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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Big boobs

185 replies

Mooshamoo · 12/12/2023 12:00

I'm five foot 3 size 12, I have massive boobs. I've been wearing a size 38FF lately. This is the only one that fits me . Which is a bit tight. I think that I'm actually a size G. But they don't stock 38GG in my local shops. I'm going to have to buy online.

I'm just a bit fed up of having big boobs! If I visit my mother she tells me to get a better bra as I'm very "booby". I look booby in everything.

I feel like I can't wear a t-shirt as I look so busty. My boobs look huge in everything. I don't mind them personally if Im just by myself.

But I just think that people over sexualise me everywhere I go. If I go to a meetup group, the men all talk to my boobs. It's very hard to dress myself without looking extremely sexual.

They are also heavy. Sometimes I just wish I had smaller boobs for an easier life!

OP posts:
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6
OkayScooby · 12/12/2023 15:25

I hate that my huge boobs are the first thing people seem to see.
I sometimes used to feel as though they walked into a room before me.
Much, much improved now with a tight underband and a proper fitting bra.
I really like a balconette smoothing minimiser bra. Game changer.

greencheetah · 12/12/2023 15:35

I’m a size 14 and 34H. I can’t imagine how you are a 38 but anyway…

Why can’t you dress in a way that doesn’t show off your boobs? Do you think it might be that your clothes are too small? Or the wrong design and shape for your figure?

V necks with a cami or t shirt underneath are flattering, never a high neck as that will make you look huge. Nothing too tight or clingy. Also nothing sleeveless if your boobs stick out wider over your arms.

I think you need to treat yourself to a big trying on session.

therealcookiemonster · 12/12/2023 15:36

you are not the only one. I am 32K! i have one word for you - bravissimo. the panache tango bras there are a lifesaver.

if you are really unhappy. reduction is always an option. patients report high rates of satisfaction with reduction surgery

cristokitty · 12/12/2023 17:12

Go to bravissimo and get a properly fitted bra. Whenever I make excuses not to regularly spend money on replacing bras I remember Oprah at Harry and Meghan's wedding. She looked fantastic and you could see her waist.

Big boobs
shearwater2 · 13/12/2023 05:50

MsMarch · 12/12/2023 14:58

I didn't know clothes were designed for people in the mid 40s! GrinAren't clothes just clothes?

I don't know if you've said if you have large breasts or not. I do and find that dresses with a waist do tend to ride up a bit because the breasts are taking up more of the bodice than they should but if I go up a size, then I run the risk of the dress being droopy or loose around my shoulders/waist/hips. So it is a challenge. So fitted dresses without a specific waist tend to be better for me than dresses designed with an actual waist unless the fabric and style is purposefully swishy and I can go up a size. This is especially true when I am slimmer. Similarly, I like a fitted, but with stretch, jumper-shirt when I am slimmer as it expands to fit my breasts, but still nips in at the waist as required.

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No, but some clothes seem to be designed for people want to cover up in a tent at all sizes, and don't be faux-naïve about shops having a particular age group in mind. And it's much easier to design and make boxy clothes with no shape, so it's also cost cutting. I was expressing surprise that the OP couldn't find clothes to cover up with, as that's all I seem to find, unless I go into shops aimed more at younger people- and that can go too much the other way. I might want something nicely fitted but I don't necessarily want a cropped top.

shearwater2 · 13/12/2023 06:04

I do agree with the OP's point though that people with big boobs are more sexualised by others, no matter what you wear. I found that even at school and I was only a C cup. I've gone from a 38DD to a 34DD in the last few years, and I feel so much better - not just two and a half stone lighter but from my breasts being smaller and lighter which then makes exercise easier and helps keep the weight and fat off.

MsMarch · 13/12/2023 10:14

shearwater2 · 13/12/2023 05:50

No, but some clothes seem to be designed for people want to cover up in a tent at all sizes, and don't be faux-naïve about shops having a particular age group in mind. And it's much easier to design and make boxy clothes with no shape, so it's also cost cutting. I was expressing surprise that the OP couldn't find clothes to cover up with, as that's all I seem to find, unless I go into shops aimed more at younger people- and that can go too much the other way. I might want something nicely fitted but I don't necessarily want a cropped top.

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I think as a rule, ladies like me and OP with larger busts, find it hard to find clothes to cover us up because they're not designed for large breasts. So while on a woman with small or normal sized breasts, that top or shirt might feel like it's covering everything, on us, we're still spilling out or drawing insane attention to our breasts without wanting to.

As someone who prefers clothes that are more flexible, I'll take your word for it about not being able to find clothes that are fitted but not crop tops/ body con! It doesn't feel like that to me because so often if I can fit it over the bust it is too baggy and big over the waist. It wouldn't surprise me though if properly fitted clothes like that are only available in more expensive brands - just like when I was wearing smart dresses for work, I generally found that a good tailored dress was only available at the pricier brands as I guess the more cheap and cheerful ones don't have the budget to make them.

SENlife · 13/12/2023 10:28

Elomi are great for larger cup sizes. Agree your bra size sounds off. I'm a 16 and in 34 k/kk. I wear the Brianna so comfy often forget I'm wearing it

FarmGirl78 · 13/12/2023 17:25

Try Asda. They do 36G, so if 36f isn't big enough that should be your next choice rather than 38f. Maybe 38G. But I definitely think Asda 36G would be worth a try. They're only £5/6 each with underwired soft cups and really comfy. My first port of call since Debenhams closed.

Thenewmags · 14/12/2023 15:28

Thenewmags · 12/12/2023 14:45

I was just baffled by people’s insistence you aren’t a size 38 🤔When I was last fitted pre-pandemic, I was a size 34 but was considerably slimmer then. so it makes sense with the increased weight (over 3 stone) I went up to a size 38 because a lot of the weight went on my back and I discovered back rolls for the first time 😂I find it looks very ageing 😩

Do update us if you get fitted in-store and in the meantime there’s videos on YouTube on how to measure your bra size. And some companies do virtual fittings if you’re not able to get into a store anytime soon. https://www.bravissimo.com/virtual-fitting/

It was about being seen as a very sexual person because I have big boobs. Breasts are seen as sexual and you can't really hide them. I am grateful for them in one way. But in another way I would just like a way to hide them sometimes so I look less sexual.

Agreed, it’s very unfortunate and you’re right the bra size (despite me also being one of the people banging on about it !) wasn’t the main point of your post!

FWIW I am basically hour glass and also have a relatively big butt, always have even when I was size 6-8 and I’m sure I sometimes I can feel guys eyes on me from the back 😩 but it’s not as bad as the talking to the chest thing they do.

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I don’t want to derail the thread again as it is actually not about bra fittings 😂but I stand corrected from my earlier posts about bra size @Mooshamoo I went for an-in store fitting yesterday and I’m actually a 32H!

The bras i tried on made my chest look so much more perkier and lifted and were so comfortable.

Bu the new bras as lovely and comfy as they are will not make my chest less sexualised /looked at! They are still very big and noticeable but it is what it is. At least they look and feel a lot better now and I’m giving my boobs the correct support.

Heyjude78 · 21/12/2023 00:08

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Heyjude78 · 21/12/2023 00:12

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VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 21/12/2023 01:03

Winederlust · 12/12/2023 13:59

I know you're saying not but I genuinely don't see how you can be a 38 back based on your size (even size 16).

Does the back strap sit flat across your back or does it ride up as you wear it? That's a sure sign the back is too big. It should be snug with just enough give to fit a couple of fingers underneath.

And as PP have mentioned, when you go down a back size you need to go up a cup size to get the same cup volume. So instead of 38ff you would try a 36G or a 34GG.

The shape of your boobs also makes a difference to the bra style/shape that would fit best.

I don't know what brands of bra you wear but I can't recommend a bravissimo fitting enough. They really know their stuff and the bras they sell (expensive, but once you've found a style that works you can search for them cheaper elsewhere) will change the way you feel about your boobs. Cheap supermarket/M&S/Next bras just don't cut the mustard when it comes to support for bigger boobs.

They really know their stuff and the bras they sell (expensive, but once you've found a style that works you can search for them cheaper elsewhere)

Don't showroom like this if you want the Bravissimo branch and advisors to still be there when you next need a fitting.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 21/12/2023 01:10

FarmGirl78 · 13/12/2023 17:25

Try Asda. They do 36G, so if 36f isn't big enough that should be your next choice rather than 38f. Maybe 38G. But I definitely think Asda 36G would be worth a try. They're only £5/6 each with underwired soft cups and really comfy. My first port of call since Debenhams closed.

Supermarket bras bear no resemblance to the size they claim to me and the cups are the wrong shape, not deep enough.

FarmGirl78 · 21/12/2023 01:19

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 21/12/2023 01:10

Supermarket bras bear no resemblance to the size they claim to me and the cups are the wrong shape, not deep enough.

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Not for me. Asda ones are absolutely perfect. I've struggled previously with Supermarket bras but Asda's current manufacturer IMO has it bob on.

Now if I could just find out where to buy their previous manufacturer's jeans I'd be a really happy girl!

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 21/12/2023 01:38

six pages in, @Mooshamoo i hope someone recommended a breast reduction/lift.
personally life is too short to fight with the ever expanding breasts (yes they often get bigger with peri and menopause).
my breast lift/reduction was the best thing i ever did and should have done it decades sooner. exercise is much easier without them flopping about.
money spent on fancy better bra's annually easy make up for the cost of the surgery.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 21/12/2023 14:41

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 21/12/2023 01:38

six pages in, @Mooshamoo i hope someone recommended a breast reduction/lift.
personally life is too short to fight with the ever expanding breasts (yes they often get bigger with peri and menopause).
my breast lift/reduction was the best thing i ever did and should have done it decades sooner. exercise is much easier without them flopping about.
money spent on fancy better bra's annually easy make up for the cost of the surgery.

I'm glad that surgery worked well for you.

I doubt it would for me as I find my existing scar tissue painful and don't want to add more.

I also think that we should look to change the world to suit women's bodies, not the other way around. Surgery is an individual solution to a group problem, which is that women's breasts are getting bigger across the board but clothing manufacturers have not caught up to this.

Hubblebubble · 21/12/2023 14:43

Try high impact sports bras. They squash everything down a bit. I'm a 36E and I feel like a good sports bra compresses me visually to a C

Circularargument · 21/12/2023 14:43

Merryoldgoat · 12/12/2023 12:02

I would be very surprised if you are a 38 given you are a size 12.

You need a proper fitting bra - it will do wonders.

FWIW I’m a size 24 with 38J breasts and whilst they’re massive they are fine in a good bra.

When much slimmer at a size 16-18 I have a 34 back. 38 is very unlikely.

But not impossible. I'm a 12 and a 38 bra, professionally measured more than once. I have very square shoulders.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 21/12/2023 16:56

Hubblebubble · 21/12/2023 14:43

Try high impact sports bras. They squash everything down a bit. I'm a 36E and I feel like a good sports bra compresses me visually to a C

That compression isn't suitable for everyone. I find it impairs my breathing, plus I feel like I've got a millstone on my chest.

Usernameundiscovered · 21/12/2023 16:59

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 21/12/2023 16:56

That compression isn't suitable for everyone. I find it impairs my breathing, plus I feel like I've got a millstone on my chest.

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I hate sports bras. Equally I don't want to squash everything down I quite like my figure and shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of it because clothes manufacturers think big boobs need minimising

Hubblebubble · 21/12/2023 17:23

@Usernameundiscovered I like my figure too. I thunj I look great naked. But the fact of the matter is that my boobs are an E cup and the national average is a C cup, so clothes are designed for the average bust. Which means I either find minimising bras or I have to size up dresses, tops and jumpers to fit my massive chest, and then the clothes are baggy/ill fitting everywhere else. Also I quite like the freedom of movement sports bras bring. I don't feel like one of my boobs is going to pop out. I'm curious as to what you do about this @Usernameundiscovered

Hubblebubble · 21/12/2023 17:26

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia sports bras really shouldn't be affecting your breathing negatively. They're designed to help stop your boobs bouncing around while you run, jump, play team sports and so on. Which all gets the heart racing and involves lots of rapid breathing.

Usernameundiscovered · 21/12/2023 17:29

Hubblebubble · 21/12/2023 17:23

@Usernameundiscovered I like my figure too. I thunj I look great naked. But the fact of the matter is that my boobs are an E cup and the national average is a C cup, so clothes are designed for the average bust. Which means I either find minimising bras or I have to size up dresses, tops and jumpers to fit my massive chest, and then the clothes are baggy/ill fitting everywhere else. Also I quite like the freedom of movement sports bras bring. I don't feel like one of my boobs is going to pop out. I'm curious as to what you do about this @Usernameundiscovered

I'm a 34J and find wearing tailored clothing works best for me. I'm an hour glass figure though so it is the best overall option for me. I also don't get hung up on clothes sizes, I buy a size 16/18 top/jumper for baggy or comfortable clothes and a 14 dress size if I want it fitted and to show my figure off.

I buy my bras from brastop and get fitted at bravissimo.

Hubblebubble · 21/12/2023 17:31

@Usernameundiscovered when you say tailored do you mean you get measured by a seamstress and your clothes made to measure? Isn't that awfully expensive?