Married 2 years. DHs family forgot our anniversary. Mine remembered.

[crossroads1]

DH's family forgot our anniversary, only been married 2 years. They remember all other important dates. But no effort for us. My family all remembered first thing in the morning and sent us both messages.

Should i bring this up to DH? I just want to tell my in laws where to stick it!!

Could this be my chance to distance myself from them? My get out of jail free card? I never liked them from the beginning.

I'm not actually 100% sure of my own 😂

If you don't like them what are you on about what's app group with them?
You sound rather immature and only looking for people to agree with you .

YABU

Are you sure you're old enough to be married?

Petty and ridiculous.

Thanks for the laugh 😂

If your husband shares your view of his family, then you don't need an excuse to distance. However in the event he loves them and wants to maintain a relationship with them, I'd question why you'd want to use a flimsy excuse to come between him and them and put him in the unenviable position of being in the middle. 'Distancing' from a family a partner wants a relationship with causes a great deal of pain for the partner, and is an option of last resort. Not a game, or a huffy little gesture because they've displeased you in a minor way.

I didn’t expect our families to remember our wedding anniversary. It’s for the couple.

as we say on mumsnet, you don't have an in law problem, you have a DH problem. why is he not taking his family to task for forgetting this amazing milestone?

LTB

No one else cares when your wedding anniversary is.

Such nonsense. Nobody cares when anybody else's anniversary is. Most of the time I don't even remember my own.

The ink on your marriage certificate isn't dry yet.

Get over two decades in and you won't worry about remembering it!!

My in-laws send us an anniversary card each year and I find it bloody weird. Why on earth is it of any interest to anyone but you and your husband.

An anniversary is for you two. Why would family be expected to remember without prompting?

some people are good with cards etc, some people are not.

It’s not up to them to remember/really acknowledge tbh. Always pleasantly surprised when my own sister remembers.

My parents have never sent anniversary wishes - ever. I could not care less!

It does rather sound as though you are looking for an excuse to be annoyed with them.

Literally no one cares about a wedding anniversary apart from the couple (sometimes not even the couple). We forget ours sometimes and then go oh shit it was our anniversary last week. Who cares!

This would be the most stupid of hills to die on OP. Seriously. Get over yourself.

Because you don't like them and they know it.

Me and my husband always forget ours (10 years married) so I definitely wouldn't expect my family or my in laws to remember!!

The only people that a wedding anniversary date is important to is the couple who got married on that date.

That's it.

It was important to the families and friends of these people for the actual wedding day itself and beyond that, not important at all.

If you're trying to find a reason to stop being in contact with your husband's family, I think you're going to have to try harder.

I understand your frustration as everyone else gets a mention and not you. Not worth distancing yourself, that seems a bit much.

I remember some family's wedding days better than others but it's due to other events, like my BIL getting married the day before the Queen's funeral, or my cousin getting married on the first day of the Olympics in 2012. I'll not forget those, but I forgot my sister's because it was just a normal Saturday in July a couple of years ago.

@crossroads1

Could this be my chance to distance myself from them? My get out of jail free card? I never liked them from the beginning.

My SiL didn't like me from day 1. She was overly-saccharine to me at first but I could feel and see the dislike on her face. She may have thought she hid it well, but even MiL could see it. I chose to be more honest so I simply stayed away from her and was distantly polite. I certainly didn't buy her birthday cards or call her on their anniversary.

So, if you've never liked DH's family, what else would you expect but dislike or 'coldness' in return? I'm sure they know you don't like them and they may very well feel the same about you. You acknowledge their anniversaries/B-days with false 'good wishes', but maybe they choose to be more honest and just ignore someone they know doesn't like them.

Also, if they ignore your good wishes and don't return them, then stop giving them. All it's doing is giving you fuel for the fire of your resentment, which I expect is why you do it. Leave any communications with them to your DH and just back away.

As far as 'distancing yourself' from them, that's your decision. Just remember that you don't have the right to make that decision for your DH. It's up to him to decide what relationship he wants with his family, not you. And if you have children, you and he will have equal say in any relationship they have with his family. TBH, if my DH hadn't got along with my family and tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to take my children to see them, I'd have told him to fuck right off.

This, a second wedding anniversary, no big deal.

But DO they remember the date? Or do they see your DHs message on the famchat and then remember? Maybe not everyone in the family is as thoughtful as DH? I wouldn’t take it personally.

I celebrate everyone’s birthday in the family, never forget one but don’t do anything for other peoples anniversaries unless they’re celebrating a big one and marking the occasion somehow. In my mind a wedding anniversary is something for you to celebrate between yourselves.

Maybe you have made your animosity towards them very clear, so they wish that you hadn't married their son, and they don't want to be 2 faced about it.. They are probably sparing both your and your DH's feelings by not pointing out to you how unreasonable and unfriendly they find you..