one but not the other in the end.. I didn't search again!

Our Mum always told us that ours were in her wardrobe; and not to go there. We never did. YANBU-it's not as if her kids found the gifts by accident; it was deliberate.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 15:45

Oh give over. Santa presents or not they shouldn't have snooped and not getting a surprise is the consequence.

Why do some posters have to be so rude in their replies? (No I'm not new to MN, but it really does get tiresome).

Why 'give over'? It's a valid point, even if you disagree?

If they are Santa presents, and these are children under 10, the magic of Santa / Christmas is ruined for them - of course an alternative is needed. Sure much gnashing of teeth etc and perhaps it wouldn't be fully possible etc and creative explanations might be required - but the idea that as an adult you would just coldly see 'they snooped. so no Santa surprise' is horrible.

They are small children, doing the kind of things small children do.

azlazee1 · 13/12/2023 15:45

I would still give the gifts but perhaps one or two more they didn't know about.

SpringleDingle · 13/12/2023 15:46

I told my DD very early on not to look for presents as it would spoil the surprise. I would not replace. I'd wrap up and give them to them as planned. They still get presents!!!

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 15:47

To the people saying its normal to search out the gifts/snoop and that everybody does it... I'm sorry but you are wrong, same way its not 'everybody' lies at the self checkout and not 'everybody' goes through their loved ones phones etc... YOU might have no self control but don't excuse that by thinking everyone else does it too.

It's not 'normal' or 'abnormal' to search for gifts. Going looking for various things you are not meant to is absolutely pretty typical for most CHILDREN however, at some point or another.

it's not remotely comparable to (adult) behaviours of lying at checkouts (what even is that?) or checking a partner's phone.

It's not about posters' self-control; it's the nature of children - yes, not all children will, but it doesn't mean that a child who does is doing something very wrong.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 15:48

BestZebbie · 13/12/2023 15:35

Just to say that they might not actually be children who want a surprise - not all kids do! For some children it is better to know roughly what they are getting in advance for a variety of reasons, including being better able to manage their reactions on the day if they don't get what they wanted but still want to look excited and happy in front of their parents, or just being incredibly anxious about what they might or might not get due to the uncertainty and build-up (imagine if you only got paid at work once a year, but it was an arbitrary amount of cash in an envelope given to you personally by the company CEO and opened in front of them).

That's a good point!

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 15:49

C1N1C · 13/12/2023 15:36

Hide them, give them away... give the kids coal and say Santa was upset with them for snooping. Naughty kids get coal.

They need to make it up to mum, who very kindly looked after them as one of the reindeer was sick this year, so Santa had to DPD them here early. Only if they do all their chores and mum writes a blinding review next year will they be off the naughty list.

I assume this is a joke?

justasking111 · 13/12/2023 15:52

I found presents accidentally when I was eight. I kept very quiet about it. I hid mine at a neighbours. My DILS hide them with relatives.

Kids will nose or find accidentally

Macaroni46 · 13/12/2023 15:53

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 15:45

Oh give over. Santa presents or not they shouldn't have snooped and not getting a surprise is the consequence.

Why do some posters have to be so rude in their replies? (No I'm not new to MN, but it really does get tiresome).

Why 'give over'? It's a valid point, even if you disagree?

If they are Santa presents, and these are children under 10, the magic of Santa / Christmas is ruined for them - of course an alternative is needed. Sure much gnashing of teeth etc and perhaps it wouldn't be fully possible etc and creative explanations might be required - but the idea that as an adult you would just coldly see 'they snooped. so no Santa surprise' is horrible.

They are small children, doing the kind of things small children do.

Children aged 8, 9, 10 are not that little and old enough to know better and understand consequences. They're still getting presents and a story can be concocted if necessary, to keep the Santa magic alive. However, I doubt the ones closer to ten years old still believe anyway.

Lovemusic82 · 13/12/2023 15:53

Santa only brings stocking in our house, this has solved any presents being found, we buy the bigger gifts and of course they are hidden somewhere in the house. Kids shouldn’t be snooping……though me and my brother used to snoop every year.

AuntieMarys · 13/12/2023 15:53

They won't do it next year. I certainly wouldn't buy them replacement gifts

lattemerde · 13/12/2023 15:54

CustardySergeant · 13/12/2023 14:29

She should tell the children that, as they've found the presents, she's going to buy all new presents so that they'll still have a lovely surprise on Christmas morning.

Then on Christmas morning she should give them the presents they found (not having bought any new ones).

When they open them, they'll be surprised won't they?

Mission accomplished! 🤣😂🤣

😋

I was thinking : give the presents they have snooped to charity. gift-wrap a bag of coal for christmas morning. Even more of a surprise.

incywincyspidery · 13/12/2023 15:55

If your friend buys more present she'll be actively reinforcing that if you find and open your presents before you are given them, you'll get double presents. They'll do the same every year. How stupid is she?
I'm also concerned that they didn't just find them, they actually started playing with them and weren't worried about the consequences of that. Boundaries need setting asap or she'll have bigger and bigger problems the older they get.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 15:57

Children aged 8, 9, 10 are not that little

Did I miss this? Is that their ages? I thought she said 3 under 10 - that's not likely to be 8, 9, 10 is it?

Star11111 · 13/12/2023 15:58

santa only brings one or two gifts in our house and all other gifts are off whoever gifted them. It’s a lot easier to hide a single gift and everything else is wrapped. This year she’s asked for books off Santa, last year was a board game, year before a dolls pram etc
I dont personally understand why every gift has to be off Santa; and why kids never question why their parents buy them nothing for Christmas but other people buy them things? In movies Santa only brings one gift too so it’s familiar from that point of view.

If the kids are young enough you could just change the present giving theory similar to ours; “oh you found your gifts from mum and dad, that’s a shame. I wonder what Santa will bring you, what did you write on your Santa list this year? Oh no looks like mum and dad already bought you that, maybe ask Santa for a different present” then you only need to buy one present and the magic is still alive.

Nowherenew · 13/12/2023 15:58

I’ve always told my DC that if she goes looking for her presents then she won’t get them and I’ll send them back to the shop and not replacing them.

I would never be so mean but I explained how it takes time and money to get them and they are for birthdays/Christmas and not before.

I would just give them the gifts that they saw and threaten them with getting rid of them if they ever do it again.

If they get new money presents then they could find their presents every year to purposely get new ones.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2023 16:00

old enough to know better and understand consequences.

For sure, they are old enough to understand that they shouldn't snoop. But not old enough for it to be odd that they may still do it. Have you ever been a child?!!

However, I doubt the ones closer to ten years old still believe anyway.

I see this quite a bit on MN. Most children I knew still believed at 10. Once they get over 10 it's variable.

Even if they didn't believe, I'd be sad at the excitement and magic being spoiled, even if it's a result of their own actions. Kids do stupid stuff, we don't have to be overly punitive in all cases.

SirenSays · 13/12/2023 16:00

I wouldn't buy more but I wouldn't get mad about snooping. I always did, it's easier to hide the disappointment that way.

wronginalltherightways · 13/12/2023 16:00

I wouldn't be buying 'new' ones ... they'd be getting what they found. On Christmas. As planned.

auburnglow788 · 13/12/2023 16:00

Mine did this when they were 3,5 and 7. They went into a cupboard that they never usually bothered with and found them. I told them that they weren't for them and that I'd bought them to give as presents when they went to parties etc. By the time Christmas Day came around, they seem to have forgotten and were over the moon with their presents. There was no way, I was going to buy more to replace them.