That people are just a bit shit and not worth the bother?

[Sconehenge]

Sorry for the negative nelly post but I’m just tidying up a big mess from a dinner party. It cost us around £600 and counting to put on, in addition to numerous hours of planning.

I came home early last night so I would be fresh for today but half my guests were hungover and just a bit shit, a few cancelled last minute for various “good reasons” but I can’t help think they could have given more notice/worked around . Two of the guests spent the whole time talking about a party last night that I wasn’t invited to even though we are close friends. I mean, maybe it’s my own fault for planning a lunch on a Sunday I guess.

Honestly I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I am a person who considers myself to have a nice social life but after a night like tonight I truly think what is the fucking point?

I know good friendships in life are meant to make you live longer and happier but my experience of good friends so far seems to be that most people are hedonists, they’re after whatever makes them feel good in the moment and if it’s you, then fantastic you’ll have “fun”, if it’s not you, then whatever.

I think it’s time to retire to the woods or something!

Are there better people out there or is this it?

£600 on a dinner party😳for shitty ungrateful people.
There are definitely better people out there OP.
So rude to sit at a dinner and bang on about where you were the previous night.
Your friends sound like a bunch of pretentious snobs. Get rid.

Wow, you need new friends!! Arseholes.

Definitely need new friends. I'd love to be invited to a dinner party.

People are getting more and more entitled these days it seems

I can’t get past the £600 honestly!

I’m not sure op. You can’t ask people to not go out the night before your social event, not drink too much if they do, and not discuss it if you weren’t invited. Seems a bit much to me, as does 600 quid.

Very poor form from them. I’m sorry you went to all that effort for such ungrateful ass holes! I go through phases of feeling like this too, feeling like the only reliable one, or one or one of the only few to bother making any effort. The “good reasons” people give are never actually that good and could often easily be remedied, they just don’t care enough- really hurtful. It sucks and it’s not you it’s totally them. Xx

This was a lunch? Were people expecting a more casual lunch affair?

600 quid

They are certainly not worth £600 and counting.

But Sunday lunch/dinner (you say both) should be a relaxed affair and is an odd timing for a dinner party with friends, elaborate or othwerwise, as opposed to just family. It is not surprising they went out the night before, that being a Saturday. It seems like poor/odd planning on your part.

£600?! I need to know your menu.

Why are they not worth 600 quid. Because they went out the night before had fun and discussed it. They should have abstained, stayed in, stayed sober, not mentioned it, this would have made them worthy?

i totally get that, I would expect guests to have gone out the night before but the two in question I would describe as my best “girl friends” even if that’s silly in our 30s. They knew the effort I was putting into the day, but still went out to a different friends Christmas party, didn’t invite me, and stayed out into the early hours to be hungover. So probably just stupid of me to plan it on a Sunday really. Meh, I don’t know maybe I had too high glorious expectations of feeling warm and lovely afterwards full of Christmas “friendsmas” joy but just found myself disliking everyone and wishing I hadn’t bothered 😂😂

None of this adds up, why spend 600 on a dinner party, some weddings cost less than that

Dinner parties is to spend time with people the food is secondary noone will ever meet expectations if you over invest

I mean, maybe it’s my own fault for planning a lunch on a Sunday I guess.

These people sound shit, but I'll be honest, you really fucked up planning an event like this for a Sunday. People are burnt out by Sunday and are trying to cope with having to go back to work the next day. And at this time of year, the chances are excellent that they would have been out at a party the night before and are recovering from said festivities.

@Aquamarine1029 yes definitely lesson learnt for next year! honestly think I’m just being over sensitive that they were out all night and didn’t invite me to join them, so feel stupid to have spent my evening party prepping for the shit event that everyone was hungover for. Obviously timing is everything and I shouldn’t take it personally but it still doesn’t stop me as a person from being hurt and feeling like it was a waste of time and money.

Nobody is worth £600 and counting for a social event. Is that clearer?

As the rest of my post says, it was bad timing for a dinner party or whatever it was.

After something similar happened to me I’ve decided I’m never entertaining again, the cost, the shopping, the time preparing the food and making the house look nice only for them to cancel less than 24 hours before. Never again, the most I will do now is invite people round for a takeaway and if they cancel it hasn’t cost anything or wasted my precious time preparing, I cannot be fucked with peoples flakey behaviour anymore.

@Fedupbeingworriedallthegoddamntime amen!

What on earth did you spend £600 on?!
Christ alive!!

This is a genuine question, but how is it even possible to spend £600 on a dinner party? Were you serving caviar and champagne to 50 people?

It's just to offer a bit of perspective, but unless you are millionaires, that amount of money (and likely, effort) is never going to feel worth it even with the best guests. For a Sunday lunch you just need a buffet in front of a cosy fire with a few close friends you can have a laugh with.

Sorry wasn’t just spend on food and booze, although that was a big part of it, was also spend on things we needed for the event like glasses and bowls and decorations and things like that. So technically things we will hopefully be able to use again (although unlikely given my new attitude to hosting haha). I can assure that no caviar was served!

Dopamine. It's the thing everyone chases.
That's why lots of people you know snort coke. That's why lots of people you know are addicted to watching reels. That's why people you know seek thrills. Etc etc etc Dopamine rush is addictive - we all seek this btw but some dopamibe rushes are fast abd furious ehilst others are a slower burn.

People who are dopamine chasers can become arses towards others. I think your friends are chasing fast dopamine highs so a glam lunch just isn't enough of a rush for them...

Sorry you went to such great lengths to entertain the ungrateful. I do hope you have other friends who are into glam stuff cos it sounds like that's what you enjoy. Maybe join a club...

I have stopped hosting these days. I used to, but got tired of the flakes. I meet friends at restaurants now. It's sad though.

I KNOW it's not the point-but how many people and what did you spend £600 on?

I don’t know maybe I had too high glorious expectations of feeling warm and lovely afterwards full of Christmas “friendsmas” joy but just found myself disliking everyone and wishing I hadn’t bothered 😂😂
'Friendmas'? Is this your own or a word in your group?
I blame tv for giving unrealistic expectations of friendship groups and what they are in people's lives!