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AIBU?

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Original poster

Married 2 years. DHs family forgot our anniversary. Mine remembered.

564 replies

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 13:45

DH's family forgot our anniversary, only been married 2 years. They remember all other important dates. But no effort for us. My family all remembered first thing in the morning and sent us both messages.

Should i bring this up to DH? I just want to tell my in laws where to stick it!!

Could this be my chance to distance myself from them? My get out of jail free card? I never liked them from the beginning.

OP posts:
Mogloveseggs · 12/12/2023 18:55

Bloody hell I forget my anniversary never mind my in laws!

Castleview6 · 12/12/2023 18:56

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 14:11

Because they remember everyone elses in the immediate family apart from ours?

Show quote history

Don’t think they forgot - maybe they did it to distance themselves from you.

brentwoods · 12/12/2023 18:57

It's YOUR anniversary. Nobody else cares. Why be offended?

Divastrout · 12/12/2023 18:58

Cosyblankets · 12/12/2023 13:50

Oh behave

This!!

venus7 · 12/12/2023 18:59

It's your anniversary; not Christmas, the second coming or the US election.
It's not important to anyone other than you two.

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 12/12/2023 19:00

The only anniversary I celebrate is my own.

I don't have a clue what the dates of other relatives anniversaries are.

I think you need to get over yourself.

Starzinsky · 12/12/2023 19:04

Unrealistic expectations here. Its not normal to acknowledge anniversaries of other people. Those that do have far too much time on their hands.

Original poster
crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 19:04

This is not about 'remembering our anniversary.'

It's about being treated differently to the rest of the family. My other SIL (married into the family) has had full blown arguments with MIL, yet, even she still gets a birthday and anniversary message.

I have never had an argument with any of them - i have always bitten my tongue, I internally get fed up but outwardsly i have always been respectful. Me and DH have spoken about lack of effort on his familys part many times before. and even he ackowledges this.

OP posts:
Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 19:05

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 19:04

This is not about 'remembering our anniversary.'

It's about being treated differently to the rest of the family. My other SIL (married into the family) has had full blown arguments with MIL, yet, even she still gets a birthday and anniversary message.

I have never had an argument with any of them - i have always bitten my tongue, I internally get fed up but outwardsly i have always been respectful. Me and DH have spoken about lack of effort on his familys part many times before. and even he ackowledges this.

So did they not know you complained about their wedding gifts?

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 19:06

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 19:04

This is not about 'remembering our anniversary.'

It's about being treated differently to the rest of the family. My other SIL (married into the family) has had full blown arguments with MIL, yet, even she still gets a birthday and anniversary message.

I have never had an argument with any of them - i have always bitten my tongue, I internally get fed up but outwardsly i have always been respectful. Me and DH have spoken about lack of effort on his familys part many times before. and even he ackowledges this.

Did they now witness how badly you treated DH?

BeggyMitchell · 12/12/2023 19:06

Mogloveseggs · 12/12/2023 18:55

Bloody hell I forget my anniversary never mind my in laws!

I could never remember mine either, I remembered the day we met though, my brain seemed to think that was more important!

elliejjtiny · 12/12/2023 19:07

If they remember all the other anniversaries in the family except yours then yes that's rude. But in general, anniversaries are about the couple only. My mum and PIL give us cards but I don't expect anything. Me and dh usually go out for breakfast or lunch, firstly on our own, then accompanied by babies/toddlers and these days accompanied by post exam teenagers.

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 12/12/2023 19:07

I only ever congratulate my parents on their wedding anniversary, no one else in my family or my friends! I mean if someone said 'It's my wedding anniversary on Wednesday' or whatever of course I'd say 'Aww, Happy Anniversary!' and wish them a lovely day of it but I wouldn't bother to remember. Anniversaries are for the couple in question, possibly their kids who wouldn't exist without the marriage, that's really it.

Original poster
crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 19:07

elliejjtiny · 12/12/2023 19:07

If they remember all the other anniversaries in the family except yours then yes that's rude. But in general, anniversaries are about the couple only. My mum and PIL give us cards but I don't expect anything. Me and dh usually go out for breakfast or lunch, firstly on our own, then accompanied by babies/toddlers and these days accompanied by post exam teenagers.

Yes they all remember each others!

OP posts:
Original poster
crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 19:08

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 19:05

So did they not know you complained about their wedding gifts?

Show quote history

i complained to DH about this who agreed they missed a trick

OP posts:
Casperroonie · 12/12/2023 19:09

Omg it's your anniversary not theirs, why should they even care....?

Noglitterallowed · 12/12/2023 19:10

Sounds like you’re bitter towards them. If this is a genuine question and you think this is worth distancing yourself from his family then how lucky are you that that’s a big problem in your life! 😂🤦‍♀️🙄honestly unbelievable

Tandora · 12/12/2023 19:11

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 19:04

This is not about 'remembering our anniversary.'

It's about being treated differently to the rest of the family. My other SIL (married into the family) has had full blown arguments with MIL, yet, even she still gets a birthday and anniversary message.

I have never had an argument with any of them - i have always bitten my tongue, I internally get fed up but outwardsly i have always been respectful. Me and DH have spoken about lack of effort on his familys part many times before. and even he ackowledges this.

I’m sure they didn’t forget to spite you! It’s bloody exhausting trying to remember everyone’s birthdays, let alone anniversaries. Why didn’t either you or dh remind them by sending a text? So petty,

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 19:11

@crossroads1 perhaps your DH told his family 🤷‍♀️

Noglitterallowed · 12/12/2023 19:13

There’s one anniversary I remember and it’s because it’s on Valentine’s Day: I even forget my own sometimes! A wedding anniversary isn’t important unless it’s your own to be fair

DC1888 · 12/12/2023 19:13

If you said "DH forgot our anniversary " only then would you have a reason to complain OP. Outside the couple (and kids) nobody gives a monkeys.

greenbeansnspinach · 12/12/2023 19:14

Other people don’t usually remember your wedding anniversaries, except when the major ones start coming round after about 25 years when it starts to become an achievement! I wouldn’t read anything into it whatsoever.

Passingthethyme · 12/12/2023 19:15

Why would they remember? You sound like hard work OP!!

THEDEACON · 12/12/2023 19:15

Whilst our families mark anniversaries I still think your attitude stinks

dothehokeycokey · 12/12/2023 19:16

@crossroads1

Please don't be that person that demands YOUR anniversary is remembered every single year please don't

My mother is like this after 50 years of being married.

She totally expects us all to present flowers cards gifts every year in their anniversary.

Their anniversary is THEIR speacial day for them to celebrate however they wish to.

Yours is the same.

My in laws never remember ours and we don't remember theirs.