Married 2 years. DHs family forgot our anniversary. Mine remembered.

[crossroads1]

DH's family forgot our anniversary, only been married 2 years. They remember all other important dates. But no effort for us. My family all remembered first thing in the morning and sent us both messages.

Should i bring this up to DH? I just want to tell my in laws where to stick it!!

Could this be my chance to distance myself from them? My get out of jail free card? I never liked them from the beginning.

I think most posters got that and are telling you it is not a big deal.

They probably forgot. The anniversary only really matters to you two. Is your DP that bothered about it? Your 'day' didn't get a mention - so what? Did it impact you in any meaningful way?

In the nicest possible way: having a hissy fit because this pretty irrelevant to everyone else date wasn't posted on Whatsapp sounds childish.

anniversarys are celebrated between a couple, not wider family.

YABU

Blimey. I've never expected anyone else to acknowledge our anniversary! I really don't think it is very common. Maybe if they normally send messages to other family/friends on their anniversary you might be a bit offended that they forgot you but maybe (like most other people) they just don't!

And no, most people would not consider this a reason to distance yourself!!

Wedding Anniversaries aren’t necessarily regarded as something people outside the couple keep. In my family and DHs our parents did remember until too old and ill to but it doesn’t necessarily go like that

It's sad that they forgot, especially if they remember everyone else's but don't be the one to cause a rift in the family, they are going to be a part of your life for years.

Your anniversary is for you and your husband. Nobody else needs to remember it.

normally i wouldnt care, but if its memorable for everyone else in the family why not ours

Probably everyone else likes each other

i never liked them from the beginning

Maybe they know this & that's why. Maybe don't want to celebrate the day someone who doesn't like them married their son.

Ok if it's a thing to message on anniversaries and they just missed yours then it's a bit different. Get DH to have a quiet word.

It would be OTT to distance because of this.

My Fil remembers ours, we don't...

Last year he asked me what we were doing and I told him all about my mammogram appointment, before DH coughed to remind me the date.

This year, neither of us remembered until we got a card...

Should i bring this up to DH? I just want to tell my in laws where to stick it!!

Could this be my chance to distance myself from them? My get out of jail free card? I never liked them from the beginning.

I think if you liked them this would not irk you. You would just shrug your shoulders and say, 'what are they like, never mind, they are very kind in other ways' or somesuch.

But honestly? Them remembering your anniversary is not going to make you like them more, so if you want to distance yourself for whatever spurious reason, you could literally pick anything.

They might be grateful you pull the plug, tbh....

Don’t be ridiculous!

That’s being too kind.

She should do that, then set their house on fire.

Oh ffs 🤦‍♀️

I set up a "girls'" night out on my son's birthday last month! And had to hastily unbook myself a few days beforehand.

Oops 😳😂

You are coming across as very needy I suspect the ill feeling between you and your inlaws goes both ways.
Your hubby and you made a romantic vow to each other - why on earth do you think others need to get in on that? It would be like celebrating wow you made it to two years together...?

How do you know they actually remember though, rather than they have been reminded by a member of the couple concerned mentioning it's their anniversary plans in the couple of days beforehand? It only takes it to have been mentioned to one person to then prompt everyone else. If neither you nor your DH have mentioned your anniversary there's been no prompt.

If it's that your DH remembers first then I'd guess he's the one with the memory for dates and his message prompts everyone else

Alternatively it may be that the other dates are easier to remember for some reason. For example I find it much easier to remember one bil's birthday than the other - purely because their birthday is exactly six months after mine. Nothing to do with them as people - just an easier to remember date (for me).

I never remember anyone's wedding anniversary other than my own anniversary

Honestly I don’t even remember I’d never expect family to remember. Jesus very self involved

WOW!

You clearly must hate them - fine own it. Don't go looking for crappy excuses like this to distance yourself from them as you will just end up looking like a complete dick.

No one in my family acknowledges my wedding anniversaries and it honestly never crossed my mind that they should! Sometimes DH and I forget about it - it's NOT A BIG DEAL. It's a date in a calendar.

I’ve never understood this about celebrating someone’s wedding anniversary. Surely it’s just for the couple to celebrate and acknowledge?
I couldn’t have even told you when my parents anniversary was, let alone anyone else’s.
You’d be unreasonable to make fuss over this.

Congratulations on not getting divorced.

(But do them a favour and leave the Whatsapp group, so everyone can see "crossroads1 has left the group".

You hugely entertaining them could be your one kindness.)

So are you looking to use it as an excuse for you personally to go no contact or for you to convince DH to go no contact with his whole family over this? If just the first part, are you planning kids? Will they also be barred from contact because they didn't remember it? Does that all seem a little hysterical and over the top to you? Yes, me too.

Sooooo, you openly admit you hate them and don’t appear to be making much effort to hide it. All they've got to do is forget to type a few random words and you’ll ditch them. They no longer have to deal with your drama, and they get to take the moral high ground when any one asks what went on, as you will look frankly unhinged. Sounds like a win to me.

OP, do you send your inlaws an anniversary card every year?
Or do you just expect them to send you one?

YABVU.

Just because you wish others a happy anniversary doesn’t mean they have to do the same to you.

They may have just forgot or not realised.

I’d try and look past it. It’s a complete non-issue. It’s not like they’ve singled you out at Christmas and not given a gift/well-wishes.