To expect after school club to provide a proper tea?

[Fummymummy]

Genuinely don't know what the norm is here so looking for perspective.

Dd is in reception and goes to wrap around after school.
After she'd come home starving several times, I asked the staff for more info about the tea set up.
They serve tea at 3.30pm, DD says she isn't hungry then so doesn't eat. Fair enough.The food is then taken away and they can have a cracker or a biscuit as snacks later on.
Every single day last week she has had crackers for tea, and today she's had 1 biscuit!
I get that she's offered tea but if she isn't hungry they can't force her to eat, and they have to have a cut off - that's fine, so I asked if they would at least save her plate for later so she at least gets her tea even if it's cold.
She came home yet again today absolutely starving. Doesn't seem like they're keeping her plate back.

We don't get home until about 6pm so she's going from 11.40 (when reception eat) til then.

AIBU to be pissed off that she's living off crackers and biscuits when she's meant to have tea there?
I don't get why it's so early, or why they need to take plates away if some clearly haven't eaten.
Is this normal? Do most kids have to have a second tea at home later? (We usually have bedtime snacks, not a full meal). I know it's not like a nursery where the ratio is lower, but it feels poor that they're letting her go without (bar the crackers).

She's in bed for 7pm so it's a struggle when I'm having to rustle something proper up between getting home, doing her reading and bath/ bedtime.

Am I expecting too much?

TBH I can't believe that for £11 you think that childcare should provide a stimulating and safe environment and you still expect them to be given a proper meal.
Surely that's outsourcing on the cheap.

I've no skin in the game cos mine are way way older.
But I think you're expecting way to much.

Our school and wraparound do the same as private nursery did, which was a hot lunch and then a light tea around 3.30-4pm.The light tea is a snack such as pastry pinwheels, crackers and cream cheese, pitta bread with a filling.

We have a meal at home for DC.

I'd not expect a proper meal to be given and wouldn't expect them to run after-school childcare on individual timetables for food.

£10 for afterschool and you expect a proper meal and for her to be served seperatly from everyone else later on? I pay £25 for 3-6pm in afterschool care. Tea is beans on toast or soup etc. Yabu

At our ASC it was healthy snacks
Dinner when they got home

I totally get you OP and I can’t believe all the nasty comments about you “needing to feed your child at home” and “ASC just offers a snack”. This is definitely not the case everywhere. Our ASC advertises a “three course meal” and we pay £15 per day. Of course I therefore expect my child to receive a proper meal! So if it’s similar at yours then no, YADNBU to therefore expect a meal. The issue though is they are offering it, it’s just unfortunately not at the right time for your DD. Personally I think your options are to cook easy things when you get home (pasta, beans on toast, something batch cooked out the freezer), sen a packed lunch or look into a childminder instead.

If I have needed someone to look after my dog for two hours, you can bet your bottom dollar it would cost more than £11.

Spare a thought for the childcare workers who are on minimum wage looking after your most precious thing on the planet.

It really gets my goat when people expect the impossible while paying peanuts.

Have you considered a childminder or nanny, then you can ensure you child is getting the service you are expecting

@Chipsahoyagain it's a little unfair to say "feed your own child!" when OP has clearly been led to believe she is paying for a meal to be provided. She's not sending her out to forage for roots in the snow!

Thanks so much everyone for all the responses.
It's really interesting to see how places, prices and expectations vary! It seems the consensus that it's a snacky tea in most places and that the majority have another tea (main meal where I'm from) at home, so I'll be preparing for this from now on.

I have already told DD she will need to sit down and eat when the food comes out, or going hungry is the consequence. Whether she takes that on board is up to her!

I actually feel a bit awful now that I haven't been doing this already, but I'll make sure I have quick nutritious stuff in on a night to give her after pick up. I always make her something if she's hungry, but it's usually just snacky food. Given my youngest has tea at the same nursery that runs the club and is never hungry at pick up I naturally assumed it would be the same at the school club - wrongly so. Poor child 😂 but yeah, expectations were only based on what I knew, so there we go!

She only turned 4 at the very end of summer and needs her sleep so pushing bedtime back bedtime isn't an option to make evenings easier, but flexing my work hours to collect earlier might be - so I'll be looking into this in the new year too.

Thanks again for the insight and I'll be taking on board all the tips!

She's offered food and doesn't want to eat it. It not as if they aren't feeding her on purpose.

If its a nursery - our nursery always had tea at 3:30/4 which was cold or easy to cook as the chef did breakfast and lunch and then went home - keeping them on to do food later will cost the company a lot more in salary.

Ours is just a snack - as they run the ASC from a portakabin in the school playground.

If we go straight from ASC to clubs, I have a packed tea for them in the car. Other nights we eat as a family.

Have never heard of this. my ASC is £15 and includes a snack shortly after school finishes so hummus and veg sticks, or bagels/toast etc. And fruit available the whole time there. Most kids collected between 4 and 5.30. All kids obviously going home to have dinner. Does your kid really struggle to stay up beyond 7? Because otherwise it sounds like a really long day they’re out, I’d let them relax on the sofa under blanket and watch tv or colour in etc while i made dinner for us to eat together. Whether that’s defrosting a batch cooked meal, or quickly making some pasta or an omelette or putting something in the microwave. Then they could go to bed at 7.45/8.

Also quiz her on how much of her lunch she is eating if she is having school dinners - some are very small portions where as nursery she may have had more snacks throughout the day with more supervision to see how much she ate. If she is a slower eater may be rushing and not eating it all to go and play.

This makes me appreciate my wraparound care so much. My kids get a full meal at 4.30pm. Roast dinner, shepherds pie, hot pot etc and a dessert. They are not hungry when they get home.
Unlike some of the ASC mentioned on this thread nearly all the kids are collected around 6pm as most parents finish work between 5 and half past.
I couldn’t eat as late as 6.30-7 in the evening so I wouldn’t have dinner with them if they came home and had it anyway. 6 year old in bed by 7.30 and 8 year old 8.30 and me right behind!

They have lots of kids to deal with and need to have a system. If food was available generally they would have complaints of kids grazing and over-eating. They also cannot monitor exactly how much each child eats at what time and what food is being kept for this child later and what food is being kept for that child.

At my DC's school at that age a tray of sandwiches appeared at around 3.30pm and they had 20 minutes to eat what they wanted and then the food vanished. It seemed to work.

We still gave them a proper meal when they got home.

It’s usually toast or crumpets or biscuits with fruit. Mine would have that at nursery around that age. Then another snack about 5:30 when we got home and then a hot dinner about 6:30-7pm.

Same! Although ours doesn't offer something quite as sustainable as yours sounds I'm quickly learning that £7 for 2hours of ASC including food is an absolute steel. I might start using it after all

Refreshing to see a poster take on board the feedback and react with dignity when some posters have been unpleasant. You can get your point across without being mean to others.
I think that this whole thing probably comes down to a misunderstanding of the word "tea" which means different things to different people.

YABU. The dishes and cutlery probably need to go to the kitchen to be cleaned before the kitchen staff go home. Maybe pack her a tea time lunchbox do she can eat at a time of her choosing.

Mine get a " substantial snack" - crackers, cheese, fruit, bagels occasionally. I don't know any after school clubs around here that provide a proper tea. Even the very expensive ones. All pick up at 6pm.

The norm is tea at home. I also found this hard in reception and Y1 with an early bed. But I did a little of slow cooker stews etc so DC could eat immediately and usually still in bed close to 7pm.

Even the tea they have on offer hotdog sausage roll etc sound like snacks and for £11 is reasonable the club can't be making a profit your £11 is going towards staff wages.

You need to make your child a meal get a slow cooker then food will be ready for when she gets home.

One upon a time I taught private nursery/reception with wraparound care, and my answer to the "can you put her plate aside?" question would have been a firm no. First, keep in mind that there are regulations to be followed regarding food safety in an institutional environment. Leaving a plate of food uncovered at room temperature is not ok, and the rooms rarely have access to refrigeration. Having set meal & snack times in designated places is important for hygiene.

But the larger issue is about scalability of the request. If it's not something that the workers can reasonably do for all of the children (and it's not an accommodation for medical/SEN purposes) then they really do have to say no. That's the only fair thing to do for both the children and the workers.

I'd focus on figuring out why your DD isn't eating the food provided at 3:30 and also add a small meal when you get home. I know the evening routine can feel like a crazed sprint at that age when they get home late so I have sympathy there.

Also OP, I have seen a couple of negative comments about the 7pm bedtime , don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty about the 7pm bed time. It's a perfectly normal time for a 4yr old to be in bed for, sleep is so important and they are learning so much at school .

I think most reception kids have afternoon fruit time at afternoon play so I'd be surprised if it's 11.40am through to 6pm anyway.

We pay £9 and ours get bread sticks and rice cakes. Ours get picked up at 6pm and I'll feed them here before bed. Bedtime is 8pm because we can't fit in before 7pm.

Some parents pack more of a dinner for after school but we've never really been a snacky family so mine don't eat it.

I've worked at a few after school clubs and all of them provided a light tea with a proper tea given at home. We served things like spag bol, curry, pasta bake etc but given in smaller portions.
I'm surprised your daughter isn't hungry when she leaves school cos most of the kids I've looked after were always starving. Maybe she needs more encouragement to eat the tea when it is served.

My DC used to get snacks and a drink at about 3:30pm/when ASC started and then a hot meal at 5:30pm. Pick up was 6pm or 6:30pm. Would it be worth maybe packing her soup in a flask? Then she could have that when she was hungry? It might be worth talking to ASC about if that would be an option?